Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

First Kick

March 2021, Helsinki

It has already been almost five whole months since we found out that we will be parents.

One month ago we were supposed to find out about the gender of our baby but when we had the appointment in the doctor we couldn't see what it was.

The doctor said that it could maybe be a girl but she couldn't be sure because of the baby's posture and it didn't allow her to see clearly.

We will have another appointment in some days, where we will be absolutely sure about the gender but I'm pretty positive that we will have a little girl and i really wish that we do.

Today we had planned to have a photoshoot though.
We would go on a studio and we had invited our photographer and friend Joona to take some professional pics of us.

Kristy's belly has gotten a lot bigger and i want us to have some good pics to remember everything and of course we will also have some group pics with everyone from the band and Minna too.

"You really going to wear the blue one?" I asked Kristy when i saw what she was going to wear

She had put out a long blue dress.
I thought that she would wear something that wouldn't scream boy or girl but she really wants to remind me how much she wants that little boy.

"We don't know the gender yet, so why not? Blue is a beautiful colour" she took her shirt off and i looked at her stomach

She was getting a lot bigger and i loved seeing her belly growing.
She looked so beautiful, even if i still hadn't felt any kicks, i was excited about it.

I helped Kristy get dressed and ready and soon we would drive in the studio that we would do the photoshoot

"You are gorgeous" i couldn't stop admiring her

Even if she complained a lot of times about her weight gain, i still loved her and she would look beautiful to my eyes no matter how much she weighted.
And it's absolutely normal for her to gain some kilos, she's eating for two people and she has a whole little human inside her.

"The most beautiful woman I've ever seen" i took her hand and pulled her close to me

"You look so handsome too" she placed her hands on my chest and smiled at me

I couldn't believe that we were really about to have a photoshoot like this. A photoshoot about our unborn baby... Imagine how many pics we will take once Kristy gives birth.
I couldn't believe that in four months we would get to have our baby, we would actually become parents.

If someone some years ago told me that i would find someone to love, someone that i would want to spend my life with and that i would become a dad at 27th i would just laugh at their face and say that i don't want kids and i probably will never find someone to keep up with me and love me this much that will stay their whole life with me.

I got Kristy though, and she's been here for me on my hardest times, even if i caused her a lot of pain, she remained by my side and now we will get to have a baby.
We are starting to built our little family slowly and i will forever be grateful at her for this.

Soon we were in the studio and everyone else arrived in a matter of some minutes too.
They all had dressed really good and especially Niko.

"It's probably the first pic that my niece will see of me and i want to look good in it" he said once Kristy compliment the way that he was dressed

We were all chatting around while Joona was getting his stuff ready.

Kristy was speaking with Minna and she was telling her that it was her turn now and i just hope that they didn't see the look of fear on Niko's eyes after that sentence.
Just like i was also scared and negative about having kids but look at me now.