Saving Andy (A One Direction/Harry Styles Story)(Completed)

Chapter Thirteen: When You're Broken

Chapter Thirteen: When You're Broken

The girl in the mirror looks nothing like the girl I was months ago, rather than the girl I am supposed to be today. I don't think that I've ever seen myself just look this miserable. I knew my depression was getting worse, but I also knew that no one cared enough to notice.

Her eyes are puffy, swollen, and red. Her hair is sticking to her head with sweat due to her most previous nightmare. She looked so broken. She looked so lost. She looked so in need of saving. 

As I stared at myself, my little imperfections began to stand out. I can see everything bad that's been pointed out at me over the past few years.

I can hear my mother telling me that I'm a heartless slut, I can still see the disappointment when I had looked into Kendall's eyes when I had told him what I had done, but worst of all, I could still hear Harry's emotionless and hard voice when he was telling Niall that I meant nothing to him. 

I was choking back sobs as I dug for the small silver razor blade that I had hidden in the bottom of my make up back in an attempt to hide it from Harry, but it's not like he cares anyway.

I stared down at it and then looked back up at my reflection. I didn't want to do this, but I didn't see another option. Reality just hurt too much. 

"Andy, are you okay?" A husky voice called from the other side of the door.

I didn't mean to wake Harry, but I guess it wasn't like I was exactly being quiet. 

I didn't know why I had to relapse right now. I didn't know why this was happening just a few hours before I was going to have to meet Anne, Robin, and Gemma. This thought just made my already clouded mind even more confused.

I ignored Harry's cries from outside the bathroom, and just continued to live through every bad thing that's ever made me hate myself all over again.

"Andrea, you open this door now." Harry screamed, taking to banging on the door as well. I had to admit the concern in his voice was impressive. Maybe I could learn a few acting tips from him.

It was quite for a moment except for my sobbing, and I figured that Harry had given up and gone to sleep with Louis or something. Speaking of which, I'm surprised that all of this commotion hadn't woken the older lad already. 

I was pleasantly surprised when a few seconds later, the door opens and Harry rips the blade out of my hand. 

"Why, Andy?" He whispered in my ear as we sank to his bathroom floor, him holding me in his arms closer than I ever would have thought possible.

"You wouldn't understand." I mumble, not looking into his hypnotizing green eyes. 

I hated that Harry Styles was seeing me break down like this. I hated that he was seeing me at my weakest, but a part of me hopes that he feels guilty. I hope that he realizes that he can't break what's already been broken.

"What won't I understand, love? I want to help you." He cooed gently. 

"You don't know what's it's like to hate looking yourself in the mirror, because you'll only be met with disappointment. You don't know what it's like to not want to get out of bed in the morning because you're scared to face everything that will be thrown at you that day. You don't know what it's like to feel completely alone when there are thousands of people standing around you. You don't know what it's like to feel alone, even though I'm not the only one going through this. You don't know what it's like to hate doing things you used to love so much." I paused to catch my breath. My sobbing had slowed, but the tears didn't stop.