Beckoned Through The Dark

35 // Clay // Fool In Love

"Is she there?" I asked on the phone while looking over my shoulder as I stood with my back against the car. "Okay, please make sure that she eats, understand?"

"She thought it was you when I opened the door, you know?" Tommy said.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes in frustration. "Not now, Tommy."

Tommy was a waiter at the hotel I booked into yesterday, he was also my estranged cousin from my estranged father's side, and he could be an ass when he wanted to.

"She needs you, Clay. I don't care what's up with you, but she's in no space to be left alone," he insisted.

"Don't you think I know that?" I raised my voice without intending to, and then bit into my tongue to control my anger. "I get that she needs me, I just can't believe this has been happening right under my nose and I didn't even see it."

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" He yelled back.

"I'm not, Tommy. I don't. I betrayed her and I hate myself for it," I admitted. "I was at the school during that supposedly 'gas leak' and I didn't suspect anything at all. I was still mad about–"

Tommy sighed loudly; I could see him rubbing his eyes like he always did when frustrated. Guess it was a family thing. "Clay, just get your ass back in the hotel and tell her your side of the story. I was with you all those months you were mopping about how she'd changed and how you missed the girl you fell in love with, and I was with you this morning when you told me everything that had happened." Tears started rolling down my face, and quickly wiped them away, trying to keep my 'strong guy' act in check. "The look in your eyes every time you speak about her," he paused; "tell her you love her before you miss the chance again."

"Please take care of her for me, cuz."

"I'd rather you came back and did that yourself. See you later," he said defiantly and then hung up on me.

"Take care of who?" I froze at the sound of the voice I never paid attention to before as Lesego came out of her yard.

I couldn't help looking at her face. She had the same caramel skin as my Lesego, the same brown eyes, but they were duller with a cold and mischievous glint in them. Her lips were pink and full, and strangely, she was wearing makeup. Lesego never wore makeup, after her mother got her treatment for acne in high school; she had a smooth face that required no makeup.

Lesego had bushy eyebrows and thick lashes, and a beauty right on top of her lips; she had this adorable baby-like face. One of the things I loved about her. However, this one was the complete opposite.

"Earth to Clay!" She snapped her fingers in my face, and I snapped back to life, faking a smile on my face. "What are you thinking about?" She asked.

I cleared my throat, not knowing what to say. "Uhm... it's uhm, one of my students, she–"

Before I could finish with my lie, she waved me off. "Anyways, baby, I know I said we would go to visit Zachary in prison; but there's a great sale at Mr Price, and there's these nice shorts I want," she said excitedly.

Zachary?

It now made sense. Every time Zack's name came up, she acted nonchalantly as though he never existed. Lesego would never have abandoned him, she loved Zack so much, at some point I even got jealous of him because he had all her attention.

She was distraught on the day he was arrested. That was the same day that we kissed. Without intending to, I kissed the girl in front of me, wondering if all the magic I thought I felt all these months was there.

But the kiss was just full. I quickly pulled away, my heart pumping at an unacceptable rate. She stared at me for a while in shock and then blushed furiously.

I felt this burning feeling building up inside and I just wanted to scream.

How could I have missed this? There was no connection at all, I felt nothing for this girl apart from the desire to make her disappear right there and then, so that things could go back to normal.

“Clay, are you okay? You look…pale.” She frowned, a panicked expression in her eyes.

This was one of those moments that I really needed Tommy. I felt all the blood drains to my brain, I felt lightheaded and just wanted to be alone.

I pushed her away and opened the car. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” I breathed when she tried to reach out to me.

“Clay?” She called out, but I was already in the car.

I looked at her from the window, not believing that I’d been tricked for the past few months.

I sped away from her without second thought, and within thirty minutes of reckless driving, I was at the hotel. I just prayed that I didn’t run into Lesego, because I wasn’t in the right state of mind to see her.

I rushed into the hotel and skimmed through the entire floor for Tommy; when I didn’t spot him anywhere, I approached the reception desk where the kind Sam was attending to a customer.

“Sam,” I said with unhidden urgency.

“He’s in the kitchen,” he said with a knowing voice. I quickly thanked him and jogged towards the kitchen where I barged in and dragged Tommy out without a single word, while he protested and complained.

“Clay, I understand that this is a family hotel, but it doesn’t mean you can barge in and out as you please,” he grumbled as I dragged him towards the elevator. Luckily, there was no one else on this floor.

We stepped into the elevator, and when the doors were about to close, a lady stepped in and stood at the far corner. I couldn't blame her because I'd cornered Tommy at the other corner, so I could just imagine how we looked.

"Clay, what is wrong, man?" Tommy whispered.

"I was with her, and she just stood there pretending to be someone she was not," I yelled.

Tommy looked around nervously, probably hoping we were not scaring the poor lady. "Okay, calm down."

"Calm down? How can I calm down? You don't understand, Tommy!" I wanted to say so much, but I didn't know how to put it into words. There was just a lot going on in my head and I couldn't handle it. "She stole Lesego's life and she has completely changed it. Her house is in chaos, she's failed her exams, she does whatever she wants, she has turned against all of Lesego's friends, and she doesn't care about her siblings at all!" Blinding tears rolled down my face. "Lesego loves her siblings, she would do absolutely everything for them. But this imposter..." I shook my head. "Just last week Dineo wasn't okay and she told her to go to sleep. I had to intervene and take Dineo to the hospital."

"Clay, it is not your fault." He tried to comfort me, but I stepped back.

"Of course, it is my fault! I've been trying to get her to visit Zack in prison for months, but she always evaded the topic. That alone should have been a sign that something was wrong."

"How could you have known it wasn't her?" I sucked in a deep breath; he didn't understand me. He was not listening to me. "I mean, even her own mother didn't notice," he added.

"How could she notice when she's been drowning herself in alcohol?"

Something dropped to the floor, and we both swiftly turned around.

"Shit." Tommy muttered and disappeared as soon as the elevator opened.

"Lesego–" I tried to explain, but she ran out of the elevator to our room, all the while I could see she was fighting to keep herself together.

The moment I closed the door behind me, she broke down and wailed, clutching her chest as if she was in deep pain.

This was exactly why I didn't want her to know anything yet, she was still distraught from everything that she's been through in the past few months.

I don't know how I missed her when she entered the elevator, I guess I was too caught up in my problems to notice. She'd cut her hair into a cute bob cut and she dyed it in silver; and she had a new long-sleeved, woollen dress that reached right above her knees.

She looked so refreshed from the last time I saw her, and she was even more beautiful than ever, this was her way of starting over, but I ruined it for her.

Was this how things were going to be from now on? We keep pushing each other back and forth?