𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ Minsung

Ch. 168

"Hey," Jisung called out, gaining the elders attention, "You know your Instagram account?"

"Mm." Minho lay on the grass with his eyes somewhat closed. He was aware the Jisung had been sitting beside him staring at him for a while now.

"You have a private Instagram, right?"

"Yeah, I only have about 20 followers on that one though." Minho laughed, "No.. 18. Jeong-Hoon and JinYoung have been kicked."

Jisung nodded, "Well.. could I be added to it?"

Minho opened his eyes, "I never thought about that. I forgot I even have Instagram—I haven't updated my account for months to be honest." He nodded though, "But yeah, I can add you. It might be a lot more boring than you bargained for however."

Jisung let himself smile, "Okay.. thank you."

Minho reached out and poked his the youngers stomach, "You've got me fucked up."

"Mm. My plan is all falling into place."

"Oh? This was you're master plan to get me to fall in love with you?"

Though it was all a joke Jisung stuttered on his answer, being thrown off by the 'in love' portion of that sentence. "Could you.. could you say that again?" He asked, shuffling forward a little bit more.

"Say what again..?" Minho kinked his eyebrows together with a somewhat concerned look on his face. He clearly wasn't conscious of what he had said only a few seconds earlier.

"You know.. what you just said."

"About your master plan?"

Jisung nodded and Minho only got all the more confused. He got up onto his elbows looking at Jisung's face as if to peice together a puzzle.

"Mhm."

"Why..?"

Jisung sighed, whining now, "C'mon Minho, say you're in love with me again—" he shook the elder slightly, urging him on.

Minho let his elbows collapse, amused, and he fell to the floor again, "Oh," he laughed, "Come here." He sat up, pulling Jisung to sit right in front of him.

Jisung stared at him with doe eyes, his mind spilling with anticipation. Sure they had said things similar to this buy it was never the true phrase. Either that or it was in writing.

This was different. It was real.

"How about I give you something better."

Jisung eagerly nodded. Anything was fine with him.

Minho, upon looking into Jisung's eyes suddenly got very nervous. He swallowed hard and leaned in close to his ear. He had to avoid eye contact or he simply wasn't able to express how he felt.

"I love you Sungie." He said softly, the words rolling off his tongue like they had been fighting to leave his mouth for years. With his hands on the youngers waist he felt him shutter underneath the words.

Jisung nodded, carefully placing his shaking hand onto Minho's hip and the other on his thigh. "I love you too.. Minnie."

The name struck Minho in the chest like a knife and suddenly, though all of the intense emotion festering in his body turned cold like ice. It almost felt like the words lost meaning. He pulled away, avoiding Jisung's eyes.

He simply nodded and moved his body away as if to put a wall in between them. That stupid name had just ruined one of the best moments of his life.

"Minho?" Jisung asked. He wasn't so dumb as to not notice the elders change in demeanor, "Did I say something wrong? Was I not supposed to say it back?"

Not only was the name a bullet to his chest, but as soon as Jisung said those three words he got scared. So scared. It was like he had only now just realized that with this statement he was devoting himself to the younger.

What if he left? What if he saw Minho as weak or vulnerable now? It was the perfect time to take advantage of him and they both new it. He was supposed to trust Jisung with his life, so why was he all of a sudden so scared to open up about his feelings?

It's not like they were a secret.

"Minho?" Jisung asked again, "What happened? I'm sorry—"

Mimho shook his head while the lump in his throat only grew. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry—I'm scared."

"Scared? Why are you scared?" Jisung reached out again, a hand placed on Minho's cheek, "Is it because it's dark outside?"

Minho shook his head. If he spoke now he would only cry harder. "I—" his voice cracked into hundreds of tiny pieces, "I'm scared of you.."

Jisung pulled his hand away, "What?" His voice came off as weak and tiny, barely making it to Minho's ears.

"No, not like that—" the tears started to split onto his cheeks, "I love you but I don't know if I can, I don't know, if I can do love?"

It was terrifying to think that he was so connected to Jisung. There's was no going back anymore and if something were to happen to their relationship.. it would break him.

Just because the big bad problem had been solved didn't mean that Minho was a whole new person. He still didn't know how to love and his childhood had still been a shit show.

"You're scared to love me?" Jisung whispered. A shot of guilt closed up Minho's throat at how hurt Jisung had sounded. "But you.. you just asked me to be your boyfriend.."

"And I want you to be—God don't leave me Jisung—" he cried out even though the younger had made no attempt to walk away, let alone get up. He reached out and grabbed at Jisung's torso, pulling him into the second hug of the day.

"I'm not leaving.." Jisung said weakly. In this scenario Jisung was the strong one and Minho was the damsel in distress.

Jisung knew that Minho's fear of vulnerability and trust issues wouldn't be solved overnight, but he still was happy that the elder told Jisung how he felt.

"I want to love you, and I do, trust me... I'm just scared that for whatever reason.." he trailed off. This was a mess and he was embarrassed, yet he wasn't about to loosen his grip on the younger.

"I might leave you..?"

Minho didn't respond, burying his face deeper into Jisung's nape.

"I'm not going to leave you." Jisung assured, but that wasn't Minho's real concern. Just to be sure he respected it again, more softly

"I'mnot going to leave you.."