BOOK ANNIVERSARY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAYBE, SOMEDAY AND AIA, TE AMO
that being said I am a newly graduated girl and don't start college till fall sooo this will be done by next month :))
nowgetreadyfortears (hopefully)
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Himiko Toga's POV
Even if no one else knows it, I have tried to be a better person.
It's not like I'm too airheaded to know that all the shit I do is illegal. It's not like I don't know it when I hurt someone. Even when the adrenaline is pumping inside me and a grin effortlessly makes its way to my features with bloodlust, I know it's wrong.
What I don't have is the will to control it.
Everytime I have tried in the past to starve myself of what my unlucky body craves for power to not hurt others, the world has beaten that nobleness out of me with its cruelty until it's what became instinctual to emulate.
It has always been me giving while they take, take, take. Villainy wasn't what I was taught but after trial and countless errors it seems to be the only solution that leaves me with a chance in hell to as little as live.
Still, every blue moon, this planet has enough pity to show me why I kept fighting such a pointless battle.
Empathy, justice and love.
As terrible as we may be, people are adorable. They're the only ones that we can wholeheartedly say give any of those things. Even when my vision was blurred as I stumbled on the streets, dehydrated and hungry, I squinted my eyes and focused just a little to see if I could find it around me. Maybe the jealousy I had when I did see it was kinda counterproductive for a serotonin boost, but it made me want to keep living for the hope one day I'd have indefinite proof it made up for the rest of the ugly things I'd lived.
And in her, I found it.
The day I met her, I practically frolicked back to base and didn't help Dabi cut up an old man because he tried calling the cops on us. It may not seem like much for a normal person, but for a bunch of tortured teens that quickly decided it was just another way the planet was trying to tell them to stop wasting their time and drop dead-- it was pretty generous of me.
I'm not saying I ever planned on dropping out of the league and becoming a hero, nothing can erase my experiences and I don't want them to. They made me who I am and without it I'd be miserable living a life that's clearly built against me. Say what you want about the people I now call family, but we've all lived that cruelty and the way we fight it is merely as strong as we've felt it impacts us.
