IN ANOTHER LIFE , josie saltzman ✔️

60. Of Gods and Monsters

I couldn't sleep that first night after I destroyed the elders. No one could. Everyone else was busy preparing for what was to come. Sophia, Astoria, Eve, John and to our all surprise even Charlotte, queen of Myria and the last member of the circle was busy in the throne room, signing pre written letters and documents in case the elders ever were defeated. No one, including myself, thought this day would ever come. I had never cared much for Alpha, only ever showed any care for it when the people I loved and people that I didn't even know were in danger. When I believed I could fix anything. And maybe I could. The extent of my new-found, and yet old, powers were limitless as far I could grasp. I felt like I was on a high, that I could do anything! It was the euphoria, strangely enough, that put me back in my place. Euphoria wasn't usually a good sign. I had never before hoped I would win, never before dreamed that I could be something other than a monster. But now? Now, I was a God! I could move the stars and wish for a never ending sunshine! I could fight battles that even my darkest nightmares were afraid of. I could win wars that even my own mind couldn't fathom. I freed the elders. I sent Thomas to a place worse than his own fears. I did that. I ended the reign of the elders.
„Amaya?" The voice belonged to Josie. I turned and tilted my head to where the door was and watched her come into the room. „Raven said I could find you here." I nodded and I found now that all words have left me. Josie closed the door, almost careful not to make a sound.
„They're still going through the paperwork. It's massive, but they're doing well." She exhaled a long, fatigued sigh and tied her hair into a ponytail.
She wasn't sitting straight when she joined me at the round table, she was looking tired and I wondered how much sleep she had gotten. I knew she was pretty shook up about it all because Raven told me that.
No one was angry with me, she'd say. Everyone understood and everything would only be better from now on, she'd told me.
I answered nothing. From some reason, freeing the elders from Thomas' grasp wasn't as easy as I'd thought. Why I thought it'd be easier, I had no idea. Thomas had been in control of the elders, of all living and dead things since he took control centuries ago. From a dark, dead, meaningless revilas he turned into a god!
Josie looked exhausted, purple rings under her eyes were on the things that made me realize that.
But the silence wasn't uncomfortable.
„I make no excuses! I will not apologize. I will not act as though it shouldn't have been done a thousand years ago. They needed to pay for their crimes and they could only pay it in blood. This couldn't have ended any other way."
Josie looked up then and turned her head to me. I was expecting her to yell and scream, to say that I was wrong, that we could've reasoned, that this could've been okay, but instead, she nodded and smiled at me. A dumbfounded smile. Like teenagers do in movies when they're in love and I never thought she was more cute.
„You were incredible." She blinked a few times and I laughed. Out loud.
I threw myself at her and she caught me, wrapping her arms around me as I did mine around her body.
„God, I've missed this." I breathed out and laughed again. No, I was still laughing.
Josie chuckled and nestled her head into the crook of my neck.

Eventually, the two of us broke apart, but we remained seated at the table. I fumbled with my hands as I cleared my throat. „I never meant to hurt you. Not by leaving, not by staying, not by being with Raven now-" But Josie broke me off and shook her head vigorously. „You didn't hurt me." She whispered and kept her eyes on the stack of documents on the table. „Not by being with Raven anyway. I mean, sure, I was hurt that we broke up and that you left," she trailed off and sighed deeply, „I am so lucky that you were my other half. You were everything, Amaya." she looked up and her eyes met mine, „And maybe it wasn't meant to be, maybe this was your fate all along, being here, destroying Cassius and the Elders, just like it was Hope's to destroy Malivore." I sucked in a deep breath and let out a bitter chuckle. „I shouldn't be here. I hate being here. The only times I've found comfort was when I was with Raven or the Craven brothers or James or Sophia. I really, really wanna come back to Earth." I only then realized that I was crying when a tear drop hit my hand. My throat slowly closed up and a lump began to form which was so very hard to swallow. „I want to go back to New Orleans and I want to be with my family again and I want to see Hope and Lizzie again and I want my mother back." That last part took me by surprise so much so that I finally looked up to Josie who'd before put her hand over mine. „Where is she?"
    I began to laugh and swiped the tears from my eyes as I shrugged, „I have no idea!" I laughed. „I have no idea where or when she is. And I want to know and I want to help and I want all of it to be as it was." I cried out. My mother didn't do what she did out of love, she did out of fear. Out of fear of the Elders. She was always only trying to protect me, to keep me alive. That's why she had pushed me from her whenever I was here. It all made sense now.
    I couldn't be angry no longer. Not when I had given up on James for the same reason. To protect him.
    „New Orleans will always be your home. As will Mystic Falls. You always have a home at the school."