Beckoned Through The Dark

17 // Lesego // Drunk Nights

I woke up around 3p.m., and cooked dinner for the four of us; and then around 7p.m., we had dinner, but I didn't finish my food. Food was the last thing on my mind, I was worried about my mother; she had not returned or tried to call since she left earlier today. She was probably drunk to the point where she couldn't even remember her own name, or where she stayed.

"I'm going to bed," Dineo said after dinner, and I just nodded. She got up and went upstairs; and then Duncan started to clear the table, "no, leave it; I'll wash them." I said. "But-"

"Go to bed, Duncan, I'll do the dishes." He placed the dishes on the table and kissed me on the cheek before her left. Jack looked at me and sighed, he knew that I was planning on waiting up for Betty, and he did not like it, however, he did not try to persuade me otherwise, he knew that he was going to fail. "Goodnight, Lesego." He said and left me alone.

"Goodnight." I replied after they all disappear up the stairs. I stood up and cleared the table, and then I washed the dishes in the kitchen. After washing the dishes, I went to the sitting room and watched TV just to push time. I had to wait up for Betty, otherwise, she would sleep outside.

Hours passed, and there was still no sign of my mother. It was past twelve midnight, and I was getting sleepy; my eyelids were heavy that I wouldn't be surprised if I passed out. I switched off the TV, and absorbed the silence, which was broken by my ringtone, scaring the life out of me. "What the hell?" I jumped off the couch and looked around the sitting room as if something was going to jump out from the shadows, but none of that happened, except; my phone continued blaring. I picked it up and checked the caller ID. It was my mother calling, she was probably at the gate.

I put the phone back down and walked towards the front door. I wasn't even sure whether she was outside or not, but what other reason would she have to call me besides wanting someone to open the gate for her? I opened the curtain, enough to get the view from the gate, and at that moment; I wish I had procrastinated, or not have opened the curtain at all because the sight before me broke my heart.

My mother was standing next to a car I knew so well; Mr Clements's car, and they were kissing, right in front of the gate. How could she do something like this? What if Jack had decided to wait up for her instead of me? Jack loved her with all his heart, if he didn't; he would have left her a long time ago, long before Duncan and Dineo were born. But he stuck around, and supported her through thick and thin, and this was how she repaid him?

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't see the car leave, or my mother enter the yard; until she started banging the door. I jumped back in fright, and quickly recollected myself when she got louder. I took in a shaky breath and rushed for the handle, opening the door with trembling hands. I took out the key from behind the door and unlocked the burglar for her, and then I stepped aside so that she could come in. I locked the burglar and the door after she had entered.

I watched her walk towards the couch with wobbly steps, and then she picked up my phone from the coffee table and switched on the screen. "Why didn't you answer my calls?" She asked, waving the phone in the air. "I did not hear it ring." I lied. She narrowed her eyes at me before she nodded and placed the phone back on the table. "I... Uhm... I am going to bed; I was just waiting for you to come back. Goodnight." I rambled on and disappeared up the stairs before she could say anything.

Before I got to my room, I went straight to the bathroom to wash my face, and to cool down. And then when I got to my room, I found my mother sitting on my chair. "Mother, what are you doing in my room?" I asked her, my back against the door. "Lesego?" She called, and I remained quiet. She stood up from the chair and walked around the room, making turns and twists at every corner, with her hands behind her back like a soldier. Finally deciding that she has seen enough of my room, she walked towards me in drunk strides, and stood in front of me, her hands still behind her back. "Lesego Medupe. My sweet, sweet daughter." She cooed, playing with my hair. "Tell Mr something; what did I tell you about locking the gates and doors?" As she asked that, she pulled out a belt from behind.

"Mother-"

"Don't 'mother' me, you little brat! What the hell did I tell you about locking the gates and doors?" She snapped, grabbing hold of my wrist. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared; I could hear my own breath. "Mother, you don't want to do this." I said, holding back my tears. It was so funny; I was 23, and yet she treated me like a little girl. I guess it was true what they said, children will forever be children to their parents no matter how old they are.

Betty raised the belt, and I closed my eyes as I awaited the pain, but I couldn't take it, so I blurted the first thing that came to my mind. "If you lay your hands on me, I'm going to tell Jack what you've been up to!" Her grip on me loosened, and I moved far away from her. "What did you just say?" She asked.

"I know about you and Ronald; you were together at the hospital, and you spent the entire day with him." I said breathlessly. I had just dug my own grave by threatening my mother. For a moment, she looked pale and frightened as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She was quiet, studying me with intense eyes; and then she dropped the belt on her side. She took steps towards the door and opened it before she turned around to face me again, and then she looked at the ground. "You were lying right there when I found you that morning." She spoke, her eyes pointed next to my bed, exactly where I had passed out. "You were lying there, halfway dead, your body a bit cold. And I stood right here, debating whether to call an ambulance or leave you there; and I settled for the later– I left you to die." Tears were streaming down my face, and I wondered what I had done for her to hate me like this. She was my mother, and I was her daughter, her flesh and blood. "I left you and went to the bathroom, if it wasn't for your sister..." She shook her head and left me in a pool of tears.