Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 8

I wasn’t sure what I was thinking when this all started however I definitely knew what I had been thinking at that moment.
He felt amazing, not only inside me but to the touch he felt unreal. When he had walked inside and told me he was going to join me, I didn’t have any reservations and in the end that’s what had made me take pause.
How was this normal? I had been crying over my life, the pathetic mess that it was and he had walked in like a miracle to save me from the pain I was feeling at that moment.
When he started moving inside me I felt a kind of wonder that I had never felt before, times with Leo had not been like this. Joon was almost animalistic in the way that he was pumping inside me but I was loving every moment of it. I let out a long moan when he pumped harder, he bent forward and I heard his breathing in my ear before he bit the soft skin of my neck. At that point I felt my orgasm building, it was too much, too many senses tingling at the same time that I couldn’t keep my moans inside anymore. I was getting louder and louder, from the way that his thrusts got deeper I knew he was loving it.
‘You feel so good, baby.’
He said it in my ear and I hummed, my body vibrating in front of his. The way that his deep voice sounded when he said those words had turned me on even more.
‘I’m getting closer Joon, this is too much.’
‘Turn around, look at me, I want to look at you.’
I slid off of his cock and turned to look at him, he pushed me against the wall and lifted me, slamming back into me. I gasped loud and smiled, he smirked back at me with nothing but passion in his eyes. Yet again, I had the thought that I had never felt this kind of physical attraction before, this kind of magnetism to anyone. His hands were on me, all over and I was holding onto his shoulders, head thrown back and screaming his name as I got closer to my release.
‘I’m close too baby, cum for me.’
His pumping started to get frenzied, he pulled my body in closer to himself as he felt himself getting near to his release and the last few pumps had me moaning like a crazy person. I felt my orgasm explode inside me and screamed, Joon pumped harder a few last times before getting his own release.
We stayed in the shower afterwards and washed each other, it felt so intimate that at times it didn’t even feel real. The more that I looked at his face the more I felt that I was batting way out of my league but he looked back at me with so much heat in his eyes that I felt like it couldn’t have been fake. Why would he be in the shower with me?
We made our way back to his room, exactly the same as mine and laid down.
‘Are you okay?’
‘You’ve asked me that so many times since we’ve met.’
I laughed and he smiled at me, pushing my wet hair out of my face and leaving his fingers stroking my cheek.
‘Something’s wrong and I just want to know that you’re okay. I saw you out by the bench and I knew something was up. You don’t have to tell me about it obviously but…you can talk to me if you wanted to. Since we're strangers, basically, it’s not like I could judge you.’
He was being sincere and to be honest, he was right. If he had told me anything about his life, it’s not as if I was in a position to give advice, not as his friend or even anything remotely close to that anyway. I looked at him, lying there naked, looking back at me with no hesitation in his eyes, relaxed beyond words and most of all, with no expectations. It had been a long time since I had been this at peace with anyone, how sad was that to think about that in my life I had a lot of people but no one made me as relaxed as this man had. A man that I had only laid my eyes on a few days prior and a man that I knew next to nothing about. It was oddly comforting, maybe that was the whole reason that I felt the way that I did.
‘I ran away…not like a kid does, I ran away for a little bit to get my head together. Recently, like really recently, I made a big decision that I felt like was going to affect not just me but everyone in my family and it felt like shit so I said fuck it and ran away. It was probably really childish of me but when I got here and felt the silence…I felt free for the first time in a long time and I thought maybe I hadn’t made the wrong choice.’
‘I don’t think it’s childish at all, if it was something that was affecting your life and you needed to get away from it then you did the right thing for you. Isn’t that why you felt so free?’
Again, he was being nothing but honest but I felt so justified in that one moment that I could have cried…more than I already had. His fingers moved to my jaw and tilted my head back up to him where it had bent while I was thinking.
‘Mina, things happen but it’s how you deal with the fallout that matters. You need time and you’ve taken it, this life is yours and yours only, you can’t live for other people.’
His eyes had hardened slightly when he had said these words, anyone could see that he was talking as much to himself as he was to me. For the first time I realised I hadn’t asked him anything about himself and Joon had been asking me about how I was feeling for days.
‘Is that what you’re doing here? Living for yourself?’
‘I guess it is kind of like that. I have a lot of pressure in my life and I couldn’t keep going the way that I was. It wasn’t good for me or the boys.’
As he said ‘boys’ his eyes had widened and he looked at me with panic, I frowned and lifted an eyebrow.
'Boys? You have kids or something?'
The panic faded and was replaced by a smile, his dimples showing and a small laugh left his lips.
‘No…no kids, the boys in my team is what I meant. I feel like they had a lot of pressure on them too and it was hard to see them like that so I guess that I ran away from my life like you did yours.’
We were silent for a while, each of us thinking of our own messes that we had left behind. I was thinking about what my family would be doing right now, were they with Leo like they had been the other day? Believing his words without knowing mine? I had never felt so frustrated in my life because it was me that had caused this, me that was unwilling to call them and talk about this and it was me that had run away without a second thought but this was the first time in my life that I had only thought about myself without any guilt. The guilt had followed me though and it was coursing through my veins, this was so messed up. I wanted to state my innocence and make them realise that this was down to Leo and not me but that would mean actually facing all of them and I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t know when I would be, I couldn’t hide here forever and hope that it would all fade away.
‘Do you want to go for a walk? Clear our heads?’
I nodded my answer and he smiled, those damn dimples showing up again. Maybe I could avoid these thoughts for another day.