Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 24

NAMJOON

Clearly it wasn’t a secret that Jimin had feelings for Mina but I didn’t know that she would return those feelings like this or that I would find them here in his room like this. I had been lost for words but I couldn’t stop myself from speaking the truth, it had bothered me and that was putting it lightly.
I was jealous as fuck.
Mina looked guilt ridden and Jimin looked broken, I hadn’t told him because I didn’t think it would matter. If they did like each other then so what, Mina and I had only been in it for the sex but I guess deep down the hope was really a need, the need for her to feel the same way. I now knew she didn’t and it was a hard pill to swallow. I hadn’t done anything or said anything to stop this though, that was down to me. Maybe I should have confronted my own feelings before all three of us were in this situation, that was my fault too so how could I really blame them for this?
Jimin wouldn’t see it that way though, I could see it in his eyes. He was already regretting all of it because he was thinking he had destroyed the bro code. He didn’t know what to say, his eyes darting between Mina and I.
‘Jimin, I can explain everything-‘
‘Stop, Mina…you never should have let us get carried away last night if something had happened between you and Hyung. This is so wrong. Hyung, I’m so sorry. I told you about my feelings, why didn’t you stop me?’
‘I didn’t think that you-‘
‘You know what? It doesn’t even matter why you didn’t stop me. I’m sorry that it happened. I never would have done this if I had known and there’s nothing that’s going to make that okay. Hyung, I don’t care if it’s over or still going on, it’s the same in my head. I feel disgusted with myself, I’m disgusted that it even happened.’
‘Disgusted?’
Mina had spoken and when Jimin and I both looked at her we saw the hurt in her eyes. The humiliation.
I made a movement like I was going to step towards her and she held out her hand to stop me. In silence she grabbed her shoes and walked out of the door, shutting it behind her quietly. For some reason it felt like slamming it would have been better, I felt even worse now that she had left without any kind of a fight.
Jimin’s words had hurt her feelings and why wouldn’t they? If he felt disgusted about what they had done, she would have taken it in so many different ways; he regretted it, he wished it didn’t happen and he was hating himself for it, none of those things were going to make her feel okay about herself.
‘Jiminah, don’t you think that was harsh?’
‘If something happened between you two, no matter what it was she shouldn’t have slept with me. She should have at least told me or you should have. I didn’t lie, I am disgusted.’
‘And you don’t care how your words would have just made her feel? You didn’t just see the look on her face? Jiminah, Mina isn’t a bad person, I know you know that; if she had any kind of feelings for me she never would have come to you and-‘
‘And you?’ I looked at Jimin knowing what he was going to ask, ‘Do you have feelings for her?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘So you do and so that does matter, that’s why this isn’t okay. That’s why I feel disgusted. I heard you, you’re bothered and if you’re bothered then this isn’t right.’
I had no answer for that because he was right, I had said I was bothered and I hadn’t been lying. Jimin got out of bed and started putting his clothes on, moving around the room silently as I sank into a chair. He sat down on the edge of the bed when he was done and looked at me.
‘Hyung, I really like her, to the point where I was trying to plan out in my head how to make this work with her if she felt the same way but look at this situation; how can I know of she truly has feelings for me when she was in your bed just weeks ago? Imagine how I must feel too. I didn’t want to hurt her but I wasn’t lying, I can’t do anything about my feelings if my hyung had them first. I’m not that guy. Maybe you should figure out your own feelings and ask her about hers before you try to make me understand anything.’
He was looking at the floor by this point, when he finished his words he glanced at me and I saw unshed tears in his eyes. He had meant everything he said and he had made total sense. If I had been in his position I didn’t know if I could have been as straight as he had just been, he obviously had strong feelings for her but couldn’t overstep anything because neither Mina or I had been clear with him.
I nodded and stood.
I had to get an answer.