Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Karaoke Night

   November 2016, Oulu

Niko's POV

It's been almost two weeks since Kristy got out of the hospital. And also one week since we released our first album.
We've gotten some listeners and that makes me a lot happy and glad and more sure about the decision that we had to form this band some years ago.

I just hope that soon more people will find us and listen to our songs.

Now I have also to make an another decision about Kristy's and my life. And I'm the one to pick. I'm afraid that Johanna will try to hurt her again and I can't let anything  happen to my best friend. Even if Joel said that he would make sure that Johanna wouldn't have access to communicate with any other person except her parents and her doctor I'm still afraid that she's gonna find a way to finish what she started. You never know what to expect from those people. They will do everything to get what they want.

I've been thinking the whole night and I think that what I've decided to do what will keep us and mainly her safe. Maybe I'm wrong but the future will show us. The police did nothing since the attacks were planned from someone that's literally in a phycological clinic so we have to protect ourselves alone.

I would take this step some time in my life but I was expecting it to come later, in some years but we're gonna try it now. And it's a lot better when you move in an another city when you're young because you have the opportunity to explore everything and learn so many new things. Helsinki is far away from Oulu so it's gonna be really hard for Johanna to find us there and even if she does it's gonna take too long.

Joel is already looking for some houses. So he can suggest me something but I also have to talk with Kristy. I don't really know if she wants to leave from here.

I mean this is the town where we grow up. We have built so many memories and it's gonna be really hard to leave everything behind but it's for her best and if we move there we're gonna have more opportunities for a better job and I can also do something else for work than just writing lyrics and singing since I can't let everything on Kristy's back when I was the one to promise to protect her for our whole lives no matter what happens.

It's gonna seem really strange to her, I'm sure about this but why wouldn't she be happy? She was always excited to travel to another places and she's always down to learn things about towns in Finland that she always said that she wanted to visit in the future. Also another reason to make her happy to move there and not upset is Joel.

I don't know exactly what is this thing that they have but I'm happy for them. I really didn't like the idea of them getting together in the start, when they started to get closer, I really did everything to make Kristy understand that I didn't like what she was telling to me.

The way she was speaking about him while her eyes were shining. He gave her a bit of attention, he showed her a bit of comfort and then I was the one to lose my sleep because she needed to speak to someone about the way she felt but this person couldn't be Joel but I had to listen to everything.

I didn't like what they were starting to develop because I was afraid for Kristy... She gets hurt easily. She's only nineteen, she doesn't know a lot about love... about real and true love...

I didn't really believe that Joel would ever do something bad to her  if he really felt something towards Kristy. He's also my best friend and I know him. He wouldn't hurt someone like this. But he's scared to show his emotions. He isn't comfortable with talking about himself and the way he feels. Most of time he can't find the right words to describe his feelings. He's a person that prefers to keep everything to himself. When Kristy is exactly the opposite. She needs to be shown that she's loved or else she thinks that he feels nothing about her. She needs emotional comfort as also Joel and every person does. But when she's in a bad mood, when she has a problem. When she needs help she will ask a person she trusts when this isn't really easy for Joel, who tries to solve everything by himself.