Saving Andy (A One Direction/Harry Styles Story)(Completed)

Chapter Twenty Three: California Dreaming

Chapter Twenty Three: California Dreaming

Once again, I find a tiny silver blade between my fingers. I wasn't doing anything with it, yet anyway. I was just staring at it. Staring at it in hopes of remembering why I tore apart my perfectly good razor to begin with.

Maybe this decision came with the fact that I'm actually in a good place in my life right now, or maybe it has something to do with the antidepressants that Harry encouraged me to get put on a few days ago. But either way, this was harder to do than I thought.

"Come on, babe. You can do it." Harry's sweet voice came from my computer that I had placed on my bathroom counter.

"What if things get bad again, Harry?" I sighed, completely torn.

"I won't let them. Andy, you're not going back there." He comforted, his voice laced with truth like I have never heard before.

I turned my attention from the object in my grasp to the completely tired looked green eyed boy staring back at me with concern in his eyes. In truth, we had both been losing sleep just to spend a little bit longer talking to each other. We usually both fell asleep either on the phone or on Skype, and we've only been away from each other a few days. I hope this gets easier.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, thinking over every time Harry or someone related to One Direction in some way had told me that they would always be there for me no matter what.

I thought of Danielle, Eleanor, and Perrie who I would be picking up from the airport tonight. I thought about their friendship and how they felt like the sisters I ever wanted. I thought about Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn, and how much they've changed my life already. And then there's Cher who's been my soul mate for the past year. Finally, I let my thoughts return to Harry. He's done more for me than he would ever understand.

With one last sigh, I take the blade and throw it into my trashcan never to be touched again. 

The relief I felt in that moment was shocking. I didn't feel scared or broken like I thought I would. Instead of darkness I felt light, something that's been missing for a while now.

I let a weightless laugh escape from my mouth as pure happiness took over me. I turn to Harry who has a smile on his face that matches mine.

"I'm so proud of you, love." He chuckles, taking in my new mood.

"You know what? I'm proud of me, too." I reply, taking the computer and placing it on my bed when I sit down.

"So are you nervous about the big premier?" He questioned, changing his tone completely. His playful mood gone and a serious one taking over. 

He was worried that being under the stress of the cameras and of whether the movie would be a hit or a flop that I could relapse, which is silly. 

"El, Dani, and Perrie will be here. They'll take care of me. Although, I do wish you could be here instead. I miss you." I smile, hoping to ease his tension.

"I know. I wish I could be there, too. I'm not even sure what city I'm in right now, but I know it doesn't compare to yours." He gives me his best cheeky smile, and I just giggle as his words. He's so darn cute.

"So L'Oreal called and offered me a commercial. I'm just not sure about it yet." I make conversation. 

In all honestly, the commercial sounded like a lot of fun, but I already have a movie I'm currently filming, another one that's about to be released, and a boyfriend who's on the other side of the world.

"You should do it. When is it filming?" He asked excitedly, he's like a puppy.

"The first week of March." I groan, knowing that this is the real reason I'm thinking about declining. I was going to fly to wherever Harry is that week to spend his birthday with him.