Tortoise and Fox [BL]

2.12

"I don't want to die."

The festive atmosphere struck Li sorely as he arrived at Antheia Plaza. Colorful wired lights were strung along anything with a surface, lessening wary gazes with the warmly lit bustle of the midday market. Li wandered around with a listless gait, following the flow of moving people. His heart shuddered with little pangs, as if the bandaid pressed over his heartache had been torn away, exposing the sensitive wound once more.

Around this time, Li would be heading home with O, fulfilling the promise they made together; it hurt to think about. He couldn't think about it—or think about anything—for that matter.

So instead...Li chose to run away.

At least, Li had tried.  He was too much of a coward to leave, instead circling around to this plaza. He loathed himself for being naturally drawn to what he understood as familiar--and scared of what he didn't understand.

Li smiled bitterly, as his feet guided him to his favorite stall. He stepped aside into the quiet area. The chair at the front was empty, and the stall was deserted without a trace of activity. On colder days, the old woman stayed inside the building behind her barren stall.

She did not look up as he entered, eyes resting shut. Li wouldn't have guessed she was awake without the steady creak of the rocking chair swaying back and forth.

Inside, each packet of seeds were displayed beneath a glass case, the way a merchant would guardedly display precious jewelry. He leaned closer, reading all the labels to himself.

'White roses, daisies, sunflowers, red carnations, orchids, and...'

His head jerked up in confusion. The seedlings he expected to see most of all, the little packet above the label, 'Silver Plum Blossoms,' were absent.

"Where are they? The silver blossoms?'

"They have been exchanged," the voice responded with an even, raspy lull.

"I see..."

Li stared at the tiny scribbled label with an empty gaze, lost in thought. The bustling barters and chatter outside the building melted together into muffled, unrecognizable noises behind the door.

His simmering anger seemed to dissipate into a cool, lingering misery. Everything Li once understood, flipped itself on its head; his once established normalcy disappeared between his fingertips, slipping out from underneath. It crumbled apart into ashes, scattering alongside the winter wind. And all that was left...was Li.

He began to question...what exactly he was living for. His dream—of silver petals falling in a warm, grassy spring—was gone.

The old lady continued to speak, elaborating on her words—and restarting the conversation that Li thought had long since fell to silence.

"Your friend with the special soul took it off my hands last night."

"...huh? Tincan—ah, Ume, Ume came here?"

Li's mind flashed back to the words he spoke, not long ago.

'My dream...is to see silver plums blossoming.'

The liquid gold swirled with endless intensity in the backs of the man's pupils; the serious gaze seemed to take in every word Li spoke.

His heart caught itself in his throat, pounding loudly in his own ears as he moved close to the old woman. He fiercely denied it in his thoughts, struggling to digest the single sentence that tore apart Li's flimsy defense.

There was no way, no such way, that Ume would do this. He cannot choose to do anything, for he only follows the script embedded in his circuitry. This situation occurred because he was created for the sole purpose of absorbing information. He did this because he was ordered to understand humans. Because...because...!