Saving Andy (A One Direction/Harry Styles Story)(Completed)

Chapter Thirty: The Hard Road

Chapter Thirty: The Hard Road

When we're struggling with life, we pretend that we aren't struggling. We want to appear strong to the outside world. We pretend that things are perfect so that it even makes sense to fight for them. I think that we hide our struggles with the assumption that if other people can't see them they'll go away.

Obviously, the exhaustion was finally getting to me as these crazy thoughts ran through my mind. I had finally made it back to my hotel room, and I am ready to crash.

We had filmed all through the night last night and all day today with few breaks. I had been instructed to leave my phone in the room to avoid distractions, and I was relieved to finally be reunited with the world outside of the studio.

I plop down on my comfortable bed and grab my phone off of the bedside table. I was eager to see if Kim or Kanye had sent me an update on their gorgeous new daughter. Kylie and Khloe have been sending me pictures nonstop.

What I didn't expect to see, though, was a new voice mail. Everyone knows that I hate when people leave me voice mails, so my first thought was that it was an emergency.

Without even glancing at my text messages, I called my voice mailbox only to have my heart drop to my feet.

"I love you so damn much."

"I miss you so much." 

"Couldn't stop thinking about you."

"No matter what goes down, I'll always love you." 

It was obvious that he was drunk out of his mind, but a long time ago he had told me that he was an honest drunk. That when he was drunk he's do what he was too scared to do sober. If that was the truth, then I'm really confused.

I could feel the tears building in my eyes when I listened to the message a second time. The sound of hurt in his voice made me feel guilty even though I didn't have a reason to do so. He was the one who left me without an explanation, not the other way around.

I don't know what came over me when I decided to return his call, I just decided it was time I get some answered. What I didn't think about, however, was how much worse hearing his voice again would make me feel.

What if he didn't mean to call me? I know he said my name, but maybe he was just confused. 

I was completely lost in my thoughts, and I didn't realize that he had actually answered the phone. 

The sound of him saying my name was overwhelming, it didn't matter that it had only been a few weeks, it felt like an eternity.

Just like that, it was all it took for the walls around me to break. All he had to say was my name for me to release the emotions that I've been holding in. It made me realize how lonely I've made myself for shutting everyone out.

"Har-ry." I stuttered nervously through my sobs. I'm not sure when I started crying so hard, but I knew it felt good to finally get it all out.

I heard a commotion and some hushed voices on the other end of the line and assumed that Harry was leaving the room that the boys were in so that he could talk to me privately.

"Andy, I'm sorry about the message that I left. I shouldn't have called you." Harry stated once I had manged to calm myself down and hush my cries, but who knows how long he sat there just listening to me crying.

"I shouldn't have called you, either." I admitted in a weak voice. 

"No, it's good to hear your voice not coming through my computer screen." He admitted awkwardly. I could imagine him scratching the back of his neck nervously.