Finding Carla

Chapter 14 - Acceptance

Her

     The twins' birthday was a success. Both adults and kids alike had fun. Even the adults had their own games and it was a blast. Alecx knows how to throw a party. The kids loved the magic show, the pirate and princess characters who graced the event, and of course, the take home goody bags.

     Paul and Cassie also came by like what Tita Maggie said. They were a perfect pair. Cassie was so down to earth even though I learned that she's the CEO of Millennium Company. I had fun chatting with her. We exchanged stories of life abroad. Soon, they also said goodbye as they have another engagement to attend.

     By the end of the party, while we were still outside in the garden doing non stop chit chat, Avery and Taylor fell asleep on their dad and mom's laps. The twins were exhausted. I smiled upon seeing those serene, sweet faces.

     I wonder if I'll have my own kids in the future. I'm not getting any younger. But I know I must find my Mr. Right first. The first image that came to my mind was Santi. Even though he left several months ago, he continued to haunt me. I shook my head hard. I should not be thinking about him. For Pete's sake, he's my cousin!

     I remembered being harsh on him the last time we saw each other in the coffee shop. I kept my game face then, trying not to be swayed by his words and calm demeanor. When he said my father was sick, I acted tough and did not give in. Pain and pride took over me.

     I knew he was just the messenger, but I was too hard on him. Probably that's why I couldn't shake him out of my system because of the guilt I'm carrying. But my inner self countered, "Yeah, convince yourself that's the only reason why you still think about him."

     I shook my head again. I couldn't believe I'm having an argument with my inner self! This feeling is insane! I imagined his sad face again the last time I saw him. He said it was not goodbye yet for both of us. I wondered if we would ever cross paths again.

     "A penny for your thoughts?" I suddenly heard Alecx's voice. Avery was cradled in her arms and Taylor was with Tristan. We were just finishing our wine.

    "Oh, did I look like I'm zoning out?" I grinned.

     "I think she's already tired, Babe. She had a long trip and I bet she hasn't had a decent sleep." Tristan chuckled.

     "Okay, why don't we call it a night. Let's go up so you can rest and sleep. We'll just put these kiddos to bed then I'll be right with you. I'll bring you some fresh towels and toiletries." Alecx said.

     I bid Tita Maggie goodnight who's also staying in the mansion over the weekend to spend time with her grandchildren. All of us headed inside and I couldn't help but be amazed at the wide array of paintings around the house. I felt like I was in an art gallery. The last time I was here, the walls were still bare.

     As soon as I entered the guest room, my eyes caught a painting hanging on the wall across the bed. It was a girl in a swing and there was a man behind her in the act of pushing the swing. One could tell that it was a father and daughter moment.

     "Did you like the painting?" Alecx suddenly spoke out of nowhere. She was standing behind me. I didn't even notice that she was already inside the room as I was so engrossed at the painting.

     "Did you notice that it's like your paintings back home in New York? You like to capture simple moments like this and make it so alive. Do you know who made that painting?" Alecx continued.

     My heart was suddenly beating fast. I looked at the initials on the lower right of the painting and saw "AR." I already know what it stands for, Amir Ramirez.

     "That's your dad's painting, Carla. We visited his gallery one time and I was amazed at all his paintings. He reminded me of you. He does people watching and that's how he gets his inspiration. Mama Gloria, Tristan's mom, has a collection of his paintings."

     "We came back the next week because I wanted to meet and commission him to do a painting for the twins. However, his gallery manager stated that he had already stopped painting. He's very sick, Carla. He already went back to their hacienda in the south to be with his family."

     I was still staring at the picture unmoved while listening to Alecx who was still behind me. I had a gut wrenching feeling inside me.

     "Bes, I think it's about time you see him. It has been several months and by now, I hope you will let your guard down." She sighed sadly.

     I turned around to face her. Tears are welling in my eyes. I feel so vulnerable at this moment. She was holding an envelope in her right hand and she gave it to me. I opened it and saw a plane ticket to the south. There was also a small piece of paper with the address of Hacienda Ramirez written on it. I looked at her with questioning eyes.

    "Go see your Dad, Car. Don't be stubborn. He needs you. It's time to let go. Get rid of all that pride and hatred in your heart. Once you do it, you'll finally find peace in your heart. Whatever heavy feeling you have inside, all of those will melt away the moment you accept the fact that he's your father. You can't run away from the truth. He wants to spend his last days with you. Be there for him. You're a kind soul, Bes. It's not hard to forgive."

     I was overwhelmed with emotions. Seeing my dad's painting made me realize one thing.... I am my father's daughter. My chest suddenly got heavy. I was not able to hold my tears any longer. Alecx hugged me tight and I cried my heart out. She kept silent all throughout. She knows me; the more she tries to console me, the more that I will not be able to control myself and continue crying.

     As soon as I calmed down, Alecx looked at me and wiped the tears off my face.

     "Are you done? Do you feel better?" I nodded.

     "Now, you need to get it together, okay?" She said to me.

     "I can't, Alecx."

     "You can. We've let you go on like this for several months. It's time to face him now."

     "I'm scared. I'm scared to face him, Bes."

     "What's the matter with you? What are you scared of? He wants to see you. Remember, he even sent Santi to look for you."

     "Can you come with me?" I asked her softly.

     "No. You need to do it alone, Carla. Put your big panties on and go see your dad, okay? Your flight is in two days. I'll bring you to the airport and I already arranged your rental car when you arrive there."

     "You really planned it, huh?" I asked her while sniffing. I still have aftershocks from my meltdown a while ago. She nodded and smiled at me.

     "Thank you Alecx. Thanks for doing this." I said sincerely.

     "Anything for you, Bes." She smiled and hugged me tight. I am so lucky to have a best friend like Alecx.