1. The Fight-Bellarke Fanfiction

23. Death Everywhere

*NOTE*

DEDICATING TO IRISHKIDS21 FOR READING ALL OF IT SO FAR :)

CLARKE

My mom, she was all I had left. I hated her for what she did, how she betrayed my father which resulted in his death. I remember it all. My father had made the discovery that we would be out of oxygen in just over a year. He told my mother in confidence, however... she went against him and told Jaha about the system failure. Another council member overheard and had my dad arrested for treason, then to be executed a few days later. I had told Wells, and of course I thought it was him that handed my father over, but I then knew it was not his fault. It was my mothers.

But she was dead, her body probably turned to ashes in whatever was left of the Exodus ship that had crashed.

Everyone was silent as they retreated to their beds, some crying and some not saying anything... The radio was down, we couldn't get hold of Jackson or Kane or anyone in Earth Monitoring. We all knew what this meant. The Ark was gone, just like our parents and our friends that were on the Exodus ship.

I sat there in the same spot, just outside my tent for hours. Focusing on the pillar of smoke, still rising from the impact. I thought of a quote I had once heard in an old Earth movie...

'It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything'

But in that moment, I had never felt more trapped. I would rather have my best friends blood thrown over me hundreds of times than be in mourning over the death of my mother. I hadn't spoken kindly to her. I hadn't told her I loved her. I hadn't even began to acknowledge her recently, and she died the same way that Wells had, thinking that she wasn't loved. Most of all by me.

I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't sob or yell or run away. I sat. I sat there taking in the pain and the grief, hoping it would soon leave just as the smoke from the crash was dispersing into the air around it.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and voice above my head.

"Clarke... you've been sat here for hours. Please, come inside." Bellamy begged me as I looked into the empty space.

I ignored him, his pleas and even as he trying to pick me up, I ignored it all. I guess he knew what I was experiencing, both he and his sister had lost their mother. I had lost my father so I should know how this feels, but watching a man you love being sucked into space is different to losing all you have left.

 

FINN

I watched as Clarke sat on the floor, gazing up, into the sky. No emotion or expression on her face.

She had lost her mom, Abby in the crash. And she was handling it neither well or badly. Just handling it.

We had all lost at least one parent one The Ark. But that was the norm, it was almost protocol... so if your father was ever floated for stealing rations like mine was. You got over it quickly, knowing you were now equal with others around you. But her mother had just died in a fiery explosion, so I can understand after all she has been through really.

Clarke and I were in a strange place with each other. Sometimes she slapped me, other times she could bare me. And the only thing I wanted to do was take her in my arms. I carried one of my blankets over to her, placing it around her body, wrapping her up tightly as the autumn night began to grow chilly. She didn't move, even her eyes remained glazed over whilst I tended to her. I took a thin piece of hair that was dangling in front of her face and tucked it behind her ear.