Dakota
"i just want a button to resume this mood" i sing lowly drumming my fingers on billies back as she lays on my shoulder.
my mind is so lost i hope i'm not being rude. all these lights are flashing i don't love this room..
"but it's all good because i'm here with you" i sing out rubbing billies back and pull her into me more making her sigh contently.
"you're so corny" she says with a small smile while snuggling into my neck and puts her hand on the other side of my neck.
"shut up" i laugh rubbing her back regardless, i look out at the night lights around the city making me sigh softly.
it's 3:39am and i am still in work uniform because i just got back from work but billie didn't let me get in the house.
instead she said she lets go for a drive because she missed me all day since i was working a full day.
who am i to say no to her?
now, here we are, at a random field.
"what are you thinking about baby?" i ask billie, she's been so quiet the whole time.
"i wish you were my first or i just met you earlier so i would have to go through all those past heartbreaks you know" she says with a heavy sigh.
i hum letting here continue, "i mean every relationship i have been so damaged and used, like sitting here right now i can physically feel my heart puzzling itself back together" she says making my eyebrows furrow as i listen to her voice crack.
"and i hope you never take advantage of me or my love for you as i say this but you have made such a great change in my life, i can't see it another way then this" she tells me making me lift her head to look at her.
"i would never take advantage of you baby" i tell her softly wiping away her tears, "i love you so much and i hope you know the shit you have been through doesn't define you" i say kissing her cheek.
"do you mind telling me about your first time?" i ask her reclining my seat more to lay back on it and hold her waist.
" i was fifteen going into sixteen and it was with you know who, he was twenty three then and looking back at that shit with growth, it wasn't my choice, it was forced and i was being so manipulated that whole relationship" she shakes her head and takes one of my hands to play with it.
"he made me believe for so long that he loved me and he is my first love and i owed him my virginity, it was so fucking bad" she whispers out the last part, "the moment i realized that i should get out of the relationship i was seventeen and he had agreed for his friend to have a threesome with me without my consent and as fucked up as i may sound but it was fine when he focused himself onto me and convinced me to have sex with him but once he was allowing his friends to get sexual with me i knew"
"most of the time i would visit him and his friends would randomly come over, so when i started to see the change i knew i had to get out of the situation. i knew then, not when he was neglecting me, not when he was cheating, not the grooming or when he hit me" she sniffles wiping her tears.
"if you don't mind me asking, you don't have to answer but is this scare from him?" i ask gesturing under her left boob, she only gives me a nod.
i noticed she flinched anytime i touch her there.
"how physically has he gotten with you?" i ask her with my hand intertwined with hers as the other slowly inches to her scare but she catches my hand.
"i'm not gonna do anything just trust me baby" i say making eye contact with her, she loosens her grip on my hand but she doesn't fully let go.
"he has slapped me when i started talking about his female friends but the biggest one was when he cornered me and punched the wall right next to my face" she whispers out as my thumb rubs her scar.
"and you do know that you don't deserve any of what he did right?" i ask her making her nod.
"good. you're so beautiful and smart billie, nobody deserves you. not even myself but i'm not letting go of you" i shake my head as she puts her hand over mine that was holding her with my thumb over her scar.
"and i wouldn't dream of hearting you, i'm glad you and your heart feel safe with me because i feel the exact same"
"i want you to know the shit he has done to you has nothing to do with you or who you're today, it has nothing to do with your smile, you're fucking amazing and i'm truly so sorry you had to go through that shit. if i could turn back in time and steal you from him then i would" i tell her jokingly making her giggle.
"i love you princess and best believe my love for you is only growing from here" i tell her pulling her into a hug.
"i love you too" she whispers out against my shoulder as i squeeze my arms around her protective.
"nobody is gonna hurt you ever again with me around" i tell her making her smile slightly.
"i know, you pulled out a gun on a guy who catcalled me" she says with a giggle making me smile.
"i will do it again if i have to" i tell her with a chuckle.
"but listen it's just me and you till we both die or the fucking world ends or something because best believe you can breakup with me but i'm not going nowhere" i tell her making her laugh.
"it's just me and you baby, i wouldn't have it any other way"
pls note that this is all fictional, not true information.
