Requested by @IDrinkAcidForFun this is your fourth request.
Warning: mentions of suicide/attempts, angst.
There was no reason Grant could see that he should keep going. Keep moving, keep living, keep breathing, keep thinking. He thought of himself often as a waste of space and air, a disappointment to anyone who had ever looked at him, someone who shouldn't be alive or even have the right to live. That was just his opinion though.
He was a lonely man, no friends, and no family. He had parents but...they hated him, and made it very clear. Why would anyone like him anyways? Nobody did, so he had reassured himself nobody ever would. Once a week he would go to the grocery store for essential things to live, and always went to the register nearest the door so he could leave quicker. Well, thats why he told himself that was the one he always went to.
It certainly wasn't because an adorable Irish man worked at that register, not the real reason at all. The man, named Shawn as Grant had read on his name tag, was always quite cheerful and very kind, and for some reason seemed to enjoy talking to him. Grant thought for sure he was just pretending to be nice, it was part of the job after all.
It was the time of the week again where he went to the store, and Shawn smiled when he saw Grant. "Hiya, Grant! How are you doing?" He asked, smiling wider when he noticed Grant's face grow pink (as it always did whenever he talked to Shawn.)
"Fine. How are you?" Grant answered, not making eye contact. He always tried his best to sound normal as possible around Shawn, even though inside his brain was a scattered mess, and his life was pretty much in shambles.
"Bored, I'm at work," Shawn said with a shrug. "I like talkin' ta you though." He added, grinning wider when he saw Grant's face flush. The two chatted for a few minutes until the lady behind Grant in line cleared her throat and glared at them, her tiny purse dog growling. Grant gave an annoyed look to her.
"Better get going then, I'll see you later." Grant said, turning to leave.
"Wait!" Shawn called after him. He turned around to look curiously at the shorter male. "Here." Shawn held out a folded up piece of paper. "In case you ever feel like hanging out or whatever, just say hi."
Grant tilted his head in curiosity, gently taking the paper from the Irish man's outstretched hand. Their fingers brushed together and Grant couldn't help thinking Shawn's skin felt soft. "Hurry it up!" The lady behind him growled, making Grant glare at her.
"Okay...well I'll see you later then." Grant said, smiling lightly. Shawn started to wave but the lady slammed her groceries down, distracting him.
Grant got home and unfolded the piece of paper. It had a string of numbers on it. It must've been Shawn's phone number by the look of it. Grant's heart gave a little leap as he looked at it, a smile working it's way on his face. Maybe Shawn did like him, at least enough to want to befriend him. It was a nice thought.
When Grant got home, he decided to wait until he was sure Shawn would be done working, then shot him a text, feeling awkward and nervous.
Hi. This is Grant by the way.>
Grant started to put his phone down, not expecting an answer at all, or at least not for a while. But his phone buzzed before he could put it down, and he fumbled with it, reading what Shawn had replied with.
<Hello! This is Shawn. I gave you my number cuz I wanted
toknow if you wanted to maybe hang out and get to know each
other? Like become friends cuz I think you're a really nice gay and
I wanted to get to know you better.
<Sorry *guy*
Grant stared in disbelief at his phone screen, wondering why on earth of all people, Shawn wanted to become friends with him? He wasn't objecting to it of course, but he was definitely questioning Shawn's taste in people.
