Count down to the dream

when reality hits hard

Slowly I get adjusted to the light. There are many men around me. Someone is requesting to respond, it's still not fair. Focusing enough, it turns clear. "you okay? Can you pick me up?" I replied. "Do you know who we are?" I stare around. I realize them but still, cause awful. While concentrating, I can recall everybody. I greeted. "Could you speak" I hand over a clumsy yes "You made us worried 'paapa'". When I heard that name I felt what I missed deep down in my heart. My brothers. "oppa I'm hungry," I looked at ha-Jun oppa with toe eye. he enquired doctor which food I can have. Most favored are fruits and veggies, but I carved from meat. I pouted and pleaded for a burger and of course got a big no in return. It's been 3 weeks since I got admitted. A lot of portions are pending cover. In the evening Arine came to see me, and we chatted a lot, she told me that she already shared the note I prepared for one month beforehand with students and reference details and they're using those notes on my period to study, I'm so content to hear that. Students inquired about me to Arine on her way to the hospital. They are missing me so much she chuckled while saying that. She was so concerned about me all these days and I am so happy with that, but one and the only thing that bothers me is why Seong keeps silent till today. He didn't talk to me. Did I do anything wrong? "Babe, you're not listening to me." She interrupted. I laughed nervously and asked her if I missed anything these days because Seong does not seem to be happy. She held silent and said why I'm bothering others while she was here with me. That's not the answer I wanted, but I laughed and hummed. She is possessive. The doctor acknowledged that I have to take bed rest for days and can leave the hospital. And can get back to work. At night Arine went back to her home and Dal oppa and Jun oppa is staying with me. It is so nice to see them, I missed them a lot. Seong just came inside and placed the food, went out saying nothing. I thought he wasn't in the mood to talk. Dal oppa helped me to have food. I told them I can have it myself, but they insist. Well, I'm the only sister to them, so they pamper me a lot. Byung ho oppa bought some books to read. We both have the same nature and there is one secret: we share the same date of birth. That's absolutely cool, right? I didn't expect that we would have the same taste. We share the same soul with a different body, but I'm a little more tempered compared to him. That's it.

We talked a lot about the concert, their new MV practices, fan signing events a lot more. They're trying hard to make me laugh and forget the pain. I knew that they were trying really hard, but hesitate to talk about the incident that happened to me. Why? is that suspicious? Suddenly I felt a pain in my tummy. I curled to the ball may be my period, need to confirm now. they both got tensed by my sudden change. "what happened paapa? you alright? Just wait, we will call the doctor." "no no need for that. Could you pass my phone?" "doctor restricted phone for you. All you need is rest. Wait, we will call the doctor." I hold dal oppa's hand. "I think I'm in near to my period date. Just pass my phone. I need to check my period tracker" when it comes to periods, they can't deny so passed my phone, I already passed my periods day so of course, it is my period cramps. "oppa could you buy a sanitary pad for me? I'm over date!" they nodded. Dal oppa left to buy a pad and Byung oppa stayed with me. "is it aching paapa?" I hummed. "oppa I want to ask for something!" he nodded. "what's happening to Seong. he is not talking to me. Not even trying to make eye contact. Did I do anything wrong? I can't hold it like this. Tell me whatever it is!"

"Nothing, he is doing good." "Then why is he not talking to me? Call him. I wanna talk to him now." "no paapa, he must be tired, we can call him tomorrow" I refused, now or never I usually follow that path. I talked about nothing else laid down. Dal oppa came back after some time. I grabbed the pad and, went to change, then got back doesn't utter anything. They may be confused by my actions. At night, a nurse came to the room for my medication and I refused to have it. They tried a lot to make me have it but I threw the medicines. This is the only way to show my anger. Usually, when I'm angry, I used to go to the gym. Now I can't, so I use something else to show my temper. It's midnight now, and my cramps getting worse, curled to circle and hide my face inside the blanket. Wish to have something spicy. Normally girls like to have sweet food, I'm different from them, I prefer spicy food. Feel like sleep is far from me but I can't walk because of this IV. The only way to forget about pain is by scrolling on the phone and listening to music. I took the phone and put on a song. It is relief while checking mail that, realized there is so much work pending. Mailed my drafts and Data that I prepared beforehand. I usually draft the thing prior to ease my work. So there will be no delays in my work. I hate to be late for my work so I will try hard to turn it in on time. That's why I drafted work prior to next month. Don't know when I fall asleep. Woke up by hearing some noise around me. All are assembled here, including Seong and Arine. giving no glance went straight to the bathroom and came out. They're still looking at me. "Arine, ask the doctor to go through a discharge procedure. I need to get out of this hell as soon as possible." She passed a sharp glare while grinding her teeth and was about to say something, but I cut off. "If you're not gonna tell him, I can use my own ways." "Paapa, you cannot get out that easily. What if you get infected? You already skipped medicine please try to understand the situation." that was Ha-Jun oppa. "I hate to be here. It is uncomfortable. I wanna go home. I'm sure I won't get attacked again when I'm there." Seong suddenly went out, not saying anything. This shit makes me angry!! I refused medicine and food until the doctor agreed to take discharge. But in one strict condition, I have to stay with my brothers. First, I refused, but at last, I agreed with them. Arine got my dress from the apartment and went to their house with Ho sook oppa and Ha Jun oppa to arrange my room. There is no need to go there. I can handle myself, but what can I do? If I don't agree with that, then there is no way to get back home.