Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

What Happened?

November 2020, Helsinki

It's been three months since we finished our summer tour and we actually finished our two month break.
Slowly we were getting back to normal and we were starting to attend the studio for lot of hours since we needed to have our third album ready till spring.

But we had lot of stuff already ready so we didn't need to spend our whole day in the studio, which meant a lot of free time for everyone before our Christmas Tour.

We decided to play some more shows around Finland before the Christmas and we all found this exciting and nice as an idea.

Also everything with Kristy felt so much better.
We spent so much time together those last months.
And we got back all the time that we had been missing all the summer.

We traveled to Oulu for a week to meet my parents again, we spend so much time at our home.
We went into walks, only the two of us.
We watched so many movies, we went on dates, something that we hadn't done since last January.
And we actually had some days away from Finland.
We traveled to Spain for ten days and definitely had the best time there.
It wasn't my first time traveling there but it was Kristy's first time  and I had so many places to show her.

Most of time we spend it out sightseeing but also the view that we had from our hotel was wonderful, especially when the sun was going down or early in the morning.

And early in the morning was my favourite.
After a night of making love to each other,  we sat together in the balcony.
Her wearing only my shirt while she looked at the view while I stayed there in silence, admiring her.
Admiring how beautiful she looked, even if she did nothing she still looked perfect to me.
And the way that the orange light hugged her face and figure made her look like an angel.

And in some way we always managed to end up under the covers again.
Maybe cause we wanted to feel eachother again or maybe just because we enjoyed being close to eachother.
Just having her on my arms and doing nothing was enough for me.
It still made me the happiest person.

"I will be back by the afternoon today" We were taking breakfast.
She had a day off from work today but I had to go in the studio for some recordings, at least for some hours. 

"That's nice" she mumbled and took a sip from her coffee

It's been two weeks since we came back from Spain and for some reason she's not like she used to be.
She's cold. And by this I mean her feelings.
There are moments that I feel that she's avoiding me and I don't know why.
I've tried to ask her why once but all she said is that it's all my idea and it is only that she's having some tiring and busy days at work.

I've suggested to her a lot of times that we could spend some time out together, maybe for a walk or a dinner but she denied all of them and Minna has informed me that she's been acting strangely at work too.

I just hope that nothing bad will happen again this time but when I see a behaviour like this what I'm supposed to think?

"Wanna do anything when I get back?" I asked hoping that she would be in a good mood today and maybe we could have some fun time out.

"I don't know, we will see when you come back" I just nodded at her words and got up to wear my jacket

"I will see you later, I love you" I kissed her cheek before grabbing my phone

"Yea, I love you too" she waved at me

I was sure that she would be the main thing running around my mind today, just like always but this time I have a bad feeling and I don't know why yet.