Count down to the dream

Tabula rasa

The rest of award night become unmoved by this incident. I tried much time to talk with my brothers to confirm this, but whenever I get near them that person was there. so made me step back. looks like he is not mine but my heart saying that he is mine too. I can feel him but he is not even making a glance at me. if it was Seong then, this won't happen. I am sure about that. then, of course, a mother can't lie about her son's death. Right? does she really lie to me? no, she won't. if she has lied then will confess the truth when I tried to suicide. at that moment all I want is to follow him. they were not even let me see his face till the last moment. when I left the hospital, the guilt stopped my contact with my brothers because of me, they lost their brother. but his sudden appearance makes things more mysterious. what the heck am I feeling now?

Feeling like the whole world is lying to me. I have to stay here till the event ends, Appa's order can't deny that. what should I do now? "Jiya!! I'm leaving, hubby waiting for me!" "oo.. ok" "what about you?" "need to stay here till the end, dad's order" "to where?" "home, my baby will pick up me" "ok, so no need to worry. right?" "yaap" "then see you later" we bind by. fucking lonely now. is that idiot flirting with girls?? insane! how can he do that, does he forget to whom he was acting? when seeing him flirting with ladies my blood is fuming. wait why i am? forget it. taking three and four shorts I am getting angrier and angrier with his attitude. I walked toward the dancing stage and starts dancing. moving hip and hands in the flow of the song. need to clear my mind that's the whole thing I need to do now. hype songs and rap with DJ. taking more and more shots to enjoy the moments. 

"Ma'am, shall we go now? it is getting time" "I don't want to. let me dance" "it is getting late" "what if I get late, there is no problem with that" "you promised eomma that you will be there on time" 'so what?" "ma'am, please!! she will beat you." "she won't!!" I sulked. "ma'am, please" "I am not gonna come, bye. tattaaa" he grabbed his phone and started talking with someone. "yyaah Ron! are you dating someone?" "hold a moment sir!! what ma'am?" "you're dating someone?" "ani ani wae ma'am?" "then to whom you're talking to. look all the beautiful chicks are dancing here on the dancing floor and look at you, talking to someone not bothering us" "God, what's with her? I am not dating anyone and this is an important call, that is why" "ok ok I can smell something fishy around you" "nothing ma'am" I nodded.

going deep into the alcohol effect, immersing in song feeling heaven but still mind is confused by the previous issue. just forget that for now and let us love ourselves. In the beginning days, he left, I started to consume alcohol but eomma and oppa helped me to recover from that later that I started engaged with oppa and started traveling around with him. career dream, new ideas, and along with that hiding my worries inside my heart. "hey cutie!!" I looked up "hey handsome" "looks like you are drunk" "do I?" "of course," "not much maybe six to eight shorts that's it" "what about a drive? " "sorry, I wanna enjoy like this" "then why don't I join you?" "yap sure" he grabbed my waist and hold me near to him, swinging my hips and playing with his hair. "what do you think? like it?" "nope" "do have to try more?" "yap" "he kissed my ears and traced the finger towards my lip and lean closer to kiss. "you ssi-baal!!" someone pulled him from behind. "what the heck?"  "how dare you bitch to touch?" "how the hell are you to say that, I will do whatever I want" that man! What's with him? 

"hey stop it? I screamed. "shut up, what's with you? how dare you let him touch like that? do you forget who to the fuck you belong to? you are mine. fucking mine. understand..." "ARA.."

"Oppaaa..." "what happened? I don't want to get married" "waee??" "he is always bullying me and look making fun of me" I whined. 

SEONG POV:

I know you guys are confused with all these, I am the one who makes up my mom to tell lies to paapa, to let her know her worth, and to move on. but my brothers tried to contact her to confess the truth. but she doesn't attend the call because of guilt. all I have done because of my love. all the problems that happened between us are because of my terrible past. Took a long break from everyone and ghosted. later I get back in the thought of she moved from me. because there are many rumors of her dating. but when I saw her with a man, I lost my control and fucked up.  Later realized that was her cousin and get beaten up by him for making her sad and alone all these days. Today we are getting married and I teased her for sulking. that is why she is making tantrums. oh god thinks like she is calling off the marriage, wait for guys I will come back

"paapaa where are you going?" "gonna take my pistol to kill you" "oh really?" "Wanna test?" she took out the pistol from her dress and shot the bullet, passed just an mm away from my body. "are you fucking crazy? don't act like Pyscho Sala" "WHY CAN'T I ACT LIKE MYSELF??"