Beckoned Through The Dark

02 // Lesego // House Rules

The rest of the drive was long and quiet. Dineo was reading a book, Duncan was playing with his phone, while I was stuck in the front seat with my grumpy mother.

Another one of our daily routines, mom is always grumpy. The only thing she ever communicates to us during the car ride is the rules, and the only thing she ever does at home is to remind us of the rules. Otherwise, she refuses to spend any time with us.

It's as if the only family we have is ourselves and Jack, Duncan and Dineo's father, and my stepfather. My father is a touchy subject.

Back to my mother, she has no real friends, at least those that I know of.

Five minutes later, we parked in front of Sweet Angels combined school in town, and Duncan and Dineo climbed out of the car. "Dineo, don't read while walking!" Mother snapped, causing both Dineo and I to jump. My poor sister, she looked so terrified. "Come here!" Mom ordered. Dineo looked at me with glassy eyes, tears threatening to spill out of them. "Mom, we are running late!" I tried to free Dineo, but mom was not having it.

After a huge gulp of air, Dineo slowly walked to my mother's side, and stood outside her door. "Give me that book!" Mom stretched out her hand through the window. Dineo licked her lips and sighed before slowly lifting her small arm to hand the book to mom, who snatched it out of her hands. I felt anger building up inside me. I hated my mother sometimes; she could be so unnecessary. "Duncan!" She shouted at Duncan who was standing on the sidewalk, staring at his screen.
He looked up, obviously annoyed that mom was treating him like a toddler, "yes, mom." He said, sliding his phone in his pocket, and then walked to my mother's side, standing next to Dineo who looked sad for having her book taken from her. "What did I say to you earlier?" Mom asked them both, but they remained quiet. "What. Did. I. Say. To. You. Earlier?" She gritted, slicing through each word. Dineo who looked like she wanted nothing more than to get out of here, replied, "you said a lot of things." Mom pressed her lips into a tight line, and I had to refrain from laughing at Dinny's smart response.

"Don't act smart with me, young lady!" Mom scolded her, but what Dineo said next, had my mom shutting up. "As far as I'm concerned, acting is pretending to be something or someone that you are not, and we both know who is good at that between you and me. So, it is not an act– I am smart." Thick silence followed that ants could be heard moving underground.

My heart broke at Dineo's words. Mom had exposed her to so many rules for someone her age that she began acting differently. Dineo did not think like children her age. She was so matured and smart that the teachers were forced to promote her to a higher grade, especially after she'd become a victim of bullying in her class and around the entire school.

Mom did not even entertain the issue and blew it off. Truth be told, I was the one who rescued Dineo from the bullying when I volunteered to give the school a talk about the issue one Monday morning at assembly. The bullying had cooled down after that and Dineo could walk freely on the grounds of the school once again.

Dineo once told me that mom pretends to be this caring and loving mother when in front of other parents and her teachers. Mom always avoided situations that connected her to us. She doesn't attend parents’ meetings, Jack does that all the time, but there was a time last year when he fell ill and mom was forced to attend a meeting at Dineo and Duncan's school.

Finding the silence uncomfortable, Duncan recited on the rules mom gave them every day, "we shouldn't talk to strangers, we shouldn't hang out with other children, we should stay out of trouble, we should never give your identity to strangers, when they ask us about our parents, we should mention dad only. We shouldn't leave the school yard until you or dad gets here, and we should always call you or dad should we dismiss early." He said all that in one breath. Dineo, seemingly annoyed, walked away from the car.

"Dineo Crystal Ngoma!" Mom scolded her, but she kept walking away. "I'll talk to her." I said and slid out of the car before mom could say anything. "Dineo!" I called, but she started walking faster. "Dineo, wait!" I ran after her and pulled her arm just as she was about to enter the school premises. I squatted down to her level, and held her by her shoulders, forcing her to look at me, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"She hates me." She cried, causing my heart to break to a million pieces. "Oh, sweetie!" I pulled her into a hug, "mom doesn't hate you, okay? She is just trying to protect you." I forced her to pull away and wiped her tears with my thumbs. "Mom loves you with all her heart, angel, she just doesn't know how to show it." I said, trying to reassure myself more than her.

