Beckoned Through The Dark

11 // Lesego // Wide Awake

Silence fell at once, and I guessed my mother was not at all impressed by this company. I knew my mother knew Mr Clements, but I'd never seen them together or anything, but their relationship was there, and I had no doubt about it; it was the same reason why Jessica Clements hated my guts.  She thought my mother was going to replace her mother, and she and I were going to be placed under the same roof, and that she would become our Cinderella because she was an orphan.

But who could blame her; I would also get angry if I were to have Betty as my stepmother, it was bad enough that I had her as a mother; but Jessica had nothing to worry about, mom was married to Jack, and she would never betray him like that. After the long silence, which I imagine had turned into a staring contest, my mother finally spoke up in the most unladylike way, "what the hell are you doing here, do you want my husband to see you?" She snapped. If she had nothing to hide, then she had nothing to fear.

"I couldn't care less about your husband, Elea, but I care about these children. It seems to me you've been negligent to them. Could you explain to me why she's in this hospital.”? Mr Clements asked, taking me by surprise. He sounded like he cared, ask me to name people on that list, and I wouldn't even tell you one; people despised us, and I've come to accept it. But I hadn't really accepted that he called my mother 'Elea', such a strange name, not even part of her ID.

"DO NOT DARE AND CALL ME THAT! My name is Betty, do you understand?" My mother said angrily, obviously spiteful of whatever name it was he had called her with.

"Fine, Betty, whatever you prefer; but you can never run away from who you are, you are Eleanor Edwards, and that remains." Mr. Clements said authoritatively, shutting my mother up. So, her name was Eleanor. That was a beautiful name, but why did mother hate it, and why didn't she use it? "Why didn't you take her to the private hospital in town and why are the other two not going to school?" A private hospital? Wow! He was something else; he cared too much, and to me it wasn't for us, but for my mother.

"Those two brats did not want to go to school- so I let them stay. As for this one... I am not going to waste any more of my money on her. I am not Cecilia who would do about anything to pay her bills." Brats? Those words really stung. Was that how she felt about us? Did she really hate us that much? I remembered Duncan's words the day mom and I dropped them off at school: "I love you too." He said and started to walk away. "Duncan?" I called, and he turned to look at me, "mom loves you." I said, giving a reassuring smile, which faded as soon as his words hit my ears. It was a whisper, but loud enough for me to make out the words, "keep telling that to yourself." His words kept ringing in my head; making me wish he was here to tell me that he'd told me so.

"I told you to give her up for adoption, because she was no use to you. Vincent was happy to have his wife and their new-born twins, but you killed her and took her daughters; and what did you gain from it?" It was quiet for a while; but then he continued, "You should have taken the kids to their father, but no! You are Eleanor Edwards, and you always find a way to dig yourself into deeper trouble!" I was now curious to know who this Vincent guy was, he sounded like an important person in this case. What was he to my mother? And most important; who was he to me?

"Stop it! Just stop!" My mother snapped, finally finding her voice; but unfortunately, he did not stop, her voice and anger did not move him, "No. You were bitter, because your mother and brother loved his wife more than you. You killed Rorisang, because she had what you would never have, and more. And you convinced yourself that you did him a favour by killing his wife.”

"I loved him!" My mother cried, shocking me to the core; but what he said next shocked me more, " He was your brother!" He snapped, and nothing but laboured breaths and cries resounded in the ward. "And you lied about the twins' death. How could you punish an innocent man for loving his wife?" Mr Clements asked quietly, obviously tired from all the shouting; this made me wonder where all the nurses were, don't they usually interrupt this type of behaviour and give the ' you are going to disturb the patient' B.S? If so, then why hadn't they come yet?

"I think we should leave." My mother said, and I heard footsteps. Thank God! My head was already spinning from all the revelations. I wondered if they were really talking about me, because if they were, then it meant that my life was a lie; my mother wasn't my real mother, and there was a slight possibility that Cecilia wasn't really lost.

"Looks like I'm the only one left here, Les. It is me, Jack. I know I'm probably the last person you want here, but I couldn't leave without seeing you." As he had said, it was my stepfather. He sounded so concerned that I almost forgot that we were not the best of friends. What was he doing here?

"I know things did not end well the last time we saw each other," he sighed, regret lacing through his voice. "But I promise you that I am going to be a better father to you. I will be the father you never had, okay. I will love you and take care of you. That's what I've wanted to do from the first day, but you never gave me the chance; you always pushed me away and found every chance to tell me that I wasn't your father."  He cried. I had never heard or seen him cry. Maybe because I never gave him a chance, I never paid attention to him; to me, he was just the man who spent my mother's money.

I felt slightly guilty for being a stepdaughter from hell. I was always rude to him; I just hoped that one day he would forgive me. It was funny how I said he was not my father, but I had never had the privilege to meet my real father; and Jack was always there. I didn't owe anyone out there an apology, but if there was one person who deserved it, it was Jack Ngoma. I just hoped that I could live yet another day so that I could tell him how sorry I was. 

The first thing I had thought when Cecilia said my stepfather was here to see me was that people will only appreciate you once they realise how close they were to losing you; but to be frank, he had always cared. Every word that came out of his mouth now, broke my heart, "Just wake up, and I'll prove myself to you. Goodnight, my angel. I love you."

I heard footsteps, and I tried to open my eyes; and this time, they opened. I could see a little bit. My vision was still blurry, but I saw Jack walking towards the door. "Jack?" I whispered, and he turned around. I groaned in pain when a throbbing ache attacked my head when the light met my eyes. Jack rushed to me, and asked if I was alright, and I nodded slowly.

"Hey, you are awake. Welcome back to life." He said, sounding as if he couldn't believe that I was awake. Despite the bags under his eyes, and the tiredness on his face, there was a shy smile on his face, a ting of pink on his cheeks. I wanted to speak, to say something useful, but my mouth was too dry.

"Water. I need water." I felt weak compared to how I felt while I was unconscious.

Jack moved towards the headboard and grabbed a glass of water with a straw, and then he helped me to drink. Now I felt a lot better. "Thanks, Jack. Your presence means a lot to me. Thank you." I wanted to say more, but I couldn't; I didn't have the courage. Jack gave me a shy smile, and kissed me on my head, "Rest, we will speak tomorrow." He ruffled my hair, causing me to chuckle; and then he left. Not even fifteen seconds after he had left, a young nurse walked in.

"Your father told me that you were awake. It's a pity Lwandle is not here, she is very fond of you. You would swear she was your mother or something."  I didn't like her. She had an annoying voice, and a very bad aura around her. Her sweet attitude was a bit persuasive, I disliked fake people. She was a black African; light skinned and short. She had chocolate brown eyes, and a long afro, and she was wearing a blue nurse uniform. "Who are you?" It came out unexpectedly, shocking the both of us.

She gave me a sweet smile that was beyond fake, and said, "I am Sister Abigail Dan colleague." This was the exact reason why I disliked her; she spoke about Lwandle as if she was some kind of God, and she being a Good Samaritan, she was trying to persuade me to praise Lwandle like she did. "That is none of my business. All I wanted to know was your name." I retorted.

I could see from the way her fingers twitched, that she was trying so hard not to lose her cool with me. She gave me a tight smile, and said, "Like mother like daughter. I guess what they say is true- an apple does not fall far from its tree." This girl had serious issues with my mother and I, and she was taking her anger out on me. I was also losing my cool, but I also controlled myself, “you don't know anything about me." I said quietly.

"Oh! I know more about you than you do." She said proudly and left me with a lot of questions running in my head. I couldn't stop thinking until I fell asleep.