𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀𝐧 𝐈𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ Minsung

Ch. 178

When Minho started to step away, suddenly Jisung bolted to a seated position, grabbing into Minho's arm, "No, wait—please don't leave me," tears brimmed his eyes, "I promise to be a good boy—"

He was scared that maybe Minho hadn't enjoyed it, or that he had done something wrong. He didn't want the elder to abandon him.

Minho smiled, bending down and pecking his lips. "I have no doubt that you will. I'm only going to get a warm cloth to clean you up okay? I'll be right in the bathroom where you can see me."

Jisung loosened his grip and Minho walked away again. He watched as he got out a cloth and ran it under the water, then squeezing out the extra, and finally walking back to Jisung.

He quickly wiped the mess off his own stomach before bending down a gently wiping off Jisung. He made sure to get what was also leaking out onto his thigh.

"Minnie?" Jisung asked timidly, doe eyes wide. Minho noted the nickname. "Can we have a shower.. together?"

Minho smiled, "Of course baby.. only because you did so good."

Jisung let a sleepy smile tug at his lips. This must have been what Hyunjin meant by aftercare. He'd make sure to fall asleep cuddling Jisung for sure.

"Are you okay to stand?" Minho asked. In stead of responding Jisung simply stood up and hobbled off to the open bathroom door. He was walking funny, but Minho found it adorable.

"Hurry up," Jisung called from the bathroom. Minho stood up and made his way over, closing and locking the door behind them—who knows, Chan might randomly show up again.

He gave a peck to Jisung's head and turned to start the shower. When Jisung approved the temperature Minho helped him into the shower, holding his hand all the way.

By the time Minho had stepped in the younger was already seated on the shower floor letting the water run over his tired face. The elder got in behind him with one leg on either side so that Jisung could lean his torso up against him to rest.

"Did I do good for my first time?" Jisung asked, "You can be honest."

Minho smiled, "You did so perfect. Did you like it, munchkin?"

Jisung nodded, "I really liked it.. kinda hurt though.."

Minho played with the youngers now wet hair, "Thats to be expected. It won't hurt as much next time."

Next time.

Jisung made a goofy smile, "I liked when you called me puppy.." he tilted his head up to look at the elder, who was already looking up at him.

"Well I liked when you called me daddy." Minho teased, pinching Jisung's cheek ever so slightly.

He expected the younger to blush, or give some type of reaction, but instead he was staring at something. Minho followed his eyes down to his own wrist...

Oh God 

He quickly took his arm away and hid it where Jisung couldn't see, hoping that through the water Jisung maybe hadn't seen. It was no use though. Jisung reached over and ever so gently pulled Minho's arm back, running his finger tips over the scars.

Jisung felt a pang of guilt. How had he not realized this sooner. Through having sex he was too distracted to even look at Minho's arm, scabbed and scared with self harm wounds..

"Minnie.." Jisung said quietly, hugging the arm to his chest. For the second time that day Minho let tears start to flow, this time being washed away by the shower stream.

"It's nothing Jisung," he attempted, but when he tried to take him arm away Jisung only held it tighter.

"I'm sorry Minnie.." his voice cracked, "I didn't... I never.. I love you so much.."

"I love you too.." Minho whispered, the words maybe not even reaching Jisung's ears. He averted his eyes from the younger boy, scolding himself for being so careless—but at the same time, it was such a relief.

"You're so perfect MinMin.. why would you do this..?" Jisung asked, turning around in the shower to face the elder. He still kept his arm in a gentle grasp.

Minho felt butterflies from the nickname, but had to push them aside. He stared down at the scars on his arm. "I.. hurt you.."

"You hurt me? So you hurt yourself? Minho that's stupid—all you've ever done is help me. Without you to be here by my side I would have killed myself by now—"

"Don't say that." Minho's lip quivered.

"It's true though, without you I'm lost.. without you I'm... I'm nothing.." Jisung whispered, the shower nearly drowning out the sound.

"Don't put your self worth within me Jisung, you mean everything. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Jisung, you're the person that I want to marry and live with and have children with and watch cheesy romcoms 23 times over with—you mean the world to me and that's not a joke.." Minho couldn't help the waiver in his voice, "I'm sorry I hurt myself but your so perfect.. and I hurt you."

Jisung shook his head again, "No, if anything I hurt you. For the longest time I rejected your feelings and—"

"Only because you believed I was bad for you, which face it Jisung, I am bad for you."

"So do you want me to leave or something?" The room fell quiet, "If your so bad for me.."

Minho shook his head, "No.. I'd die if you left me.. for real. I know it's selfish but I want you with me forever."

Jisung sniffed, "I want to be yours forever too. But if that's gonna happen you can't keep blaming yourself for the past, and you can't keep pretending to be okay."

"I don't —"

"Yes you do. You're allowed to be weak Minho.. you're allowed to let me be the strong one. Just because you hurt me before is no reason to punish yourself like this now."

Minho averted his eyes, guilty.

"I love you.. don't leave me Minnie.."

"Okay.. I won't leave."