We'll meet again Neferpitou x OC

Casefile 5

(That video is me when I'm writing(The pictures of my cat))

"Come on, at this rate I'll die of old age before we're 1/3 of the way done" I told the guys who were "torturing" me. They had my right arm both handcuffed and tied with rope. "I say we make a list of how to best get information out of me. Number one-" I was stopped when one of the guys punched me.
"As I was saying, number one shouldn't be punching be we know that doesn't work"

"Can someone please, shut him up his voice is giving me a headache" Moriarty yelled rubbing his temples.

"I only came here to ask you to stop sell drugs behind my house" I explained actually telling the truth. "I have this cat and the smell is hurting her nose"

"You" Professor Moriarty used his wires to turn one of the background thugs around to face him. "I told you to start going through this idiot's things" He started raising his voice at the goon number 3.

"Y-Yes sir" The guy started rooting around through my coat.

The douche bag who was punching me punched me again.
"Let's play a game every time you hit me I'll hit you harder than you hit me harder than I hit you and the first one to pass out loses, ok go!" I said in an upbeat tone before kicking him in the balls because they hadn't tied down my legs.
"All right, now take this idiot away and get me someone who knows what I like when it comes to BDSM- I mean torture" I demanded stomping my foot.

"You, over there" He asked one of the other guys. When he got the other guy's attention used as thumb to point at me.

"Why am I here? If you tell me I'll help you" I used Half-Past Wicked to get my information.

Before one of them could tell me the guy looking through my stuff said. "Hey boss this guy 's loaded"

"Good to hear" The not so big boss replied. "I have an idea" He evilly wrung his hands.

"Let me guess? You'll try and ransom me?" I explained his unoriginal plan. "I've done this whole song and dance a million times, just give me a phone and I'll dial my number"

After I dialled my home phone someone picked up. There was a little bit of inaudible bickering on the other side of the line before we heard. "Orangutang noises"

"We have your... wait what?" The one with the phone asked very confused.

"Give it here" I held out my now free hand. The guy handed me the phone and said. "Dirk, it happened again, could you get the 'In Case I Get Kidnapped Again Fund' from my closet?" I asked. 'The "fund" is actually just a list of things to do if I get kidnapped, but... they don't know that'

"Orangutang noises" Dirk confirmed.

"And how much do you want?" I asked tapping my foot.

"2.5 million" Moriarty proclaimed confidently.

"You heard him" Dirk confirmed the plan. "Yep" I replied before hanging up.
I told the hostage-takers. "He'll send someone to drop it off" I explained while using Abracadabra to hide that I was sending Dirk my location. "Are you guys new to this?" I said in an annoyed tone because of their lack of professionalism.

"Someone tie him back up" Moriarty ordered.

"There are no earthly objects that can tie me down for good, I mean besides a ring" I joked. (Grabs krotch *honk honk*) No one laughed. "Fuck you" I spit out some blood to emphasize my words. 'Dear god why does losing this arm hurt so much more the second time!?'

"Can we tape over his mouth?" Someone who didn't laugh at my joke asked.

"Please" Moriarty replied rubbing his eye.