Tortoise and Fox [BL]

2.11

White, winter was always so white.

A warm sensation wet Li's cheek, tethering his drifting consciousness. The rough tongue brushed against his face as he cracked open his eyes wearily.

"Yu, stop it..."

"Ao! Ao!"

"So loud," he spoke. His voice came out raspy, throat so parched that a dry cough followed. The pressing weight on his chest shifted down to his legs, as Li slowly say up, head heavy.

A bottle of water was handed to Li. He downed it quickly.

"Where, are we?"

"At your—at home. Li, you woke up."

A full throb made itself known in Li's shoulder. He winced, deaf to the warm relief in the Angel's voice. The arctic fox whined loudly, bumping against the furry head. Li pet the fox with an absent mind, as he glanced around the room. 

He saw untouched belongings atop old dressers, the faint smell of childhood lingering.

Mom... Li hadn't entered this room in a long time.

He shook himself out of the reverie, trying to instead recall what happened. It was a blur, tears and pain blurring most details in his memories.

"What happened back there, Tincan?"

The silver fox Yu lie limp in his arms, tail thumping as Li scratched a specific place behind its ears.

"Yesterday, I was ambushed by a group of humans I did not recognize. They stated that O revealed our location."

"I see." He clasped his hands atop the white fur.

It felt as if an invisible hand was grasping his heart in a tight fist, crushing it tight. His thoughts felt frayed with betrayal, shaken.

First, the auntie and uncle, and now O. Deciding whether to save themselves, or save Li. This choice was apparent, so clear-cut that Li's presence didn't sway their minds whatsoever. In the end...

Ignorant to the progressively darkening thoughts, Ume continued summarizing with a stoic expression.

"You were shot in the shoulder and fainted. I carried you home. However, you contracted a high fever with a temperature of 105 degrees Fahrenheit (40.5 Celsius). With the extreme temperatures of your body and the nighttime cold, I determined that maintaining your external temperature was best. The blankets and heater you requested to leave alone--I brought them over after determining the high risk of your wellbeing. My priorities dictate Li gives the highest chance of future success to my assigned missions."

In the end...Li was just another thing to be used, not a person to be loved.

"And then what?"

Ume tilted his head at the unclear response, the same mechanical look present on his face. Calculating, processing, assessing, evaluating what was the best course of action for him, no, for his mission, for his duty as an Angel.

Li scoffed, cheeks growing in fierce warmth, the outer rage floating deep from within a magma core. He picked up the fox and put it aside on the ground softly, before pushing himself up.

"And then," Li continued, "when I am no longer your 'main priority,' you'll dispose of me?"

"My orders state I refrain from eliminating humans-"

"And 'cause the humans you fought weren't your priority--you eliminated them?" He tried to keep his voice steady. Li didn't look over, he couldn't,

"Why...why did I ever intervene? It was stupid to try 'n help you back at the plaza. MY relationships, MY family, MY friends--if I hadn't met you, none of this would have happened!"

"Li, I do not understand. You are acting irrational."

"Of course you don't understand Tincan," he cried, throat trembling, "because you're just a monster."

"A robot that moves on numbers and code--a thing here to plague my life, to take away everything. First it was my mom. And now... now..."

The fox whimpered, still as a statue. Ume looked onward, the liquid gold swirling in the backs of his eyes.

"Everyone, they were right. All angels are the same. I don't know why..."

"Why I thought anything would be different with you."

Li walked out of the room glancing over at the wilting plants with an aching heart. They were brittle with ice. A dried leaf fell off, drifting to the floor.

He moved on with little hesitation, stuffing the black backpack against the wall with bare essentials. Li could hear the soft padding of paws and the click of boots behind him as he slipped the backpack on.

His hand grabbed the door's handle, as the deep voice spoke.

"Li, I'm sorry."

Clean of impurities, was the voice that normally lit up Li's wintery world. Now...he didn't know what it was now. He swallowed the little lump of regrets growing in his throat and opened the door. An icy breeze blasted through the dilapidated house, his tongue stinging as he spoke.

"Don't follow me. Not you, not your fox. I'm leaving."

The wind seemed to howl in pain, as every inhale chilled his lungs. He stepped into the snow with a thick crunch, snow crashing down in foggy waves. Red-tipped fingers pulled over the dark hood, covering his slightly wet eyes.

His steady pace broke into a run, snow kicking dully behind as he threw himself into the grey, abandoned streets. The endless, cloudy sky seemed to laugh at him. White, winter was always so white.

He almost forgot how alone he felt, surrounded by the color white.