The Devil on Her Shoulder (gxg)

Part 33- Moving On

15 years.

That's how long of a sentence Nicki got for prison.

She would be 35 years old when she was out.

She was an accessory to murder- and she took a plea deal. She knew she was fucked.

I still just wanted to know why. Why did Nicki do it? Why did she team up with Candace? I had no fucking idea. And I accepted the fact that I would possibly never know.

School for the year had ended- and I had been debating not going back to school.

But Serena called me- and she told me that her sister, Erika, was transferring to our school, and they needed another roommate- and they wanted to know if I would live in an off campus apartment with them.

I told her that I would. I still wanted to stay in my Nursing program- and I still wanted to be at the same school as Daisy.

Daisy was staying with her sister now- but she came down to visit me a lot, and I was planning on going to meet her sister and she her hometown.

I had spoken to Natalie as well. She called me to see how I was doing, and she told me that she wasn't going to be returning to school- she decided it wasn't right for her. Her and Mr. White were still going strong.

I didn't know of Rachael's whereabouts. Or if I would ever know.

This summer I was alternating my time between my mom and dads house. One night in July, when I was at my dads, I was sitting out by the pool, drinking a Diet Coke and relaxing.

Christian was also staying at our dads. Ever since the news came out about Nicki, he had withdrawn quite a bit. I think it was just the shock of it all. Yes, him and Nicki were a new relationship. But I knew he liked her a lot.

I heard footsteps, and turned to see him walking out to the pool.

"Want some company?" he asked me. He had what looked to be a joint in his hand.

"Sure. Come sit." I said, and he said next to me. He lit his joint with the lighter he had in his basketball shorts pocket.

He inhaled, and then held the smoke in for a moment. After he blew it out, he offered me the joint.

"Sure, thanks." I said, and took it from him. I inhaled, taking in the smoke.

As I blew it out, Christian asked me, "Are you doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be." I said.

My best friend got murdered. My other best friend was involved. I killed her killer in self defense.

It's a lot.

"I get that." Christian nodded. I could tell he wanted to talk more.

"You know- I'm not the only one who has been through a lot." I looked at him.

"Compared to you I haven't been." he shrugged.

"It's not a competition. Are you okay? Your girlfriend was arrested and charged as an accessory to murder." I said. Why not lay all the cards on the table?

He looked at me, and his expression fell.

"It's fucking crazy, isn't it?" he said, inhaling more smoke.

"I'd say so." I nodded.

"This is one of those things that I think is going to take me a while to move past." Christian said, "I know that Nicki and I didn't date for long. But I liked her. A lot. I really did. And when I found out what she did to Mila...what she did to you...it felt like everything was just a lie. A complete lie. But at the same time, it was all ripped away from me. And I had no say in it." Christian said, looking up at the sky.

I knew it was hard for him to open up.

"I understand." I said, "It makes me feel like every single thing with Nicki was a lie as well."

"You should talk to her- when you feel ready, of course. Go see her. Get answers." Christian looked at me.

"Maybe I will." I said, "I think I deserve them. Mila deserves them."

"You know, I think she would be really proud of you for shooting her killer." Christian said, and then his eyes widened, "Fuck. Sorry. I'm not trying to bring up something that will upset you even more."

"You know- I almost feel numb to the fact that I...I can't even really say it- that I ended someone's life." I spoke, "I have moments of guilt. But if it wasn't her- it would have been me. That's what I keep reminding myself. It would have been me."

"And I'm sure as hell glad it wasn't." Christian grinned at me.

Later on, I was in my bedroom when my phone started vibrating.

It was close to 11 PM- and I expected it to maybe be Daisy- but it was a number I didn't have saved- from New York.

Could it be Rachael?

I felt a chill go down my spine.

I didn't answer, I just let it ring. But then the number called again.

Fuck it.

I picked up my phone and sat on my bed.

"Hello?" I said, heart pounding.

"Cassidy? It's Rachael."

Knew it.

"Hi, Rachael." I said back.

"I'm sorry to be calling late. Is it a bad time?"

"No, it's not." I said, "How are you doing?"

"I'm...alright." Rachael said, "How are you? I know what happened, of course."

"I'm trying to be okay." I said, "So...is there any reason in particular why you called?"

"Of course, you want to know that." Rachael said, "Well...I just thought I would give you some answers you may be looking for."

"Well...I do want to know how you knew where that bat was."

Rachael sighed, "I knew Nicki was part of what happened to Mila. The whole time. I saw her burying the bat after it happened. You know me, I like to take walks and observe. I confronted her about it. And she told me that she- and whoever else was involved with Mila's death- would kill me if I said a word. And I knew she meant it. It really spooked me."

"So you knew Nicki was in on it the whole time? Why the hell didn't you let the police know?" I asked.

"I got scared. Truly scared that something would happen to me. I know it was stupid. And I know it was selfish." Rachael said, "But that night that you and Nicki went to the club and I was there...I was worried that she was going to hurt you in some way. I was watching you. Trying to warn you."

"And what about the stalking, Rachael? Because you were stalking Mila." I said.

"I was protecting her. Watching her. And I obviously failed." Rachael said.

She still won't admit how fucking weird it was. She's not a killer...but there's something wrong with her.

"Are you coming back to school?" I asked her, changing the subject.

"No." she said, "I'm going to be going to a college in New York. I won't be returning. I need a new environment."

"I understand." I said.

"Well, I'll let you go, Cassidy. Be well." Rachael said.

"You too. Goodnight." I responded.

It still blows my mind that Mila had a sexual relationship with her.

There was a lot about Mila that I still had trouble digesting since her death.

But I had to deal with it.

And move on.

Or at least try to.