Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 12

MINA

Joon hadn’t left the room when I woke up a few hours later, it was dark outside and I was feeling exhausted. I looked at him for a minute, sitting in the armchair reading a huge book and then started to sit up.
‘Hey, how are you feeling?’
‘I’m not sure, what’s going on?’
‘I was hoping you’d tell me. You came out of your room crying and fainted…everything okay?’
At that moment everything came back to me. The phone call with Leo, mum and then the following phone call with Bee. Jia and what she had been doing, not just her but Leo too. They had been betraying me and I didn’t know for how long, I didn’t know who else knew either because if Bee knew then surely she wasn’t the only one. How long had everyone been laughing behind my back while I was trying to plan our wedding?
The tears started up again but this time they were tears of humiliation, I felt so stupid. I had known, of course, that Leo had been cheating on me. For at least a few years, with multiple women but I didn’t think for a second that any of my own friends would be part of that. That was the whole reason that the wedding plans had stopped and I had walked out, I didn’t want to keep turning a blind eye to his mistakes just to keep my family happy or to maintain the façade of a perfect life with a liar.
Why was Leo trying so hard to stay in my life then, if he had Jia and they had been together ever since I left then why was he trying to make me talk to him, sit down and sort everything out between us? I had found out about his cheating through a mutual friend who had happened upon the truth and felt it right to tell me that Leo had paid a prostitute to sleep with him whilst he had been on a boys holiday. A prostitute, it was so much more of a slap on the face because all that kept going through my head is why he thought he had to pay for something that I was giving to him at home. Was our sex life so shit for him? Was I so shit in bed that he felt the need to hire a ‘professional’ to do the job? Was Jia so much better than I was?
All these questions were going around in my mind and all of a sudden I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing any of them ever again. I was so confused, so angry and just so humiliated. I was a fool.
Namjoon stood up and walked over to me and at that moment I wanted nothing more than for him to be gone from my sight. I couldn’t explain it but the thought of him touching me or comforting me was the worst thing that could happen. I held up my hand and he stopped in his tracks.
‘I know you’re trying to be nice but I really need to be alone. Is that okay?’
I think I caught him off guard, for a second he looked as if he didn’t know what to do with what I had said and then he smiled slightly, nodding and turning to leave. He didn’t say anything but I doubt there was anything to say in that moment. I fell backwards onto the pillows and took some deep breaths, then after a while I decided to go outside for a walk. My thoughts were starting to burn a hole inside me and I needed to chill out, quite literally.
I put on some thick layers and headed outside, some of the lodge area was lit up by lanterns and I walked through these areas for about an hour or so before coming to rest on a lit up bench. I looked around, everything was so still and silent, I felt it calming me because it felt so peaceful. Maybe things weren’t so bad, maybe Bee had gotten it wrong or maybe Jia could explain this for me better than how my mind was unraveling it for me. Was it possible that the best friend that had been in my life since I was a kid was actually not like a sister, someone I could trust with my life or my significant other? The thought was crushing, I had never had a reason to doubt her before and it was hurting so bad that I might have a huge reason to remove her from my life altogether.
I was leaning back, thinking about everything that was going on when I heard footsteps approaching me. I thought that Joon had found me and come to sit with me but when I turned to look it was someone else.
I had the odd thought that I had seen him today already but I didn’t know where. He was walking towards me slowly, wearing all black with a beanie hat and a scarf on to protect him from the cold. He came to me and gestured at the bench and I nodded. When he sat and turned to look at me I felt an odd emotion run all the way through me. I don’t think I had ever seen anyone quite so beautiful. His angular jaw, his full lips and his sharp eyes had left me staring, he smiled slightly and turned towards me; his eyes never left mine.
‘Hello.’
‘Hi.’
‘Are you okay now? You fell before?’
His English was spoken in a distinct accent and I could tell that he was thinking hard before saying anything to me, his English was obviously not as good as Joon’s but his voice and the tone he used was so endearing that I found myself smiling for the first time that day.
‘I’m okay, are you here to see Joon?’
‘Yes. You are alone here?’
‘Yes, alone.’
He nodded and looked away, like he was thinking hard about what I had just said or what to say next. His side profile was amazing, his jaw looked sharper and his lips seemed to be in a permanent pout. His blonde hair was strewn across his forehead under the hat, he looked adorable. He nodded again to himself before turning his eyes to me.
‘What’s your name?’
‘Mina, and you?’
‘Jimin.’
He smiled then and extended his hand towards me, I took it after a beat of hesitation; his warm hand slipping into my cold one and the heat seemed to envelope me, I felt it all over my body. My breath left my body in a rush, I felt myself not wanting to let go but he hadn’t moved either. If anything, I thought I had seen his eyes widen slightly but maybe I had imagined it. Anything was possible today when I was feeling so out of place but I wasn’t imagining the fact that he hadn’t let go, he was still gripping my hand in his.
‘You are Namjoon hyungs girlfriend?’
His tone was curious but also cautious, like he didn’t know what to expect from me and to be honest, I didn’t know what he was expecting from me either.
‘No.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. I’m not his girlfriend.’
His hand tightened around mine momentarily, my stomach squeezed in nervousness and then he let go, backing off to lean on the bench and resting his arm behind me. I was a slightly disorientated but I could have put that down to the day I had or the thoughts I was having, I knew that if I was being honest it was because he had flustered me. I didn’t know why he was here, I didn’t know why he had asked the question and I didn’t know what effect my answer to his question was having.
He hadn’t said anything for a minute or two so I leaned back too and went on thinking about life and what I was going to do. I had thoughts about Joon too, I guess the people he had been trying to protect or run away from had now arrived and so he’d be leaving soon. It’s not as if we had made any promises to each other or named what was going on between us. Whatever had started between us had been because of emotions running high, the need to get away from whatever else was happening outside of this lodge and it had worked, at least it had for me.
Until today. I wondered what would be going through Joon’s mind at the moment, he was probably hoping for this silence and solitude for a while longer; it’s what he had come here for and he had been loving it. You could see it in his eyes, they had lit up throughout the last few days; he would go for walks or just sit outside and read, when he came back he would be so happy with his day. I could tell he didn’t get the opportunity to do this otherwise and he was taking full advantage. Both of the place and the situation with me too, he was always willing to come to bed or sneak into the shower when I wasn’t expecting it. Not that I was complaining, the sex had been and continued to be amazing. He was so willing to please and be pleased, nights had been spent on top of each other sweating and gasping each others names. The thought of not having that anymore was sad but it wasn’t anything that I wasn’t expecting.
‘Are you staying here for long time?’
He had startled me with his words, he laughed lightly when I jumped and put his hands together in a ‘sorry’ gesture. I smiled, I knew I had only just met him but like Joon, I could tell he had a soft soul. He had made me feel at ease straight away though his eyes were hard to maintain eye contact with, it was like he could see in to my heart.
‘On the bench or at the cabin?’
‘Both?’
‘I don’t know how long I’m staying at the cabin yet…and I’m going back to the cabin soon. If you want to go, you can, I’m okay.’
‘I catch you…before.’ I thought back and realised that’s why he had seemed slightly familiar, I remembered seeing a flash of his face before my eyes had closed, ‘You’re sure you’re okay?’
‘Yes, thank you. I’m definitely okay.’
He nodded for a final time, shot me a quick glance and stood up. He pointed towards the cabin and I nodded, he started walking away but turned to look at me one last time. I waved a little awkwardly and he held up his hand to me, waving back.