Son of the sun

chapter 25

take us back

"quite being a baby remus" sirius huffed the tension had gotten worse in the lupin-back household. sirius wanting to do something about aria and remus not wanting to interfere until they absolutely had to.

"sirius we can't keep having the same argument over and over again my answer is no" remus shouted from across his bedroom. both heated on the topic about aria.

"we've always wanted kids remus and you know how bad the system is no one wants a teen now a day but i do i want aria and to be able to help her" sirius shouted back. both there throats getting sore and keeping a good distance betweeen one another.

"i never wanted kids you did, you're the one who put the idea of us being a happy little family in your head not me and you know i never wanted kids and you're still pushing this" remus shouted and instantly regretting it.

"and you know i've always want a kid since the day you married me you knew and you said" sirius said remus cutting him off

"i lied sirius i lied. we were happy newly weds living in our little fantasy of course i agreed then but its not want i want. i never wanted this" remus said more like shouted. sirius felt like a kid again getting shouted at by his father. standing frozen yet finding some will to fight back.

"i thought... i thought" he coked out fight every want to cry he would rather die then let remus watch him cry.

"you thought wrong" remus snapped. he turned slightly to the wall and could see sirius from the corner of his eye. when he ran this hands through his hair was sirius's final straw as he flinched hard. remus saw it and couldn't comprehend it until he heard sirius run out of the room, he ran after him.

remus wasn't fast enough, sirius ran into the bathroom closing the door behind him quickly and locking the door before sliding down the door hugging his legs as he began to cry.

"sirius baby please open the door i'm sorry alright let's just talk about this" remus pleaded trying to open the door, shaking the handle and knocking continuously. sirius didn't answer he physically couldn't, he time he tried to talk more tears and chocked sobs came out.

they both sat on the floor backs to the door. the house was silently the only thing being heard where sirius's quiet cry's the kept breaking remus heart knowing he caused this.

sirius wasn't one to cry ever. throughout his mothers abuse he didn't cry or when he was exiled or when james and lily died. the grief of it wall didn't come till later when all his emotions where bottled up the the bring and he finally broke.

it cause remus a few tears and a good while to realize it was a jack and jill bathroom and he could get in on the other side. wiping his eyes as he stood up and walked to the guest room and into the bathroom. he didn't hesitate to open the door finding sirius curled into a ball crying.

the sight of his husband reminded him of when they where kids. when remus found sirius in the same position in there dorm after a winter holiday. after the second worse beating of his life.

"sirius baby" remus said quietly siting on the floor next to sirius who didn't dare look up and let remus see him in his current state.

"look at me" remus said. sirius only shock his head. he hated seeming like he was weak. that's what he was taught, crying is for the weak and sirius was definitely not weak. remus cupped the side of sirius's face forcing him to look up at his husband.

remus heart instantly broke even more at the sight or sirius with puffy red eyes and blotches of red throughout his face.

"i don't want kids. not if it means i lose you. i love you too much to lose you remus" sirius choked out. remus only shock his head hugging sirius that his chin was atop of sirius head. remus's touch alone calming sirius shaking body. 

"i'm not leaving you sirius i would never leave you not in this life time or the next, i don't think i could ever possibly leave you ever. what i said was out of line and i did promise, i did promise you the family you deserve" remus whispered running his hands through sirius's hair.

"i don't know what i would do without you remus, you deserve much more than me" sirius whispered holding onto remus shirt as if he let go the love of his life would slip away.... again. 

"stop with that nonsense my love,  you sirius lupin-black are everything and more i've ever wanted and will continue to want, i've been in love with you since we were fifthteen and i will love you till my last dying breath when where old. you are the only person who's ever been completely and utterly right for me you always have been. i'm not leaving you, i love you and that has never once stoped, i'm sorry for what i said earlier and if i could take it all back i would i would take all of it back"

"i think those where better than your wedding vows" sirius chuckled along with remus not moving an inch.

"yea we'll i still remember those too . word for word" remus said hugging sirius who refused to let go of him. and he would never truly let go of him. not in this life time or the next. it was something harry admired. watching  his uncles be completely and utterly in love with one another for years made him long for a love so great as that.

yes there was a stereotype that girls where more likely to read romance novels and although somewhat true, harry found great comfort in reading those pieces of literature. the ones of epic tales of love, confessions in the rain, a love where they would die for them be another. like his fathers or remus and sirius.

"hello aria you're awake early" harry said walking into the great hall. after there adventures the previous night they where all tried and aria seemed to be fine as if it was normal to her to be awake at such times.

"morning harry, this is normal timing for me to be awake. you on the other hand look exhausted" she said with slight concern in her voice.

"yea one of my dorm mates snore and i'm a bit of a light sleeper so yea" he lied and aria could see right through it but didn't say a word about it.

"so aria not to pry but i barely know anything about you mind to fill me in" harry said with a smirk. aria tired and annoyed didn't want to have an interview with him.

"nothing to be told theirs nothing exciting about my life" she shrugged continuously looking down at her book averting her gaze from harry so he would walk away. 

"that can't be true their has to be something" harry said

"what's with the curiosity on my life potter, weren't you thought not to pry on other peoples lives or was that lesson left out by professor black" she snapped. of course she wanted to take it back. she wasn't blind to the efforts harry made to be nice to her but she couldn't afford to be making friends with the chosen one.

there was to much at risk and too much baggage she had to afford having him as a friend. she could see the hurt on his face and instantly wanted to apologize for being rude but didn't. 

"i was only trying to be nice" harry scoffed standing up and walking out of the hall as his friends came into the hall. they all tried to stop harry but where unsuccessful. aria just watched him walk out. 

"aria did you say something to harry" rosalie asked protectively.

"i was merely explaining to potter that it isn't polite to go sticking his nose where it doesn't belong" she snarled.

"but he's your friend" liz said as they all looked at her confused as to her now character. she was so nice yesterday to now act like this.

"he's just an acquaintance just as i only share a dorm with you two, where not friends" she snapped rudely watching all there faces fall except for aurora and neville's. 

"whatever freak, let go find harry" rosalie huffed standing from the table her brother and liz following.

"nev rora you coming" draco said. they both looked at her suspiciously hitting the regret in her face before standing up and walking out of the great hall.

aria just watched. she watched as the only people who could save her leave