The Curse

Beneath the Mask

"Eat, Chantea. You want a salad? Or a chicken? Bakit hindi mo masyadong ginagalaw pagkain mo? Ayaw mo ba? What do you want to eat at ipapaluto ko."

I was here at Lythia's abode, having lunch. I was invited by Madame Trisha for a bonding and to make me and Lythia met as cousins. After, Lythia and Hesper met the portrait of mom, nag imbita sila na magsama- sama para sa tanghalian.

Sa totoo lang ayaw kong sumama dito, pero napilitan ako dahil sa pagtulak sa akin ni Grandma dahil hindi sila makakasama.

I flashed a slight smile. I know that it seems awkward.

Naibagsak ni Lythia ang kanyang kutsara at si Hesper ay dali-daling kinuha ang baso para uminom dahil nasamid. Kanina pa sila patagilid kung tumingin at nakikiramdam. At ngayon ay parang hindi na nakatiis at nakaya ang nakikita nila ngayon.

Hesper looked at me. He was stifling his laugh. I rolled my eyes at him. I look at Madame-- I mean Tita Trisha.

I laughed awkwardly. "Hindi na po, madame. Masarap naman po ang pagkain", subo ko ng isang hiwa ng karne.

"Madame? I already tell you to call me Tita!", reklamo niya.

"Did you have a bad feeling about me? Are you getting tampo with me because of those bad attitude I've shown to you before?", she sniffed. "Did you not fully forgive me?", she started getting teary-eyed.

I panicked. I shook my head to deny her statement. "N-no! It doesn't mean like that! Awkward lang kasi", I lowered my voice on the last sentence. Hindi pa ako sanay.

"Ma!", at last Lythia spoke. "Wag kang ganyan lalong maiilang si Chantea", malumanay na pagpigil ni Lythia sa kanyang ina. Kaya ang huli ay maarteng pinunasan ang kakarampot na luha na hindi man lang lubusang nahulog sa mata niya.

"Okay", she smiled at me. "I was just joking awhile ago. Sorry my niece", and she giggled. "Let's continue eating", ani niya at iminuwestra ang kanyang kamay sa hapag-kainan.

I smiled at her and continue eating. The lunch continue without those remarks but Q & A portion are next to happened.

To shake off a bit the awkwardness after that moment, we started to talk about things about our own lives, I mean the talk is all about my life and mom.

Tita Trisha continuously asked about her. What did she doing before, her work, our livelihood and other similar questions that I can't remember. And so, I gladly answered all of it and give a little narration to the life me and mom had.

She probably be missing his sister that gone in two decades. The only thing that I can help to suppress her longing for a sister is to just tell a story about mom. How great and kind she is.

It was happy to reminisce the good past about mom but it was quickly vanished.

Tita Trisha started to ask questions that is relating to that tragic night. Why I am an orphan and where is mom now and, why am I leaving with strangers, making Hesper look at me in shock. Hindi ko nasabi sa kanya na hindi talaga kami magkamag anak nila Grandma. Na hindi talaga kami maglola at kinupkop lang nila ako nang nakita nila akong nag iisa sa tabi ng ilog nung araw na iyon.

But all I just answer is that mom and I got apart in the forest. Hindi ko sinabi na posibleng wala na siya at ang trahedyang kinasangkutan ko. I don't want to share the misery I've felt that day to them, lalo pa na matagal na hindi nakita at nakasama ni Tita Trisha si mama.

Imagine knowing that your loved one that you missing for years might be gone right now. It is truly heartbreaking.

I know that it is a selfish act to not let them know what happened truly with mom but I just can't motivate myself to open my mouth. I am guilty, beyond guilty to what I've done. That I left mom so that I can save myself. I lowered my head on that moment as I've felt my eyes starting to water.