⌁ Thunder ⌁ Lana Del Rey Fanfiction

chapter twenty-three: letting go

Lana

I should've ran after her the moment she walked through that door.

James stood in my way, glancing back at the door as it slowly clicked shut after the blazing trail Alejandra left behind. I knew she was upset and confused, and for all of the right reasons.

Alejandra caught me with the same person she thought I cheated on her with again. Well, could I even say that? We never made our relationship official. The muddy waters of our love likely confused her even more.

James turned his attention back to me and grinned. "No manners with these kids nowadays, right?" he tried to joke, folding his arms to his chest humorously.

She's not a child. Maybe you are.

I furrowed my brows out of anger, confusion, and fear. All of these emotions were coursing through me, and I didn't even know where to start asking questions from. I tried to speak, but all that came out of my mouth was air. My lips trembled as I barely managed to mouth what I meant to say, yet couldn't.

James earnestly smirked at my failed attempt of talking. He thinks he's so powerful, acting as if he still has control over me.

Wait, does he?

"Hey, it's just me." He assured before flashing that false reassuring smile as he tried to place a hand on my shoulder. Thankfully, I managed to step back in time.

"Fuck you..." I muttered under my breath, the only thing I could say from the anger I was feeling. My face tingled as I felt myself grow red.

James quickly washed a stern look over his face. "Hmm, maybe you should act a little more grateful towards me. I got you to where you're at right now, you know..." He shrugged cockily as he finished talking.

Boom.

"Are you hearing yourself?!" I burst out. "If I remember properly, you were the one who left." I jabbed my finger into his chest as I yelled, taking him aback. "It was you who left me to pick up the pieces. Do you even know the shit that went down when you ran off? My name was in the mouths of everyone because of what we once had. I had to fend for myself." My whole body shook as I cleared my chest of all of its air.

"Alright-" He cautiously tried to stop my remarks.

Too late.

I continued. "No, screw you. I don't owe any of this to you. I built my reputation here from the ground up in your absence. This is mine." I raised my arms, trying to highlight the pride I felt inside of the room.

I was overly defensive, sure. But I wasn't going to take anything from him.

Not anymore.

"Okay, I get it." He finally replied, somewhat defeated. "Look, I... I know I did some bad things." I immediately rolled my eyes. "But I came back, and I want to make things right. I want a clean slate. Just one more chance, where we could get our old life back..." His eyes glimmered with persuasion and hope.

For the first time, he had no effect on my judgement. His words never should've dictated me, and it's a shame I only realized so late.

"Tell me," I wearily started, straightening my posture up a little. "Did you plan all of this? Was this some grand plan of yours in order to try and get me back?" I questioned, and in the process I inched closer to him.

He tightened his jaw from what I could recognize as annoyance. That was his signature move when he was angry, clenching his jaw and putting up a piercing glare. I guess some things don't ever change.