The Geeky Girl

Decisions not made by me

Lily's POV

A week after the meeting I attended with my mom, she was already setting up family dinner with the other family. Apparently, she already got us two dinner date this week. Landon and dad had to tag along as well. I really felt sorry for them. They don't deserve to be tortured.

I just don't get what is she trying to do, here. I don't see the whole point of this. I'm gonna have to marry a stranger, with no say in it, at all. She might as well get the guy and walk us in the aisle already. I don't need any wedding planning. I don't want cake tasting or pick flowers or whatever. I just want to get over with this shit.

She wants me to meet the family and the guy and see what I think of them. She wants me to pick which one I want. I know, if I pick someone, she will choose for me, otherwise. If she doesn't like the one I choose, she'll choose the guy for me. So, I don't see why she is wasting my time and hers.

I was in my room with the make-up artist doing my make-up while a gay tailor was trying to sew in the last minute thread sticking out of the dress that I will be wearing for the family dinner. Tonight, we are going to join the Bale family. They were one of the share holders in my mom's magazine company. They held the biggest share. They were also one of my dad' investors.

If I screw this up with them, I screw my parents' business. As much as I will hate going to this dinner, I care more about my parents, especially for my dad. He had worked so hard to build his company. I won't do anything to cause it to fall down. If I ruin this with the Bale, he might lose one of his biggest investors.

"Honey, car is ready," I hear my dad knock on my door. I turned back to the mirror as I watched him walk to me. The make-up artist just finished adding up the last touches. My dad curved his lips but he wasn't trying to form a smile. He was trying to wipe off the frown on his face. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks. They worked hard on it," I said.

"No, you're beautiful with or without make-up," my dad complimented. I tried to give him a smile but I still can't manage the whole acting like everything is okay. I stood up from the seat and looked at my dad. "Your mother. Don't think of her as the bad guy. She just thinks that this is the best for you." He rest both his hands on my shoulder as I nodded.

Deep inside, I really want to think she isn't a bad guy but all I see is herself being selfish. She's just doing this because she is selfish. She doesn't care about me. All she cares about is her company and how it will continue to grow when she is gone.

"She may be very bossy, but she is still your mother. I'm not on anyone's side. All I'm saying is that you should talk to your mother nicely. Don't talk back to her. Don't yell at her because she is my wife and I could feel her pain whenever you reject her. I already talked to her about lowering down her bossy-pants on you. I'm trying my best, honey, to convince her that you can't get married, yet, especially to a stranger." As he spoke, I just kept nodding because if I open my mouth, nothing but shit will come out. The only thing coming out from my mouth is how my mom is a cruel person and no one should respect her.

But there is still apart of me that thinks otherwise. She is still my mother. I am still her daughter. No matter what she tells me to do or have done to me, I needed to respect her. I needed to give all the respect she deserves from me. I still love her.

I love and hate her. Is there a term for that? I love her because she is my mother. I hate her because she controls my life.

"Why do I even have to get married with a stranger for?" I asked.

"Because your mom thinks it will be best for both the two families. Ours and the guy's family you will get married to. She already have set out the family's future and the company's growth. I know you're too young to understand..." he trailed.