Beckoned Through The Dark

12 // Lesego // White Lies

I had the same dream I had the night before the accident. Except, this time, someone shook me up before the bad part, and I was grateful to that person, that was until..."Hey, Boitshelo. Wake up. Boitshelo?" Cecilia called me Boitshelo while shaking me up.

"I'm awake." I groaned into the hospital pillow. "Why are you calling me Boitshelo? My name is Lesego. Lesego Medupe, not Boitshelo." I said, annoyed that all these nurses were giving me attention, something I hated the most.

"I know, but that's what I prefer calling you, and that's what I am going to call you." Cecilia said sternly, not leaving any place for argument. I looked up from the pillow, and just stared at her. Something was wrong with this woman; I felt strange around her, and I didn't know why. "What do you want from me?" I asked. She sighed and gave me an understanding look; but didn't elaborate further when she said, "You will understand as time goes on. For now, concentrate on getting better. Your teacher is coming later; she's the first on your visitors' list. So, get up, take a shower and eat." She ordered and marched out of the room.

I did as she ordered; I showered, dressed up, went back to bed, and then I ate the food that was waiting for me. Fancy breakfast if you ask me, I doubt it was from this hospital. Baragwanath Hospital's food was awful, speaking from experience; I did not like it one bit. "Don't you have other patients to take care of?" I asked with an attitude when Cecilia entered with her arms crossed. She just stood next to the door, and stared at me, making me uncomfortable. After a while, she finally spoke up, "Just let me help you, please, you deserve to know the truth, Boitshelo." She pleaded.

What was it with her? She sounded desperate, that made me uneasy. They say desperate times call for desperate calls, and I think she would do anything to get what she wanted if I refused to cooperate with her. As scary as that was, she looked harmless; there was nothing scary about her, just long white hair, pale lips, and pale skin. She was beautiful; she looked like– no! Could it be her, the mysterious woman from the school garden and the faceless woman from my weird dream? It couldn't be her. I refused to believe it, and just shook the thought out of my mind; and instead, chose to focus on the current situation- her plea.

I wanted to help her. However, I still didn't know her. She never introduced herself and I still believed that she was mistaking me for somebody else. But I guess trying won't hurt, right? I sighed and bit on my lower lip, not sure if I was really ready to do this; but I continued anyway, "If you really want to help me, you can start by calling me Lesego, please, and introduce yourself." Her eyes widened in disbelief, I didn't know if it was because I agreed to let her help me, or the introduction issue. It took her a while to respond, but she did anyway. "Fine, if that's what you want. Please call me Cecilia." She smiled and fought hard to stop her tears. 

She must have really needed me. But what could I possibly do to help her? I thought about her name. Cecilia? Could she be the woman Eleanor and Mr Clements were talking about? Well, I hope not.  These name issues were really starting to get to me, especially my mother's. I was about to ask her what it was she knew about my mother, but the last person I had expected to see, entered the room; a smile gracing her aging face. "Good morning, Miss Medupe." I couldn't believe my eyes, after everything I had done to her; she still came to see me.

"Juffrou Martins, it is so good to see you!" I was happy. Out of all the people that had come to visit me, I was gladder to see her. I had a very soft spot for the old lady; she was more than just a lecturer to me; she was my friend, my mother, my sister, and a grandmother I never had. Yes, she could be a bit too much sometimes, but I really loved her. She had been with me since my first day of varsity. I felt the tears flowing down my cheeks, and I sat up and opened my arms for a hug. She laughed and hugged me.

An unreadable emotion crossed Cecilia's face, and I didn't miss the tear that slipped out of her eye before she strolled out of the room. Mrs Martins continued to comfort me as more tears escaped, "I know how you feel, dearie, but don't cry. Please do not cry, Lesego, just calm down." I sniffed and pulled away, a nervous chuckle escaping my lips when I imagined how terrible and childish, I must have looked. "How do you feel?" She added. "How do you really feel?"

