From The Journals of Katherine Plumber

March 2nd, 1900

(This is your full warning: YOU WILL SOB READING THIS. If you don't, you do not have a heart. I am convinced. I am not responsible for any walls that may get punched or pillows that will be stained while reading this. I am also not responsible for any mental health issues you may develop. Enjoy!)

 One month ago. One month ago my life turned even more upside down than it was. Nothing's gotten better since then. I've only been home once just to grab some things. I live with the Reids now, at least till I can feel comfortable at home and be treated like I am fragile. Granted, Brienna and Darcy are beginning to treat me the same way since anything they say, my mind just twists it into something that... triggers me. You would think as time goes on, it would be easier to cope. But I am very wrong.

With Brienna's new found knowledge of her past, and with the help from her Father - Who is currently in Pennsylvania to make amends with Mrs. Sullivan - she is trying her best to carry on the former Mrs. Reid's legacy. Darcy is quite happy. He always knew they had a special connection in the past.

While life got better for them, mine was getting worse. I was now spending every evening with Medda to have supper. Don't get me wrong, the Reids are a very nice household, but seeing how Darcy and Brienna are around each other makes me long for Jack more. Irving Hall is my escape, just like it was for Jack. I would spend most of my time backstage and just write little short stories of Santa Fe. The wide open spaces and a fresh start was now becoming my dream. I do see what Jack saw in it.

Of course, with me being at the theatre so much, I unfortunately run into Mr. Kelly. At first, I would see him and be frustrated, but after the first few days, I just saw how much he looks like Jack. I miss him. It's hard to believe that... after today... there is no more Jack.

Yes, today is the day I have to make my decision. I can't let him suffer all because of my selfishness to need him. I rather suffer everyday knowing what I decided than let him lay in that bed for the rest of his life and suffer. Darcy told the fellas for me. I can't even face them. It's been a month since I saw them and poor, little Johnny must be so confused.

Bill - Who I had just seen for what felt like the first time in forever yesterday - is going to tell my family my decision for me. I told Medda myself. Naturally, she didn't take it well, but neither am I. This is it.

"Katherine, you need to get up." Edith said, standing beside my bed.

Everyone knew how hard this was for me, so they had all come over. Edith was the only one who came to my room the whole morning, though other than Evelyn, who helped me dress. After she left, I had curled up in bed again, flipping through tear stained pages in my Journal. It's nearly 1PM, which means visiting hours at the hospital starts. Which means... my last time seeing him.

Edith continued to stand there, "Katherine, please. You need to leave."

I got enough energy to place my feet on the floor and sit up, my black gown spread out against the bed, "I don't want to." I muttered.

"I know. But,... You have to." Edith sighed.

I nodded and stood, turning to face her with my tear stained face. Edith sighed and grabbed some tissues, walking over and drying off my tears, "What if when they ask my decision, I can't speak? What if my decision is wrong?" I asked.

"It isn't. You are doing what you think is in his best interest." Edith said, helping me pin my black bonet into my hair.

I looked at her and let out more sobs, "I'm going to lose him, Edith."

"You won't. He'll always be in your heart." She said, "You better go. Are you sure you want to do this alone?"

"Yes. I don't want anyone to see this. Jack wouldn't want anyone to see this." I said.