Count down to the dream

Sorry...

When we got back after the fight, I realized how much I was falling for her again and again. If there was someone else instead of her, will not forgive me, but the love and care we shared with each other will keep us together. My love, my life, whatever happened, we are not gonna stay apart. Now I realize how lucky I am. "Yyahh Seong!! How many times have I am calling you? Where the hell you're zoning out?" I snapped back to reality after hearing hyung's sound. The members are in the room. "You're discharging today, before that. Let's have a talk" I nodded to him. "What exactly happened that night? Why the hell was that guy again attacking her? Why didn't she see you? With whom you're dating in behind Paapa? We want answers. If you won't answer, then we will cut the tie between us with no regrets!!"

"Hyung, I'm not dating anyone else over her. She is the one I am gonna spend my life with till my last breath. Why are you accusing me of that? Do you think I will do like that?!!" "We won't doubt Paapa, she texted me that evening about this. She overheard your talk about telling you to spend time with some other girl at the party and Paapa was no match for you too," "Sookiya, don't dare to lie in front of me, I don't wanna spend time with anyone and my Paapa is the best for me, no one can replace her. And when I talk about other girls, I only spend time with you guys, to whom will I... Wait, does she overhear the talk we shared at the last party? I talked about Reyna, not someone else.." I really fucked up. "What should I do? I wished to spend time with Reyna to tell Paapa how similar they're not because I fall out of love." "It's okay, hyung, we will talk to her after she recovers. Ok?" the fresh tears are rolling over my cheek. Why this? "Does he tell anything to you like why he attacked her or something?" "ya, he still believes that I broke up with my ex because of paapa. I explained many times to him, that even though mom doubted me. She also wants us to break up. Mom tried to match me up with her friend's daughter, for mom I should be with some with high status and money, and even okay with my ex too."

After completing the discharge procedures, I asked the doctor to get permission to visit her. If they don't allow it, I will sneak into her room, but the doctor gave permission. Hehe! All the way towards the room, my heart was booming. "Paapa, you okay?" "Just go, I don't want to see anyone!!" "Why babe?" seated near to her. "Please let me alone, I don't want to talk to anyone," "why babe, do you really think I am trying to cheat you? No babe, that day I was talking about Reyna, you. I felt similar, so I wished to spend time with her and to surprise you by not knowing that you both are the same. Upon God's promise, I only love you. Believe me," "Fine, I misunderstood you, but let us stop this. I am not good for you. You deserve better. Please go back. I wanna be alone." "I won't, not gonna leave you here. Why are you trying to push me away? Does anyone threaten you? Did mom make fun of you again?" "I told you I don't want to be with you. I am not good for you. Please understand that, go please..." I don't know why she is crying. If her heart is aching this much, why is she trying to push me away? Did I do anything else to upset her? "I won't. Tell me the reason I promised you before won't let you go, whatever it is. So tell me." Forcing her, to tell the truth, is not good. I knew that, but I want to know the truth. Why??

IN NATASHA AKA REYNA'S POV

I don't know what happened. All I knew was draining all my strength by forcing myself to defend that man. While fading into the scene, the only one I saw was Seong. I called him slightly, but it drained me from sleeping. Got back to sense. When hearing Seong's sob, he apologized for many things and promised he would not leave me ever again. The words I wished to hear for a long time. It was so rare to hear such emotional words from my cold boyfriend. I tried a lot to open my eyelids, but the eyes were very heavy to open so I held his hand to assure him but after he left; I realized many facts that I missed because of my stubbornness. There is no right for me to stay with him. I'm not worthy of his love and care. Moreover, that man, he.... How can I be with him? Now I hate myself. My body.. he kissed me, tried to rape me, Now I don't deserve to be with my love. Better to die.

My whole body is burning. Every inch he touched me was now filled with bruises. My lips, hands, legs, neck, and the red patches are still there like an imprint of his anger. The way he grabbed and beat me didn't hurt me, but he killed my confidence and strength. I stayed strong; I lost those. While he hooked my body, ripped my dress, and scratched my skin, all were wild like a fox who was hunting his prey, I didn't let him take my virginity. But it's hurting. He touched my body, now feeling useless. I always preserved myself from others so as not to get hurt. This did not happen with my mistake or Seong's, but am I still worthy of him? Does he love me like in the past? Does he adore me? Will he take care of me like before? What if he stays away from me after realizing the truth? So many doubts. Will he love me? What should I do? Tell me guys, you're the only one who will be with me to support me. What will you guys do when it happens to your girlfriend? Now I'm afraid of death. What will I do when he leaves me? Every second when I touch my body, every time I breathe, it feels like I'm not deserving to live. I wish to die before he knows everything. I can't stay apart from him. If he said to leave him, then I can't control my feelings. Before that, I wanna get out of this hell. If I die, he will definitely find someone. His mother definitely will be happy. No one will judge him because of me. Everything will get back after my death. Maybe if feel bad some days later he will move on, that's it. I only want to see him happy. My death can definitely make that happen. That's the only way left in front of me. The death. There is a knife to cut an apple, that is enough. A single cut. My death, everything will be fine.

Bye guys, thanks for loving me, supporting me for being with me. There was no one in my life who stayed like you guys. You guys loved and took care of me like your family member. I never felt like an orphan after being with you all. Thank you, Seong for loving me, and giving me such beautiful moments in my life. The days we spend together are the best. For the first time, I felt safe and loved more than anything. You gave warmth and care. I don't know how to thank you, but sure, my death never gonna make you sad. Move on, stay strong. I always therefore you, around you as wind. Wherever you go, I will follow and protect you. Love you. Bye.