Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 1

It felt surreal. That was my first thought when I walked out of the door into the rain.
It was probably 4am; the early morning was dark and cold so when I took a breath I could see it disappearing right in front of me. I didn't know what to do, where to go or who to call. I thought about crying on the doorstep right where I was, but I didn't want anyone to notice me and really, I didn't know how long it would take for me to really let out everything I was feeling on the inside. I started walking as I was thinking, aimlessly looking at the buildings around me.
I had left him. I had said the words and I had walked out the door. Shit.
I had left the man that I was supposed to be marrying in two months' time. Even as I thought about it, I couldn't believe it. Everyone in my life was ready for the wedding, all my friends and family were more excited than I was...and that was for a reason. The thing was that I knew I had done the right thing, there was never a doubt in my mind but I knew what was coming. The storm that was brewing because I was the one to walk out and I already knew I wouldn't be able to take it.
Everyone thought he was the perfect guy. Everyone thought it was all sunshine and rainbows, that we were so happy that nothing could touch us but who really knows what happens behind closed doors? No one would have wanted me to continue this façade if they found out the truth, I was just saving myself a lot of heartache. I could just see my mum and dad trying to convince me to go back to him, telling me that I won't find anyone better or more loving. I couldn't face that. Actually, I shouldn't even have to.
I stopped walking and looked up to the sky. I wrapped my coat around me tight and closed my eyes. I was going to run away. Not forever, of course not. There's my job to be thinking about, my family, my friends and my life altogether- everything is here in London so it's not like I could just avoid it forever but maybe I could just run away for a few weeks. Just go and take some time for myself and for everyone else to digest the news.
The rain started to fall faster and harder but I was smiling. I could just feel that this would be good for me. I opened my eyes and started power walking to my flat. I was in such a hurry that I slipped walking over grates, my trousers were stuck to me, my make up was probably all over my face but I didn't care in the slightest. I had to pack and leave before anyone could stop me.
My flat was in a somewhat quiet area of North Finchley and as I climbed up the steps to the door I thought about how I wouldn't be here when everyone started coming to protest against my decision, how I wouldn't have to deal with the sad faces of the people that love me or maybe even the faces of his family. I had no doubt that they would come to me to tell me I was making the biggest mistake of my life, he had everyone fooled into thinking he was the best thing to ever happen to anyone. No, I wasn't going to be there and I wasn't going to see any crestfallen expressions, not happening.
As I walked through the door of my flat, I dropped my bag and left my coat and shoes in the hallway. I ran to my room and grabbed the suitcase from under my bed. I started throwing all kinds of clothes into it; jumpers, jackets, t-shirts, jeans, skirts...just anything I could lay my hands on. I grabbed handfuls of underwear and socks then moved on to toiletries. I was acting insane, I knew that but if I had stopped for even a minute, I would have known I was being ridiculous and my anxiety would have taken over. I couldn't do it, I just needed to get out of there.
Just as I had finished packing the doorbell rang. I froze and looked around as if the walls were going to fall any second. It couldn't be him, why would he come here after everything I just said to him? It wasn't going to be anyone from my family...so who? I glanced at my watch, it was 5am now. It was probably a mistake, some one playing tricks or something.
It rang out again, high pitched and so loud in the quiet. I realised I had stopped breathing and let out the air I had been holding, I walked over to the door and looked out of the peephole.
'Mina, I know you're in there, I can see your lights on!'
Shit.
'I don't want to see you. Or anyone. Just no one, okay?' I said it with as much meaning as I could have but I already knew she had a key and any manners were going to be out the window in a second if I didn't open the door.
'Fuck that. I don't care to be honest, just open this door and let's have a conversation. You know I have a key, what's the point of making me shout in a hallway at five in the morning?' I sighed; she was right. I slowly stepped back to open the door and as it opened I saw my best friend's worried face staring at me.
'Jia, it's not a big deal. I'm okay.'
'Have you looked in a mirror?' Jia's eyes were wide and she was looking me as if I was insane. I hadn't looked in the mirror, I had been too busy trying to pack my life into a suitcase so I could run and not look back. I walked to my hallway mirror and saw the issue. Mascara had dripped down my face, I had clearly wiped my mouth at some point because lipstick was smeared across my cheek and my hair was soaked from the rain, I looked down and saw that my trousers were leaking rainwater onto the floor. So basically, I was a mess.
'Leo called me. He told me what happened, what you said. I just wanted to make sure you were okay...are you?' Jia put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. That was it, the tears started flowing and before long I was on the floor sobbing, shaking my head to tell her that I wasn't okay. Jia put her arms around me and let me cry. I don't even know how long we sat like that but at some point I quieted and pulled back to look at her face.
'I can't go through with it. I can't marry Leo, it would ruin my life. I just kept imagining our life together and it was making me go insane. He doesn't love me, not the way that he should and I know that at some point my love for him faded too. How can I marry him if that's the truth?' I sat back with my back against the wall. Jia waited for a minute and then joined me, she reached over and held my hand in hers and just let me speak. 'He's not a good person, he just acts like he is and everyone believes him. I believed him. Everyone is going to think I've lost my shit. Maybe I have lost it. I just can't keep living like this Jia, I need to be away from him to be happy. Don't I get to be happy?' I think it sounded as if I needed the justification but in my mind I knew I didn't. I was right to want my own happiness.
'Just breathe for a second, okay? I'm not saying that you're right or wrong. If this is what is right for you then yeah, do it. I mean you have done it,' Jia laughed and I smiled with her, 'but just...are you okay? You look insane. What happened to you?'
'It was raining when I left his house. I think I was a bit lost for a minute or two so I just walked around. I'm okay though, I swear I am. I'm going to go away for a bit. I need to think about everything and just be away from everyone.' I squeezed her hand and started to get up, Jia pulled me back down and looked into my eyes.
'What do you mean? Going where? When? Alone?'
'I had this moment where I knew everyone was going to tell me to go back because everyone thinks he's some miracle that I happened upon. I'm not going back, this is the first time in years I've gotten clarity. I'm out of here. Yes, alone but as for where...I'll work that out when I get to the airport.'
'No. You're insane. No. Mina, you can't just drop everything and leave!' She was starting to panic, if I let her go on, she'd make me panic too and I couldn't do that. I had to keep my shit together and get on a flight.
'I can and I will. I work for myself, I'll take my laptop with me. What else is there that I'm dropping? It's not like I won't contact anyone, I'm not a kid. I need this. Jia, look at me, I need this.' I was pleading with my eyes and I think she saw the determination...or she just gave up on me because an hour later, she was dropping me off at the airport.