She sat on the bed, and we just stared at each other, speaking through our eyes. "I was scared." I admitted, silent tears flowing down my face. It was for the first time that I admitted my feelings to someone after the accident, nobody bothered to ask how I felt. To them it was just an accident; I had an asthma attack, went into a coma for three weeks, and then everything would be fine.

"Oh, Miss Medupe, I wish I could have been there for you." She said, squeezing my hand. I squeezed back and smiled at her, "there was nothing you could have done. Trust me." She sighed and pulled her hands away. "This is all so wrong. You could have died. I was very worried about you." I knew she cared, she always has, but she was holding back on something. There was for to this visit than meets the eye. "You are just still so young, there's a lot of things you still need to do. You need to find yourself." She rambled on, staring afar. It was as if she was alone, like I was not even here.

It must be the old age, growing up does that to you sometimes. I shook my head, and gently squeezed her hand, "Mrs Martins?" I called, but she did not hear me. "Mrs Martins!" I shook her hand, causing her to jump in fright. She pulled her hand and placed it on her chest while climbing from bed. She looked slightly puzzled, she picked her handbag from the headboard and clutched it to her chest as if someone was going to take it away from her.

"Mam, are you okay?" I asked, worried. She nodded and gave me a weak smile. "Of course, Miss Medupe! I have to get to work, I have a lecture in an hour." She said and kissed my cheek. "Get well soon, Miss Medupe. Take care."

"Thanks, Mrs Martins. You too." She smiled, and walked out the door, leaving me sick worried about her. She was acting a bit strange today. Not even thirty seconds later, she barged into the room, breathless. "So–sorry about this, I- I just remembered that you missed a few exams." She stuttered. I nodded and watched her. I gestured at the jug and glass of water on the small table, "help yourself." She nodded, and drank two glasses of water, all the while watching the door.

I looked at the door, and back at her, and narrowed my eyes at her. What was she up to? "You were still saying? Exams..." I asked. She frowned at me and lit up like a Christmas tree when she remembered what she had said when she came back. "Oh, that! I–" A loud commotion from outside stopped her from talking, as we both watched the door anxiously.

"What do you mean I can't see my daughter?” A somewhat cold voice shouted, and I recognized her immediately. It was my mother.

"With all due respect, Mam, there's already someone in there!" A lady, who I assumed was a nurse, tried to explain, but my mother didn't give her any chance. It sounded like that impatient nurse from earlier; I think her name was Abigail Daniels? I couldn't see her or my mother, but I recognized their voices. "First you tell me that it is not yet visiting hours, and then you tell me that my daughter has a visitor?" Mom snapped, and I could just imagine Abigail's face turning red.

"Is there a problem here, Mam?" The other nurse, Lwandle, asked. I recognized her voice too, but I hadn't had the pleasure to meet her. Although Lwandle was nice and calm, my mother was quite the opposite, "This fool here is telling me that I can't see my daughter, because there is another visitor.” She shouted, and I noticed how Mrs Martins flinched with every word spoken. "How are you going to make up for the missed exams?" She asked, still watching the door.

I knew she was just trying to push time, she looked like she was going to faint. "I know you mean well, but I think I will cross that bridge when I get there." I said, faking a smile; she just nodded and didn't say anything after that. I didn't hear what the nurses said, but my mom sounded very angry; and looked the part when she barged into the room, startling both Mrs Martins and me. "She is my daughter and I have every right to be here!" 

She stood at the door and looked at me, a lot of emotions running through her eyes; and then she turned to Mrs Martins, and her face turned cold, "Who the hell do you think you are to come and see my daughter without my permission? I am her mother and I get to call the shots around here." She shouted angrily.

For a moment, Mrs Martins looked startled, but regained her composure, and then she turned the tables on my mother. I had never seen my mother so scared her entire life. "Such a small world. Right, Eleanor? Who could have thought that you and I would cross paths again?"