"Now don't cry, okay?" She nodded. "Now show me your beautiful smile." I held her face in my hands and looked into her beautiful brown eyes. Her eyes glistened and she gave me her breath-taking smile, and I felt a little tug on my heart. "There we go, let me see your bag." She furrowed her eyebrows and took her bag off her shoulders, handing it to me. I opened it, and I took out my E-reader from my inside jacket pocket, and I put it in her bags. "Don't tell anyone, okay? And place it under my pillow after school." I said as I ran my hand over her dark curls. She nodded and smiled at me. I helped her wear her bag again and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Lesego."

"You are welcome, Brownie. I love you."

"I love you too." She hugged me and planted a kiss on my cheek before she ran into the school. I watched her walk in alone and sighed. "And me?" I jumped at Duncan's voice. I stood up and tried glare at him, but my attempts failed as I took in his appearance. His eyes were red. Had he been crying? What could have happened during the short time that I left him with mom. He frowned at me, and I raised my eyebrows at him. "Do you love me?" He asked, and I felt my heart tighten. It was my turn to frown at him. "Duncan, how could you ask me something like that?" I scolded him.

Had he been listening to my conversation with Dineo?

Taking my silence as a no, he looked at the ground and started to walk away, but I pulled him back. "Hey, what is wrong with you? Of course, I love you, you idiot!" I pulled him into a hug, causing him to chuckle. He hugged me back and sniffed into my neck. "Hey, what is wrong? Men don't cry, you know." I pulled away from him. He wiped his face and gave me a small smile, shaking his head slightly, letting me know that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Okay, you know where to find me if you want to talk, right?" He gave me a slight nod and a small smile, his dark curls covering his face. "I love you." I said.

"I love you too." He said and started to walk away. "Duncan?" I called, and he turned to look at me, "mom loves you." I said, giving a reassuring smile, which faded as soon as his words hit my ears. It was a whisper, but loud enough for me to make out the words, "keep telling that to yourself." I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat and walked back to the car. I climbed in, and mom took off immediately, without saying anything.

My varsity was a thirty minutes’ drive from Dineo and Duncan's school. The ride there was silent as usual. Mom didn't need to make me retell her the rules. As the eldest, I was expected to know.

She parked outside the main gate, and I hopped off, slamming the door, and then I took my bags from the back seat. "Lesego!" A voice called just as I closed the door. Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile and turned to look at him, "Clay, hi!" I said. He walked towards me, and whispered to my ear, "if you want your mother to keep believing that we are together, you will have to do better than that." His warm breath tickled my skin as he moved to my face, planting kisses everywhere except on my lips.

"Clay." He jumped back at the sound of my mother's voice calling his name. Mom had stepped out of the car and was now standing in front of Clay and I. "Mrs Ngoma." Clay said in a husky voice. I shot him a quick glance before averting my eyes back to my mother who had this proud look in her face. "Please call me Elizabeth." She smiled at him genuinely. I frowned at her, a feeling of jealousy enveloping me. Why was she being like this?

"Of course, Elizabeth." Clay nodded awkwardly. My mother just smiled at him and turned her attention to me, her gaze steely. I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying so hard to look unaffected by her hostility. She crossed her arms and gave me a tight smile while speaking to Clay, "please look after my daughter here, will you?" She said in a bittersweet voice. "Keep her out of trouble." Clay chuckled and pulled me to him, the action not missed by my mom who had a momentary glint in her eyes. "I will take care of her, Elizabeth, you have nothing to worry about." He reassured her.

"Thank you, Clay."

"The pleasure is all mine, Elizabeth." My mother smiled and nodded. She sent one last glance my way before she got into the car and drove off.