Beckoned Through The Dark

16 // Lesego // No Paradise Without Trouble

As if the counter suddenly grew nails that were piercing at my behind, I jumped off, and stood still; trying to process what she said. "M-me?" I stuttered; my breath caught on my throat. "W-why...Mrs Martins..." I trailed off; not quite sure what to ask her. I was scared, especially after what my mother said at the hospital; her words were as clear as daylight: accidents happen every day, and even little angels like me die.

"Miss Medupe, please listen carefully to what am about to tell you," Mrs Martins instructed. "You have been out for three weeks, and a lot of things have happened. You missed all your exams, and other things that you are not yet aware of happened..." Maybe it was my ears, but I thought I heard someone telling her to hurry up from in the background.

"Ma'am, who was that?" I asked, to which she replied, "nothing. Uhm... I want you to meet someone. Someone special to me; she's not well. She went through a lot over the past years and she needs someone now; I am the one who always counselled her, but after what happened with your mother, I decided to go on a short trip just to get things off my mind." She took in a shaky breath and kept quiet for a few seconds. "Her name is Rorisang, I'll send you her address tomorrow morning." The line started to cut, and I couldn't hear anything she was saying. "Mrs Martins, are you still there? Hello?" I removed the phone from my ear and checked the screen; just in time to see a notification saying, 'call ended.'

No doubt, Mrs V was a nice woman, but she'd just fallen into my list of people I should stay clear of. First, she tells me that I should not worry about her, but myself, but I more than worried right now; I am worried about her, I am worried about Dineo and Duncan, I am worried about the nurses, I am a little worried about Duncan, but most importantly; I am worried about myself. Strange things have been happening lately, and I thought I had found someone I could trust, but it turned out that I couldn't trust anyone; me included.

I went back to the sitting room, and found that only Dineo and Duncan were there, watching cartoons, while Betty and Jack were nowhere to be seen. "Guys..." I started to ask but Dineo answered before I could even ask her the question, when she said, "upstairs." I nodded and went upstairs. I needed to take a nap after this morning's episode.

I got to my bedroom and stood outside the door. The last time that I had been in my room was during the accident, as everyone preferred to call it. I would be lying if I said I was happy to be back; this was the last place I wanted to be, but I had no choice. I took in a deep breath, and slowly opened the door while walking in, its squeaking sound increasing my fear.

I opened the door completely and everything came into view, though it was dark because the curtain was still closed.

With trembling hands, I switched on the light, and closed the door behind me. The room was still the same as I left it; books scattered on the study table, clothes hanging on the chair and washing basket, shoes under the bed, except for the bed which was made up, but in the Dineo style. I sat at the edge of the bed and reminisced over everything that happened that night; who was that woman that was in my room?

The question repeated itself in my head until something clicked, and I realised that my life was being complicated by women; my mother, Cecilia, Mrs Martins, Lwandle, Abigail, and finally; the strange woman who was in my room. I didn't know who all these women really were, at least the majority. I thought I knew my mother, but it turned out that I didn't know her as much as I thought I did, and then there was Mrs Martins who just happened to be confusing me.

I sighed and got off the bed and went to my study table. I removed the clothes from my chair and placed them on the washing basket, and then sat down and took out my laptop. I had to do research, but I didn't even know where to start, and the laptop wasn't helping me at all with its slowness; it was too old and the battery was just as dead, but it was still useful. I thought this was a good environment, but it turned out that I was wrong when I heard shouting and hushed voices coming from outside my room.

Jack and Betty were fighting, and their fights turned violent sometimes. Well, at least they used to when Duncan was still a little baby of not more than eight months. But they hadn't fought in a long time, let alone argue; the last time they had an argument was when Betty beat me up when I was still in high school. I wondered why they were fighting now. Duncan and Dineo were probably listening to them. I couldn't let them go through what I had to go through. I shook my head and went outside my room; and then I went to their bedroom, and got hold of the doorknob, debating on whether to open the door or not; settling for the later, I listen in on their conversation.

Jack was shouting in a hushed voice, "...times have changed, things have changed! It is not going to be easy, Elizabeth; you are too old to have a baby, you are 45 for goodness sake. Don't do this please." He sounded desperate to change her mind on whatever idea she'd cooked up in that head of hers. "I can't, Jack. This is our time–" my mother spoke, her voice so enthusiastic; but Jack cut her off her radar. "You mean your time!" He shouted. "This is all you, Elizabeth, it is always about you. You know that if it were up to me, we wouldn't have any children." Wow! Cold silence fell over, and I had to hold my breath just for in case they were checking if someone was listening to their conversation.

"Everything I do is for us. We are husband and wife, remember? In health and in sickness, for better for worse, in joy and sorrows, till death do us apart." Silence followed as she recited their vows. It sounded so sweet; she sounded so sweet, but the threat behind her words remained as deadly. "This is going to ruin us; it will ruin you. But if you want this so bad, go ahead and do it, but know this: you are on your own." Jack said, and then footsteps resounded in the room. "Why are you dressing up? Where the hell do you think you are going?" Jack shouted. "Where do you think? I need some fresh air!" Betty snapped.

I took a step back, and silently went back to my room, but I could still hear them because their room was a few doors from mine. "You mean you are going out to drink." Jack stated as a matter of fact.

"Don't put words in my mouth!"

"Fine. Go on and enjoy your fresh air."

"If you think that I am going to change my mind then you are mistaken, because that's exactly what I am going to do!" I heard their bedroom door being slammed, followed by heels clicking across the stairs. I had to stop this. I walked out of my room and found Jack standing at the bottom of the stairs, with his hands on his waist. Why wasn't he stopping her? "Jack, you can't let her go to drink, okay? Agree to whatever it is that she wants." Jack snapped his head in my directing, his stare burning holes into my skull. "If you knew exactly what your mother was up to, if you knew what she was asking me to do; then you wouldn't be asking me that." He said sternly and jogged up the stairs.

"What did she ask you to do?" I shouted after him, and he stopped on his tracks, and turned around, greeting me with silence. "Please, Jack; you have to stop her, she is going to drink." I pleaded with him; he knew exactly what she was capable of when she was drunk. "Then let her go; maybe for once in her life, the alcohol will knock some sense into her head again." He said and disappeared up the stairs. "You know what she did the last time she got drunk!" I shouted, although he was out of sight.

I heard the car outside, and I ran to the front door and out into the street just in time to catch her car speeding off in the distance. I threw my hands on the side and let the tears roll. This was not how I had imagined my first day back home would be. The last thing I needed was history repeating itself, because my mother going to drink was history; and this history was what landed me in hospital for the first time ever in my entire life, for broken ribs. "What are you still doing here?" Her cold voice startled me. If this girl hated me before, she hated me more now. I turned around to see Claudia standing next to her gate, her eyes piercing at me.

"What do you mean, what am I still doing here?" I asked her, but she just looked at me, her hatred for me increasing with every second she spent staring at me, because the look on her face shattered my heart piece by piece. "Claudia!" I was grateful when her mother called for her, and she finally left me. I walked into the yard and closed the gate. When I got inside the house, Duncan and Dineo were seated on the couch, watching TV. But as soon as they heard the door close, their heads snapped in my direction, and they looked at me expectantly.

However, I had nothing to say to them; what could I possibly tell them? I had always tried to protect them from our mother and her troubles, and I succeeded each time; and that, that was what I was going to keep doing until my last breath. "Guys, I'm just going to lie down, we will talk later." And with that said, I jogged up the stairs and went to my room, this time to sleep, hoping to wake up with a solution to this problem.