it's officially pride month which is the anniversary of this book, yay!! also pride month, yay!!!
so,
here's some pain
enjoy!
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The air itself seems to thicken for the two girls as they stare at each other in their own lie induced panic. Brown, usually yellow, eyes searching pained golden ones for heartache's cure but to no avail. At least, not from the disease bearer herself.
She wanted answers, she wanted to be told she was wrong or that the life she wanted to pretend was so easy had finally cracked her skull open and filled it with paranoia. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could even convince herself this wasn't real at all. That she was still on the couch cuddling with the perfect girl she'd never known she was longing for until a crooked fanged smile had become the highlight of each of her days.
Yet, the silent anxiousness of nervous nail checking that she'd long learned to watch out for kept her mouth too dry to speak and mind too scared to try.
It's funny Aia had made sure to burn the habit to memory so every time it came up, she could be there to soothe any problem away. She'd wanted to care for her, face each star's fiery wrath and push them to align for them, past transcending worlds or traveling the solar system.
She wanted to rearrange the sky with only the brightest stars to match the light and beauty one person alone had brought into the smallest aspects of her life.
How could she be expected to accept that light had blinded even her and incinerated every ounce of their new galaxy in its wake?
She'd been outwitted, outmatched and destroyed by using the thing she kept the most guarded. That undeniable sensation of being broken apart only became clearer as Aia continued gasping for words that despite her best efforts, never came.
What did, was the blaze of anger led by betrayal.
They might not have said a word, but Aia wasn't stupid. Himiko's guilty expression and moments where she's about to burst and speak before retreating upon catching the other's hurt gaze confirmed every trace of betrayal. It may not be enough for the entire context, but it's all she needed.
Afterall, what petty criminal obviously steals blood from a student, makes an elaborate ruse to talk to some of the strongest future heroes, sneaks into a life-determining event hosting the biggest threats of the criminal world and lies to her partner for months about every detail that may suggest otherwise?
At least her convictions had stayed, to elevate her pain, but also bring back that hero's instinct as Aia pushed on a stone face and harsh voice."What are you doing here?"
"I-I can't tell you. You know I wish I could-." Himiko tries, going back to her own skin and getting ready to plead for even a sliver of forgiveness. She was sure Aia would shut down into apathy like their last argument, she just had to stay strong and state her case in the meanwhile.
