The Devil on Her Shoulder (gxg)

Part 10- A Not So Good Morning

I woke up the morning after sleeping with Daisy- and guilt immediately washed over me.

Who was I to enjoy something like sex when my best friend was brutally murdered? I shouldn't be enjoying anything.

Maybe I did need therapy.

As if on cue, I received a phone call from my dad.

At 8 am? Come on, dad.

I answered, half awake. "Hello?"

"Cassidy- are you awake?" my dads voice came through on the other end.

"Yes, I'm awake."

"Okay. It didn't sound like you were fully awake. It's 8 am, I don't know why you wouldn't be."

"I'm awake, dad." I said, rolling my eyes. Not everyone can wake up at 5 am, workout, then go be a Physician all day.

"I found someone for you to talk to. Her name is Mickey, she's on campus at your school. She comes recommended."

"Thank you, dad." I said, "I appreciate it."

"Well...you're welcome. It's needed." my dad said, "Try to have a good day. Your first appointment with Mickey is Wednesday at 11."

"Thanks." I said, "I'll talk to you later."

Serena was up already, like my dad, she works out early. But Nicki was still asleep.

"Who were you talking to?"

I was startled, I didn't know Nicki was actually up.

I sat up to see Nicki, looking at me.

"That was my dad. He found a therapist for me to talk to." I said.

"Your dad finds you therapists, my dad is the reason I need one." Nicki said, jokingly.

I couldn't help but to chuckle.

"You're funny, Nic. How was your dinner?"

"Good." Nicki sat up in bed, "It was nice to have a night that felt somewhat normal. But let me tell you- we got stares from people. They know who we are. And what happened."

"That's just great." I said, "But not shocking. It's a murder of someone on campus. Plus, it's Mila. It's not like she wasn't well known wherever she went."

"It was bound to send shock waves." Nicki shook her head, and then she looked at me, "How was your night in?"

"It was fine." I said, feeling guilty all over again."

Nicki looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "What are you not telling me?"

I sighed and said, "Daisy and I...we...you know..."

Nicki's eyes widened. "Are you serious? This is exciting! You've wanted this since the day you met her."

"Yeah. I know." I said.

"Wait, why do you seem upset?" Nicki looked at me, concerned, "Did she have no idea what she was doing?"

"Oh no. She certainly did." I said, getting a flashback of Daisy going down on me. "I just feel guilty. I feel so damn guilty about it. Who am I to enjoy things such as sex when my best friend isn't even here? I feel bad. And I also don't want Daisy thinking that this can turn into anything serious. My mind is a fucking mess, Nic."

Nicki paused for a moment and then said, "Cass- you can't punish yourself for being alive. You know that, right?"

"Logically, yes." I said, "But the guilt takes over."