Caught In A Lie | A BTS Fanfic

CHAPTER 36

MINA

I felt like I had all those months ago when I had walked out after leaving Leo.
I was just walking around aimlessly with tears running down my face. I had gone to a park after leaving the hotel and sat there thinking about everything that had happened in the space of an hour.
I had finally seen Jimin again, when I turned and saw his face I had felt so much joy run through me that I could have cried but then he had brought me back to reality with his questions and suddenly I knew that Joon had lied to me.
He must have been so hurt, he had told me that he had feelings for me but I had nothing to give back to him and that hurt had made him lie. I had been angry at first but as I thought about it more and more I understood where the lies had come from. I had remembered the times that he had almost said something and then remained quiet in the lodge, maybe he was trying to work up the courage to explain his feelings but I had always been distanced, maybe I had made him feel like he couldn’t tell me. It must have been hard for him to hear that the feelings he wanted from me, I was feeling for Jimin.
Even though I could understand that, I couldn’t understand Jimin; what he had said to me was so wrong. The words had been so insulting and so humiliating, even if he didn’t believe me and believed Joon…did he really have to go that far? This was the man that hadn’t left my mind for months, the man that I was desperate to see and when I had seen him, he had hurt me even more.
It was close to four in the morning when I finally decided to head to my flat, I walked slowly and turned the corner, fishing my keys out of my bag and when I looked up towards my door I saw Jimin sitting on the floor leaning against it.
His eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open, he had been waiting for me and fallen asleep. I didn’t move for a bit, my mind was racing and I went through so many scenarios in my head. I couldn’t understand how he had found me or why he was here, surely he had said enough…was he still angry or had something else happened? I really thought about just turning around walking away but I knew I couldn’t, I still wanted to see him in front of me.
I walked over to him quietly and crouched down, peering at his sleeping face. He had caused me so much hurt but I couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of his face, his lips and his smooth skin. Without even thinking it through I had started to extend my fingers towards his lips, just wanting to feel the softness.
Before they could get there I felt my keys sliding off of my lap and onto the floor where they landed with a crash. Jimin’s eyes flew open and he looked at me and then the keys in confusion, when I started to stand he grabbed my wrist to stop me.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never should have said all of those things to you, I was wrong.’
‘Let go.’
He looked from my face to my hands and let his fingers drop from the wrist he had been holding on to. I got up and he followed, moving behind me as I put my key in the door to get inside.
‘Can we talk about this? Please? Mina, don’t leave me like this, please!’
I had made to move inside while he was speaking but once again he had grabbed my hand to stop me, when I turned to tell him to leave I saw the tears in his eyes, the desperation in them and my resolve faltered. I moved aside for him to walk in and he wiped his eyes, walking past me into my flat. I walked in behind him and led him over to the living room.
‘You humiliated me. You made me feel like a piece of shit on the floor. Do you really believe that I could do something like that? Work my way through you guys? I know I had fucked up in Finland, I shouldn’t have gotten closer to you or I should have at least told you about Joon and I but what you said-‘
‘I was angry. I said everything in anger and disbelief, I should have listened to you but I believed hyung and then he told me the truth…I’m so sorry, I’m so ashamed of myself. I promise you I didn’t mean any of it.’
‘Joon told you?’
‘He came to find you to tell you himself but I found you first, after you left he told me everything. I fucked up so bad Mina, I shouldn’t have said any of those things. I knew I was wrong even when I was saying them.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I promise you, I was an idiot…I just didn’t want to believe that hyung lied to me, to both of us. It was easier to blame you than it was to face the truth and I’m so sorry.’
‘Jimin, the last six months have been hell for me. I thought I meant nothing to you.’
He moved closer to me, still wary and not knowing if it was okay, I wasn’t sure myself but I could see that he meant everything he was saying and yet I still felt something missing. Some piece of this still hadn’t fallen into place. When he was right in front of me, he reached out for my hands.
‘You were on my mind every single day, I couldn’t work out why I couldn’t just let you go. Hyung had told me that you had no feelings for me and I was furious…when I saw you today I knew why. I’m in love with you Mina, so in love with you. I think I’ve been falling in love with you ever since I first saw you. I want to be with you all the time, I want to see you all the time and I need you to forgive me so I can prove it.’
‘What about me?’ He frowned, not understanding what I meant and I moved an inch closer to him to be able to look into his eyes as closely as I could, ‘I slept with Namjoon, I didn’t tell you about it…can you deal with that? Can you move past it?’
‘Do you love me?’ His gaze was sharp and full of expectations, I didn’t look away when I answered.
‘So much.’
‘Then I don’t even know what you’re talking about.’
He smiled and the relief that washed over me was instant, this was it. This was the last piece that needed to fall into place. The tears falling from my eyes were tears of joy, this was the same happiness that I had felt the morning that I woke up next to this man that was in front of me right now, telling me that he was in love with me. The pain and sadness that I had felt over the last few months melted away when he closed the distance left between us, his lips meeting mine.
His hands went to my hair as he deepened the kiss, my arms around his waist pulling him closer to me; he tilted my head and I felt his tongue at my lips, I parted them to let him in and sighed with pleasure. This felt right in every way possible.
He broke the kiss to lean back and look at me, he smiled so happily that I couldn’t help but return the smile.
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’