Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 15

JIMIN

We’d been here for two weeks, it had been awkward between us at first but we had just dealt with the situation as it was. Namjoon hyung still hadn’t sat down with us to talk this whole thing out but we decided to take this time as our own escape too, it was the best way to move on for us.
The six of us had flown in from all over, hiding our whereabouts from all management and from any friends and family. We couldn’t risk being found out to the point that Jin hyung and Suga hyung didn’t even tell their partners where we were. What we were doing was so ridiculous that at times I still couldn’t believe it, we had never avoided our company like this and honestly, I didn’t know and didn’t want to think about what the repercussions would be. My phone had been forgotten in a drawer somewhere and I knew that the others had done the same thing. 
Namjoon hyung was too important to us, his mental health was imperative because he was the one who held us all together. Of course we were going to side with him on this, if he had decided to do this then it was for a reason and a good one at that. None of us would argue that, we had been going with minimal breaks for nine years and we were all tired but this was the life we had chosen for ourselves and our fans were everything to us. Keeping them happy was everything to us, we all knew how much they depend on us and in turn, how much we depend on them.
The problem here was that we just needed to discuss what to do. It was all good and well hiding here but it wouldn’t last, in the end someone would find us. Maybe it wouldn’t be the company, maybe a fan would check in one day and it would be over. Fans are great but no matter how much we ask, they can’t keep us to themselves. I had learnt that the hard way after deciding to have fun on a night out in Paris, asking to remain under wraps but the fans had released the video and it had been a mess. It was still talked about to this day. All seven of us couldn’t be caught out like this. Luckily, whoever had been staying in hyung’s cabin had checked out the night that we had arrived and this cabin had been empty.
‘Jiminah, are you coming for food?’ Suga hyung called from outside my door.
‘I’m going to go for a walk hyung, you go ahead.’
Walking here healed me, I had heard Namjoon hyung mention it and I had listened. He wasn’t the only one trying to get away from this life for a while so I went for walks, not just once but multiple times a day. Sometimes with the other members, sometimes alone and sometimes with Mina. Those were my favourite ones.
I had known that I had a crush on her from the moment she had fallen into my arms on that first day I’d seen her but the crush had evolved into feelings slowly and now seeing her was the best part of my day.
Even though Namjoon hyung was being quiet about his whole situation, I had tried to gauge if there was anything going on between hyung and Mina that I needed to stay away from. It had been difficult to try and get it out of him without being too obvious but when I had mentioned her, hyung had said that she was a good friend and had been there for him in a way that no one else could have been. He said that she was feeling the same way he had been and was escaping too. I don’t know why I got the feeling that there was more to it than that but I decided to go with it. If there was something romantic between them surely we would all know by now, you can’t hide a relationship in the middle of eight people all in the same place and hyung was exceptionally bad at keeping secrets.
Regardless, my feelings had remained inside, I wasn’t going to tell her because I didn’t want to ruin what was happening here and how she was making me feel. Everything about her made me happy.
After talking to her on the bench I had walked away feeling confused, I had wanted to spend more time with her but she had looked strained; whatever had made her faint was clearly still on her mind and I didn’t want to distract her when she was thinking things through so I stayed away until I had seen her in the kitchen of her cabin the next day. She had smiled at me when I walked in and the joy of her smile had ran through me, I had wanted to walk over and hug her for making me feel so warm inside. It had been a long time since I had felt anything like that.
She had gestured for me to sit with her and eat, talking to me about anything and everything. She had worked out that my English wasn’t great and had been patient, waiting for me to figure out how to say what was on my mind. She had told me that she had been in pain because of her family and I had told her that we had been in pain because of hyung keeping secrets from us. Mina had reached over and put her hand over mine, looking into my eyes and telling me that everything was going to work out, I just had to have faith in hyung. Her eyes had radiated so much empathy that I had almost teared up.
Since that day I had tried to find ways to see her, making excuses in my mind of wanting to see Jungkook or one of the others so I could go to the cabin and sit in the communal area, waiting for her to come out of her room so I could catch a glimpse of her.
The day that had made me realise that this was a real crush had happened by sheer coincidence.
I had gone looking for Taehyungie and heard the shower running in their cabin. Seeing the guys in the shower was nothing new so I had opened the door quietly so I could scare him when I walked in but it wasn’t him. It had been Mina.
Her eyes closed, face turned up to the spray of the shower and I had watched the water running over her until it disappeared behind the frosted glass. I had frozen even though I knew at some point she would open her eyes and look around, I had watched her knowing that I wanted to be in there with her. I had wanted to know how she felt, how warm she was and how she would look at me if I did tell her to turn her gaze on me then. My heart had been beating hard, I was out of breath even though I wasn’t moving and I knew right then that I had feelings for her beyond a crush.
When I had backed out and shut the door I had walked back to my own cabin in a fog. Suga hyung had been speaking to me for minutes before I had realised he was there, my mind was still in the shower with Mina. From that day I found myself making small talk when she came downstairs, then asking her to lunch at the main lodge and eventually asking her to go for a walk with me. From then we had been going on walks quite a lot and I got to see so many different sides of her; I never mentioned the shower even though I thought about it every day.
It was obvious that whatever was going on in her life was distressing her, sometimes I would go out alone when I couldn’t find her and she’d be sitting on a bench alone crying. Sometimes I would walk to the main lodge and she’d be at the bar, not realising I’d sat down next to her until I nudged her. I wanted to ask her what was going on with her family but even if she did tell me, I didn’t know how much of it I would understand. I didn’t want for her to tell me everything just for me to sit there and not know what she said. She had always been patient with me but I wanted to see something other than just patience in her eyes. God, her eyes.
She’d be reading or looking down at something and when I would say her name she’d look up at me, every time her eyes made me speechless. They were like melted chocolate, big and bright; they were full of emotions all of the time. Every emotion would flow through them as she spoke, I could always know how she felt by looking at them and I had seen glimpses of attraction in them when she had been talking to me, sometimes I nearly asked her if I was right or wrong. I was falling hard and I was at a loss, when we went back to our lives what would have been the point of telling her about my feelings?
I went for a walk with Hobi hyung that day and when we came back to our cabins the other members had already gathered together downstairs, they all looked towards us when we walked in.
‘Everything okay?’
‘Yeah, shall we go for drinks at the main lodge tonight?’ Jin hyung was asking all of us and we all agreed one by one.
‘Namjoonah, we can’t avoid our lives forever. Let’s talk tonight, okay?’ Namjoon hyung nodded towards Suga hyung, he didn’t look happy about it but I guess he knew that what hyung had said was true. How much longer could we hide out here without thinking about what was waiting on the other side?