twenty-seven: safe and sound
DECEMBER CAME IN SO FAST. Demi recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy, she named him Samuel. No one knows why except her. She and her boyfriend decided to continue college before getting married for Samuel which we all agreed.
Jed and I? We decided to invest in a house together sa Taguig, near the beach. Well, mahihiwalay nga lang kami sa mga kaibigan namin pero they understand.
Wala pa rin kaming balita kay Snow, the year is about to end and now Gia is nowhere to be found. After ng sleep over namin kila Aster, may sumunod na party ilang araw lang ang nakalipas at bigla na lang siyang nawala. Sage was nowhere too. I am worried for them.
Gia tends to run away a lot, it was her defense mechanism. And sometimes, it turns out to be one of her worst decisions.
"What are you thinking?" Napatingin ako kay Jed. We're in our bed, just cuddling after making love.
"Just thinking about Gia." He caressed my hair.
"Wherever she is, she's okay. Sage will always find her, don't worry." I sighed.
"I just can't help it. Snow is gone and so does Gia, the worst is no one knows where they are and how their life is right now. It must've been hard for Aster and Carina to be away from their best friends." Just thinking about Aiane running away too makes me sad and lost. Life would be so hard without her, how much more for Aster who lived her life beside Gia, and for Carina who found herself in Snow.
"You worry too much, well, in a good way." I smiled.
"They're my friends, of course, I worry about them." He nodded.
"Do you know why I always put you first? Because you never prioritized yourself. It will always be others before you. You're so selfless, so I am selfless too, for you." Napangiti ako. He's literally the sweetest guy, I swear.
"Stop," Umiling siya.
"I won't." Inirapan ko siya bago sinandal ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya. I can hear his heartbeat, it was fast.
"Why is your heart beating so fast?"
"It has always been like that when you're around." Natawa ako sa sinabi niya.
I've been better than I ever was. I'm out of my anti-depressants. And I've been 8 months clean. It was nice.
I hope others can feel what I feel right now. The contentment. You just wake up and feel alive. And every night you sleep, you won't stare at the ceiling and question what is happening to your life.
I still go to my therapist and share stories. She said it was nice that I can open up Jed and I's moments to her knowing she's his mother. She told me Jed never opened up about his relationships with her, but he did when she asked about me. I felt validated.
We fell asleep in each other's arms. Until I was awoken by the continuous vibration of Jed's phone. I took it and got out of his arms to read the texts.
He allows me to read his texts most of the time. I know he does this to gain my trust.
Napatulala ako nang makita ang sender ng messages.
From: Aleia
i cant keep quiet, jed. no, i cant. i like you, I LOVE YOU.From: Aleia
is she that better than me? IS SHE?From: Aleia
I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR 10 YEARS, JED. 10 YEARS. TEN FUCKING YEARSFrom: Aleia
and you just turned your back on me when she came.From: Aleia
tell me, was it worth it.From: Aleia
i just wished you were sober when you told me you liked me. i know you are, i just know.
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