The Curse

The Day Before

I slowly open my eyes. I do not see anything. As always. I was born blind and I'll be forever will be. I am such a fool thinking that someday I can wake up one morning and be able to see.

Specifically, yesterday.

Napansin ko na may nakakumot sa akin. I take a hold of it, it seems like a cape. My knees and head are already medicated with some sort of leaves. Sinong naglagay nito sa akin? Did those people who run after my life already caught me? Why do they medicated me? They should kill me right?

I observed on my surroundings. The birds are chirping, the wind was slamming on the branches of trees making a eerily sound. It was lonely. It was deafeningly quiet. Wala na ang mga sigaw ng mga taong humahabol sa akin. Wala na. Ligtas na ba ako?
But all I am sure is I am in the forest. Where I run last night for my life.

Last night.

The nightmare. The tragedy I wanted to erase.

I breath deeply. And tried to sit up. Thoughts of everything that happen the day before is slowly flashing onto my mind. I cried. Why this happen to me? To us? I've only wanted to help. That is my only intention. If only...

***

"Happy Birthday my lovely Chantea!" My mom greet me happily. "Thank you, mom" I answered. I've now celebrating my 18th birthday. Time really flew so fast.

"Blow the candle now, baby. But before that make a wish". My mom tell me.

Wish. A word that serves as my only hope to cure this curse. But that hope is slowly fading now. I'm getting tired. Nakakapagod laging umasa. Masakit.

"I do not want to make a w-- wish, mom" I said. Hindi ko namalayang pumapatak na ang aking luha. Ayoko na. Pagod nako. Alam ko naman wala nang pag asa eh. Bulag nako simula bata pa and I can't go to any doctor for a reason. "I'm so useless. Even cooking my own food was too hard for me, I-- I even don't know your face", I cried. I feel sorry for Mom. I am a curse in her life.

"Chantea, I'm sorry" my mother raspily whispered. I know she is crying too. "I know its always been too hard for you, I can't do anything to ease the pain." She hold my cheeks, "All I can do is to be always here for you", she put her forehead on mine, "Always remember my lovely, I love you", she added.

But I do not want that. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to see my own reflection. I wanted to see her. My mom. I want to see her face. I sobbed. I wanted to be special. I want to be a best someone. I want to be worthy. I put my palm to cover my face. All of my insecurities are battling in my mind. My emotions are bursting. Hindi ko na kayang kimkimin.

"Why?Why do I need to be like this?", I voiced out. "I want to be special to make you proud of me. I want to be helpful. I wanted to...I wanted to be great. But this...", I pointed on my eyes. "Its frustating". I wailed.

"No,Chantea, No", my mom answered while calming me down by hugging me and patting my back. "You are special Your life is already special, my lovely. You are a big help, you are my greatest gift." She cut the hug and hold my hand, "You just need to learn to love yourself, if you do, you found out that you are already special."

Pagkatapos sabihin ni mom ang lahat nang iyon. I cried loudly like a kid. I hugged her, kissed her cheeks, and whispered sorry. I forgot that if I'm hurt, it will also hurt my mom two times or even more. I'm her only strength and weakness and she is also to mine.

My mom broke the hug and wipe my tears. I heard a sound of matchstick being lighted. Seems like mom lighted again the birthday candle.

"Make a wish now, my lovely. Always be strong and hopeful, it is you". I tried to smile. I will wish now. Again. My Only one wish. I wish-- I wish to see again.

...

Umuulan.

Ang bawat patak ng ulan ay naririnig sa loob ng bahay. I smiled. What a way of comfort. I thought.

Rain is my favorite season. My favorite moment. Sa bawat patak ng ulan na tumatama sa mga bagay ay nagpapakalma sa akin. It makes me feel that I can see the world.

Binuksan ko ang bintana at nilahad ang aking kamay. I felt the dripping water on my palm. It felt nice. I laughed like a kid. Maybe I should go outside?

With that thought, I ran to mom in the kitchen. "Mom, can I go outside?" I asked permission while crossing my fingers on my back. "Hmm...sure, But! Just be careful, Don't go far away Chantea" mom answered.

I felt excited. I ran hurriedly making my way outside. Nabangga ko pa ang isang upuan. "Ano ba naman kang bata, wag kang magmadali--" last statement of mom I heared as soon I closed the door.

I laughed excitedly. I take my first step outside, the rain is pouring hard. Eventually, I started to run out the field.

I take my hands and head up catching the raindrops. I take small circles. The wind is also slightly blowing my dress. It is comforting. It is a best gift I had on my birthday.

I lay on the grass, smiling. I am soaking wet but it makes me happy. While the rain drops on my body, "Maybe my wish will come true now", I thought. I slightly smiled.

The moment is interrupted as something hit my leg. What is this? Inabot ko kung anong bagay iyon and it was a ball. A ball?

Suddenly, I heard a small, faint voice. What is that? My curiosity kills me and automatically I've started to find that voice. I walked and walked.

"Help me, pl-- please" A voice is heard much clearer.

I dropped the ball in surprise. It was a voice of a kid. It was asking for help. Without any thought, I stride to find the child. Up until, I fall over.
I heared a faint breathing. It is the kid!

"Hey" I said while tapping the child's body. "I--It h--hurts" the child voice out." My h-- head" the child added.

Kinapa ko kung nasaan ang ulo niya and I felt some thick liquid in there. Its a blood!

Oh no.

"He--help m--me" the child said as I felt small hands over mine.

I should do something. I should help. I should. But I wish...I wish I didn't.