Pasado alas tres y medya na kami nakarating sa memorial. Dumaan pa kasi kami sa tindahan ng bulaklak dahil bumili siya ng ilalagay sa puntod ng kapatid.
After he had placed the flower in the tomb, he took from the small bag he was carrying a candle and lit it. Then tears started to drip from his eyes.
"How are you kief? Kuya is here. I hope you're okay and happy wherever you are now. I missed you so much, kami nila Mom and Dad. I'm sorry na ako ang naging kuya mo........ I'm sorry kung medyo hindi na din gano'n ako kadalas dumalaw. Guide our parents always, our little angel". He cried.
I don't know what to do but I wanted to comfort him. Bumigat ang dibdib ko habang pinagmamasdan siyang umiiyak sa harap ng puntod.
"I'm sorry that I happened to be your irresponsible brother". patuloy niya.
Naramdaman ko nalang na tumutulo na din pala ang mga luha ko. How can I unfeel the pain he is feeling right now?
Hinawakan ko siya sa balikat. Hindi ko na alam ang ginagawa ko, gusto kong pagaanin ang kanyang kalooban.
Napalingon siya sa akin. His face is now wet because of tears running on it. I unzipped my bag at kinuha ang dalang panyo at pinunas sa mukha niya. "Stop crying, okay? Wala kang kasalanan. H'wag mong sisisihin ang sarili mo".
Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong yakapin. Thank you" bulong niya sa tenga ko.
"It's okay" I whispered. Itinaas ko ang kamay ko at marahang tinapik-tapik ang likod niya.
I don't know how long we stayed on that position, but I do like it. How weird.
After he cried ay umupo kami sa damuhan sa harap pa din ng puntod.
"By the way, bakit hindi dumalaw parents mo?" naisipan kong tanong sa kanya pagkatapos ng mahabang katahimikan between us.
"They're not here. They both in US. Hindi sila makakauwi dahil sa trabaho. Or maybe, they don't want to see me"
"Wa-why?"
"Masama pa din siguro ang loob nila sa akin dahil sa pagkawala ng kapatid ko"
"Can I know the reason why you are saying na ikaw ang dahilan ng pagkawala niya"
Natahimik siya. Siguro ay nagdadalawang isip siya to share it with me.
"Ah.. Never mind" I said
"Hindi ko siya nabantayan ng maayos no'ng minsang lumabas kami. He is playing a ball and suddenly nabitawan niya at gumulong sa kalsada. I didn't noticed him immediately running for the ball so............ " he stopped for a while. "the truck hit him"
"Hindi mo pa rin kasalanan" I said as I put down my hands again to his shoulders. "It was an accident".
"Thank you for believing that it's not my fault, but for me and my family, it's entirely because of my irresponsibility"
I pity him, really. What happened to his brother is surely torturing him right now.
"I'm sorry for asking details about the death of your brother. I know how hard it is for you"
"No....... I'm sorry for showing you how
crybaby I was"
Mahina akong tumawa. "Yeah... you really is a crybaby"
"Pero cute naman ako diba?"
"Buing ka! Saan banda?"
Tumawa na kaming pareho. Ilang sandali pa ay tumigil siya at tinitigan ako sa mukha.
"Wa-what?" naiilang kong sabi saka umiwas ng tingin. Our eyes just met and it flutters my heart. He then looked serious.
"Thank you for being with me today Kianna. You don't know how happy I am to be able to genuinely laugh with you".
Nginitian ko siya. I don't know what to say and perhaps it's the very best response I should give to him at the moment.
"I'm sorry" saad niya
"Huh? for what?"
"I can't hold on to what I said kanina that this will be the last time na guguluhin kita".
"huh?"
"No'ng nakasama kita today, I realized how good you are. My admiration to you grow even more. I really like you Kianna. Buo na ang loob ko-hindi kita susukuan"
Nakakabingi na ang tibok ng puso ko ngayon. Pakiwari ko ay nauubusan na ako ng mga sasabihin sa kanya. What I heard makes my heart skip a beat. Napalunok ako. Natutuyo na ang lalamunan ko because of his confession.
"Sean.."
"I will wait Kianna...3 years? 5 years? or even ten years... Basta maghintay ako"
Halos matunaw na ako sa mga titig niya ngayon.
"Sean...Pleaseee... Don't promise. At the end, mapapagod ka lang".
"No. I won't"
I'm speechless. I could really feel the sincerity on his voice.
Hinatid niya ako sa bahay pagkatapos naming manggaling sa memorial. I can still feel the fluttering of my heart kahit na kanina pa siya nakaalis.
I took a bath at bumaba na sa kusina para tulungan si Mommy sa paghahanda ng dinner.
"Anak kamusta naman ang lakad niyo ni Ylle" tanong ni Mommy as she take out the chopped chicken meat on the fridge. Nilagay niya ang karne sa maliit na planggana at nilubog sa tap water to defrost it.
"Ayos naman po Mommy, kaya lang ay sumakit ang tiyan niya kaya napaaga siya ng uwi" sagot ko saka kinuha ang sangkalan to chop the onion na gagamitin ni Mommy sa pagluluto.
Tumango si Mommy. "You and Sean hang out instead? walang anu-anong tanong ni Mommy.
"No... I mean... Sinamahan ko lang po siya dahil death anniversary ng kapatid niya ngayon
"Anak okay lang naman sa amin ng daddy mo na mag boyfriend ka, especially kung si Sean".
Napaubo ako. What the? Shiniship na din pala nila ako Kay Sean.
"Mommy hindi ko po siya boyfriend"
"We know. Pero alam din namin na gusto mo rin siya"
Natigilan ako dahil sa sinabi ni Mommy.
"Mom...."
"Anak kita kaya kilalang kilala kita. Don't hold back sa nararamdaman mo anak".
Napayuko nalang ako. Nahihiya ako kay Mommy. Tinapos ko agad ang ginagawa at nagpaalam na para umakyat sa kwarto ko.
At this time, I confirmed my feelings. Yes,
I do like him na rin pero paano ako aamin sa kanya? Hindi kaya ng pride ko, lalo na't may binitawan akong commitment for not falling for a guy while achieving my goal.
BINABASA MO ANG
Still You
RomanceFinance manager Kianna Gaiyel works for a well-known jewelry business in South Korea. Growing up, she only focused on her studies and her desire to recover all of her family's assets, particularly their property, which had been removed from the bank...
