Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Rock N' Roll Never Dies

*Remember we are acting that they attended the eurovision of 2020 and that is wasn't cancelled. I'm reminding this in case that anyone forgot :)*

May 2020, Rotterdam

The day of the final was close
Yesterday we performed for million people on the second semi final and they actually voted for us and tomorrow we will be there to perform again for them.

It's been more than two weeks since we traveled in Netherlands for rehearsals and interviews and I wouldn't change a second of every day that we've spend here since we came.

I'm so proud of us because we made it till here.
I don't care about the place that we will get in the final but seeing that people liked us, our performance, our song made me happy enough and seeing that there are people that relate to our lyrics and the meaning behind the song makes me feel emotional.

We received hundred of messages everyday from people saying that they will vote us, that they will support us and that they love our song and us.
One of our dreams came true.
We got more famous and I didn't want our band to get famous just so I can say how many people know me and all those shit.

I wanted us to get the recognision that we deserve and I wanted us to be able to show to more people about our music.
I want to tell and show to everyone that it is okay not to be okay, that it's fine if you're fucked up from this thing called "life". I want them to know that they are not alone but there are people that have the same difficulties and problems with them.

I want people to understand that it's okay to be different.
It's okay to be that outsider, just like we are.
So many people didn't believe in us but look where we came by being different, by being the outsiders that everyone didn't even think about.

That's what we are doing now.
Showing them what we've been trying to tell them for six years now.

"You'll see tomorrow we will come sixth" Tommi said after taking a sip from his beer

We had all gathered in one of our hotel rooms.

All the band, Santeri our tour manager but also great friend, our photographer Joona and some other friends and of course Kristy and Minna had traveled here to support and help us on everything that we needed.

"It would be great if we actually came sixth you know" Olli pointed out and we all agreed.

The ideal for us would be to end up on top ten but Tommi's thought is even better and finishing sixth would mean a lot about us, our song and our country since it's been so many years since we last got a good final position.

"You could also finish higher than sixth" Kristy said while she rolled one of Tommi's drumsticks between her fingers.

She's the only one that he allows to touch his drumsticks, anyone else that dared to grab them would be dead as Tommi had been warning us for years now.

"And that would be perfect" Niko pointed at her making her chuckle.

If I didn't have Kristy with me I would spend two weeks with zero sleep, if that is possible.
She's been there every single night, next to me, holding me, keeping me safe from every bad demon that tried to destroy the little positive thoughts that she tried so hard to create and put into my mind.

She was there by my side only some seconds before we entered the huge stage to play for them, for us.
She was there to whisper me a good luck, something that I needed more than anything.
She was there to promise me that even if we don't make it through the semi final we still did enough and that I should be happy and proud of where we managed to get.
She was there to celebrate with me when we got into the final
She will be there with me to celebrate whatever position we finish at.
She will be there with me after this experience, even if our band gets even bigger or we stay like this.
She is and always be there for me, just like I will always be there to protect and love her.