Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 26

JIMIN

6 MONTHS LATER 

Once again I thought I had seen her, a flash of a face or dark hair like hers and my eyes would snap that way and it was never her. How could it be, I had no idea where she was or how to find her plus we were in Seoul, why would she even be here; I was being stupid but I had been this way for months, Mina was on my mind constantly and it was getting on my nerves.
I was still so angry, I felt like I had been made a fool of and then she had left before I could even vent that anger. Namjoon hyung had come back to me to say that she had left and when I had wanted to ask about how to find her I had stopped myself. She had done the right thing, we had done the wrong thing in the first place. She had kept something huge from me and I wasn’t over it. That didn’t stop me thinking about her though, whenever my mind wasn’t on work it would be on her. Wondering where she was and what she was doing, if she had just moved on from what had happened like it was nothing to her.
We had come back to a lot of ass kicking from the company, apologies were made and extra security was arranged. That had lasted for a few months and then management had decided we had been punished enough and we were just getting back to normal. Most of us had benefitted from that time away though and we had Namjoon hyung to thank for that even though he had started it in a way none of us could understand at the time. I guess I was the only one that felt it hadn’t been a healing time; instead I was full of regrets and disappointment.
The lodge had been a place that I had been full of hope, I really had thought that whatever had happened with Mina could have been the start of something amazing but I had been so wrong.
But then why could I not just forget about her? It was pissing me off.
‘Jiminah, are you listening?’
Jin hyung was looking at me with a stern look on his face. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter, we were in a restaurant having kimchi jeon; it was raining outside and I had gotten distracted by a woman with dark hair like Mina’s rushing past the window.
‘Sorry hyung, I’m listening.’
‘They’re telling us we have to go to London next week for our next set of press instead of going to the US. Some kind of schedule issue with a show.’
‘Same thing, different city.’
‘Are you okay?’
Suga hyung asked the question and I nodded back, all of a sudden I was glum. I just wanted to go home and drink some whiskey then make my way to bed. Or drink in bed. Whichever.
When we had all eaten and were ready to go Namjoon hyung pulled me to one side and asked to go for a drink. Since I was going to drink at home anyway I agreed, we went to one of our favourite quiet places. A really rundown roadside tent where no one ever recognised us, we were all wrapped up regardless and settled into our seats.
‘I wanted to talk to you, it’s been a few weeks since we caught up.’
‘Are you good?’
‘Jiminah, I know you’re struggling. Talk to me about it.’
How could tell him that I was struggling because of Mina and not because of work? He had never explained what happened between them that day when he had left to go to talk to her and when I had asked he had just said that she had said she was sorry and that she was going home. I had pressed him and he had answered that it was neither of us, she had no feelings there for Hyung and she had none for me either. I had been furious, after the night that we had shared and the buildup of all the emotions…it had been nothing. Just a sorry and not even to my face.
Throughout the years most of us had been tricked or betrayed in some way or another but with her I had felt different.
In the short time that I had known her I thought she really wasn’t like the rest, she had been through so much herself, she hadn’t cared who we were and she had listened to my worries so I had let myself think of some kind of future where she existed in it and then she had just left. I didn’t have her number or her address and then I had realised I didn’t even know her full name.
‘There’s nothing to talk about.’
‘Usually if you’re feeling stressed out you would go out and find a girl to relieve that stress with, are you not doing that?’
‘It doesn’t interest me right now.’
‘Why not?’
‘It just doesn’t. Hyung, I’m fine, I’m just a bit distracted.’
‘You’ve been distracted ever since we came back to work. Is this about Mina?’
I hadn’t heard her name out loud for so long. My chest felt tight suddenly and I drank a large shot of whiskey to calm myself, I didn’t want to do this. I had been trying to forget her ever since we got back, I knew I was failing but talking about her would lead me to imagine her, her voice and her skin; I couldn’t do this again…I had to move on.
‘No.’
‘Your face is saying otherwise. Listen, I need to tell you something about her-‘
‘Let’s talk about something else, how’s the melody coming for that song Taehyungie wants your help with?’