7 | a guilty conscience leads to cat food

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PETER PARKER

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PETER PARKER

"When will people wake up and realise that everywhere Spider-Man goes, chaos and calamity ensue? Everything he touches turns to ruin and the latest victim of his antics is non other than Forest Hills resident Maybelle Parker. An avid volunteer and true city hero, Ms. Parker was caught in the crossfire when Spider-Man lured the Green Goblin and Lizard to the FEAST building in Chinatown. Why he was targeting a volunteering organisation that once promoted him as their spokesperson, I do not know. But I plead for justice to be taken into our own hands and ask the city of New York to demand his capture at once! When will the deaths of hundreds of innocent lives be enough for this Spider-Menace to give himself up? When will he quit? Wasn't killing May Parker enough for the Spider-Man? Wasn't killing your Aunt enough for you Peter?"

With a panicked jolt and a desperate gasp for air, I woke up from my nightmare drenched in sweat and my mouth dryer than the Mohave desert. J. Jonah Jameson was our cities most prominent reporter and for years he had spited my efforts as Spider-Man. Even when I fought with the Avengers, he singled me out as undeserving and unreliable.

When my identity was revealed, Jameson released an almighty wrath on me, plastering my name on every newspaper, magazine article, television network and news channel. After the memory spell however, he simply returned to hating the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man. Although since my disappearance, he has since been reporting on actual news rather than hateful speculation about me.

"Venom, dude, how about a little more help with this slash huh?" I groaned, struggling to sit up in bed from the fresh stab wound in my stomach.

Last nights patrol was a little heavy, some fucker with a butchers knife had a psychotic break in Jersey and hacked his ex boyfriends head straight off. I rarely go to Jersey City but Venom demanded chocolate and I knew I would quickly get a reputation for wiping convenience stores of their chocolate if I kept going back. Turns out there was a confectionary factory in Hoboken that I could raid without anyone noticing how much chocolate was actually missing.

The stab wound in my stomach was pretty fucked up to look at. As much as Venom improved my healing abilities, he didn't particularly speed them up. He would kind of just, fix it short term until my normal powers would work. So when I would get shot for example, Venom could push the bullet out of my body, stop the bleeding by like, sealing it with his black goopy shit somehow and then I guess my normal abilities did the rest.

So looking down at my stomach, I had a deep black hole in my torso. And yes, it hurt like hell. With my arm stretched out to the side, I rummaged blindly around my top bedside drawer for my miniature first aid kit; one of many I had around the house. I threaded thin stitches through my skin as I tried to suppress the nausea from seeing my skin completely torn apart and quickly pulled my shirt back down over it. For a superhero, I really am terrible with blood. Seriously, I still gag whenever someone starts bleeding too much.

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