|Wish we never talked
Wish we never saw
But now I know you're just to far
To catch you in my arms
I wish never met you
I wish I never touched your hand
The day I really though you are
The only one I could ever really love|
--
My nights are
drenched in
long talks with myself
about how things
should've been but
Couldn't be.
//f a r a w a y
Everyone gets their right time and moment to change the way their life goes - She let hers slip though her fingers. We all have that person who slipped away - hers is Park Chaeyoung.
Jisoo is sitting 40 feet from Chaeyoung as she sees the girl say her vows to someone else. Someone that should've been Jisoo.
She swallows hard as she reflects on where she went wrong - Chaeyoung will forever be her biggest regret.
As she stands up to clap and head to the reception she smiles at the now married girl, her guts twist as a surge of unwanted memories come rushing in - She wonders why it took her too long to realize the blonde is more than just Chaeyoung to her and she was more than just Jisoo to the girl - was.
--
Chaeyoung lived next door and Jisoo have known her for as long as she can remember, they've been friends for so long that she forgot how she met the girl. They spent all the important milestones together.
Graduating elementary school - almost getting expelled because they pushed Bobby off the swing during recess. They both went to that awkward transition in middle school, gushed about their first kiss with each other (both secretly wishing they were each other's)
Spending most of high school hoarding trophies and certificates - then of course there was a brief moment of dispute when they were both figuring out their sexual orientation and then finally accepting that they like girls the same way did to boys.
Chaeyoung was different after that - she was more...attached to Jisoo and she would be lying is she said she didn't know why. Between the two of them Chaeyoung was more resilient, more determined, more courageous, more everything - and Jisoo stood on the other side of the bridge while Chaeyoung waited in the middle.
Jisoo wonders how perfect they could've been - her parents adored the kid next door and vice versa. She spent more dinners in the Park's house more often than she did with her parents. They adored Jisoo and she loved them.
College letters came and Jisoo got accepted to study law in Harvard while Chaeyoung is continuing her passion in music - maybe that was the problem - the girl next door was too passionate, but really there's no one to blame but Jisoo
Because in the thousand moments she spent with the girl next door she could've said what she felt but she let every single one slip away.
The girl next door might be nice but she isn't desperate - she would go as far as to visit Jisoo every time she can but she's not going to beg for attention and love the latter couldn't possibly give to her
She said she'd wait forever but not really - why would she wait for someone who couldn't even admit to herself that she liked the girl next door. Chaeyoung took a step back in order to move forward and Jisoo didn't take a single step.
Jisoo doesn't know what's more worse - Standing in front of the girl next door, her bestfriend and trying to push down the regret bubbling up or standing in front of the girl next door, her best friend and not telling her how she felt.
So really there's no one to blame but Jisoo - not faith, not destiny, not - especially not Chaeyoung.
Later that night she would go home to an empty apartment, her phone blowing up because her workaholic secretary is worried about her latest case - she ignores it. She sends a message to Chaeyoung telling her she was beautiful and she wished her the very best - something she never got to say because the girl next door is swamped with other guests.
And on the other side of town - a newly married Chaeyoung smiles at the message. There was a tiny tinged of sadness knowing that Jisoo could've been the one but looking at the message she just received knowing so well that her bestfriend could've wedged her way to Chaeyoung to say her best wishes in person - She knew she made the right choice in moving on.
---
"Maybe in the next lifetime"
A/N: this my attempt to a sad story. Enjoy!
