Just a crush

Husbands

A/N: Trigger warning, mentions of self-harm. Only at the beginning of the chapter so I'll do another authors note when you can safely read the rest. Love all of you so much and I'm really proud of every single one of you <3

He woke up, and it stung, it stung like hell and there was a red spot on the bandage from the blood leaking through. His mind was dizzy and his body cold. But he still didnt regret the events of the night before. He deserved it and he still did.

It was only morning and Louis knew the wedding wasnt until the afternoon. He had to wait for a while before he got dressed or he would be way too early.

He sat up a little and looked around the room with his half-opened eyes. He had absolutely nothing to do without his fiancé, but he also couldnt go looking for him, so he just decided to take a quick shower to make his head a little clearer.

He walked inside the bathroom and tried to ignore the shiny blade laying on the shelve but it felt like his eyes were glued to it and his arms were attached to it with magnets.

He didnt though, he didnt grab it to engrave it in his silky skin again. He couldnt do it right now, or else people would notice the blood or bandages during the wedding.

But it was hard, it was really damn hard. His already scarred wrists were aching and he wanted to so badly.

To distract his own mind from his thoughts, he balled his hands up in fists and squeezed them as hard as possible. His eyes focused on the outside world behind the window as he kept repeating the words 'I wont do it' in his head.

And he believed himself. He would not do it because he had enough time to do it later. And it was saver that way, less chance of getting seen by people.

When the aching urge finally seemed to subside again, he carefully took the, now red, bandages off. He traced his fingers along the cuts that were now closed enough to not leak blood anymore.

He stepped into the shower and enjoyed the warmth of the water running down his back. It made the fog in his head disappear and he finally forgot about the lines on his arms.

*_*_*

The shower had helped a lot to make him feel better and it already was time to get dressed.

He got excited about the fact he could get to wear the pretty dress that Sarah and her co-workers made especially for him. Louis put some music on and started swinging around his room, slowly making his way to the closet.

He grabbed the silky dress and carefully put it on. The silk on his body felt soft and the tule of the skirt made him feel like a pretty princess. He loved the dress and he couldnt thank Sarah enough for it.

Not only did the dress fit perfectly and looked stunning, but the silky sleeves also covered the red scars on his wrists. He couldnt be more grateful for it, because he wouldnt want Harry to know. Today is about making him happy, not worried or sad.

A/N: No mentions of anything major triggering anymore. Enjoy reading :)

Louis put on some make up and made sure his hair was up in his usual fringe before it was time to go. He heard the honk of Niall's car outside and quickly rushed out the door, holding his dress up with one hand as the other held his heels. He was still wearing his sneakers because he didnt want his feet to hurt before he even was at the wedding.

Niall opened the car door and he took place on the passenger seat. His best friend closed the door and went over to the other side to also get in.

They drove over to the forest and thats where it would happen.