It's Just For Fun -Ricky Horror-

It's Just For Fun -Ricky Horror- 20

Sitting on the edge of the bed, with my face in the palm of my hands, I cried.

No, I sobbed.

It wasn't a good sob, or a bad sob. It was just a sob. A tired one. A scared one.

"I'm not suicidal. I never have been and I never will. What happened to me was all an accident."

"Sorry, Ms. Vahn. But drowning yourself is around the high rates of signs in suicide. We have to put you in Suicide watch. You HAVE to go to Greenville or else we'll take you against your will." Dr. Kingston said.

I looked down at the overly white sheets. Trying to avoid everyone's gaze that was on me. I tried to put my full attention to how much bleach they used in the sheets.

In other words, they were TOO white to BE white.

"I.... This can't be happening to me. I didn't do this on purpose. It's not like I didn't try to pull up for air. Because I did. I did try. The only problem was that I failed. I'm a failure." I licked my lips and made slight eye contact with my doctor.

"Please, I beg you. Don't let me go to Greenville. I-"

"You also have abandonment issues, you have dreams of dying, of your body decaying, and we've recently found an old diary of yours. Does a purple, sliver lined edges, with a book mark of a picture of your brother inside of it sound familiar to you Ms. Vahn?"

How could he? How could they go through my things? It was impossible to reach that diary. The only way they could have found it was by searching my room. Stripping it from top to bottom.

Even I forgot were I have left that thing.

I wanted to burn it but it held too many entries. Too many that held unforgettable memories.

Too many that I would rather forget and act like it happend to someone else. Too many that I would want to read it as if it was a book. Written by someone else.

It holds many thoughts, plans... Memories.

"Ms. Vahn, you do understand that what you wrote on those pages were from a very young age. Very young that it has caused Greenville to be a requirement. It will only be for a reasonable amount of time."

I licked my dry lips. Not having a clue of what he was about to say next.

"We already talked to your parents. They were the ones who came up with this plan. At an age at 22, it is very common that you will return to these thoughts..... those plans that you came up with too."

I felt my mouth fall open. I looked down again and I shook my head. My face became tight as I became angry. As I tried not to cry. The tears started to fall from my right eye, then came the left, and finally they collided at the point of my nose.

I opened my mouth to say something, but all I could feel were the strands of saliva. I closed my mouth and wiped away my tears.

My parents suggested Greenville? They thought I was crazy. That I wanted to KILL myself. When really, in reality, I wasn't crazy or suicidal. I was realistic.

Those plans, those where just useless, stupid, crap that I wrote down. It wasn't something that I, Hunter Vahn, would personally do.

Even if I was what they think I was, I was too much of a pansy to do anything.

"My.... My father agreed to this?" Venom dripped from my mouth as I said it. "My father agreed. To this pointless insanity?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, he finally agreed to it when your mother put out facts. It'll only be for a short amount of time Ms. Vahn. I promise. Now If you'll excuse me, I need to get your release forms."

"Why do you need to get them if I'm NOT being released huh? You're basically putting me in another hospital. You're locking me up again. That's pretty much fucking dumb don't you think? Kind useless to get those papers now huh Dr. Kingston?" I snarled at him.

The guys looked at me in disbelief. You couldn't blame me though.

He looked at me with a blank stare. All I wanted to do was shove those release forms up his and her ass. Too bad she wasn't here... wait, thank god she was't here.

"You're excused." I snapped at him.

I watched him hurry out as the guys watched me.

"What the he'll was that Hunter?!" Ricky hissed at me. "He didn't do shit to you. He's only trying to help you."

"Greenville is my help? Are you out of your fucking mind Ricky? You all know that I don't need that kind of help. Especially you. And for you to agree with them really makes me see what kind of different person you really are." I glared at him.

"I never agreed to Greenville. Unwrap whatever is around your DAMN brain and think. I don't think you need it, but if you keep your attitude like t

his, then I guess I'll be visiting you twice a week." he threatened as he glared back.

"Also, I hope you had a FUCKING blast visiting Rivers last night. I really do."