The Devil on Her Shoulder (gxg)

Part 35- Pouring My Heart Out

My first full school year without Mila ended- and I went back home for the summer to stay between my mom and my dads house.

A week after school ended, I went to Target for my mom- she gave me a list of things we needed at the house, and I drove over to shop for her.

I was in the hair products aisle grabbing conditioner when I heard a familiar laugh and voice- and the clacking of heels on the ground.

I looked up to see none other than Natalie and Mr. White.

I looked at Natalie, who was in a white and yellow sundress with spaghetti straps. She was also...pregnant. Clearly. She had her hand on her stomach as she smiled at Mr. White.

What the fuck.

She then noticed me.

"Cassidy! Hi!" she rushed over and before I knew it she was hugging me.

"Hi, Natalie." I said to her, and plastered on a smile as I pulled away.

"Hello, Cassidy." Mr. White said, looking a bit flustered.

"Hi." I said back, with a small wave.

We were silent for a second, and then I looked at Natalie.

"Are congratulations due?" I looked at Natalie.

"Yes." she beamed, "I'm 6 months pregnant."

"Well, congratulations." I said, "That's wonderful."

Natalie and I chatted for a few moments more- Mr. White didn't say much. Natalie asked me if Daisy and I were still together- I told her we were.

"You better invite me to the wedding." she said to me.

"Of course." I said to her.

A moment later, she gave me one last hug, and walked off with Mr. White.

I felt a lump in my throat the rest of the time I went shopping.

Right when I got in my car, I called Daisy. She was with her sister, and I was going to visit her in a week, and spend some time with her.

"I ran into Natalie and Mr. White." I said, feeling tears coming to my eyes, "She's pregnant."

"Are you serious?" Daisy said, "I mean...not to sound insensitive...but now she has his money for life. Or at least 18 years."

"It's not insensitive, it's true." I said.

"Are you crying?" Daisy asked me, concerned.

"It was just weird." I said, wiping at my eyes, "I don't know. Natalie said they were expecting a girl. It just makes me think that he moved on from Mila's death so quickly and now he's expecting another daughter. It just feels like she is forgotten by her own dad."

"I know it definitely seems that way." Daisy said, "I can imagine it was very weird seeing them. And I'm so sorry you're upset."

"I'll be okay." I said, fanning my eyes, "It just still hits me out of nowhere sometimes that she's gone. Forever."

"I know." Daisy said, "It still doesn't feel real. And it's an awful feeling."

"It is." I said, and sighed, "I miss you, Daisy."

"I miss you too, my love." Daisy said, "I can't wait to see you next week."

"Me too. I love you." I said to her.

"I love you too, Cassidy." Daisy said, "Call me whenever you need me."

After we hung up, I got an urge to do something I hadn't done yet-

Visit Mila's grave.

I hadn't done it last summer. Or during the year. Not because I didn't care.

Because I was scared of the emotions it would bring up.

But now, I had this sudden urge to be close to my best friend. I needed to be in her presence. And I believed I would feel it if I went to her grave.

I drove over to the graveyard she was buried at- and got out of my car. I walked for a little while until I got to her grave.

Seeing her gravestone say "Mila Katherine White 2002-2021". There were flowers and stones by her grave.

"Fuck." I said to myself, tears coming to my eyes again.

I sat down on the ground in front of her gravestone. I immediately got this sensation that it was just me and her, in a space together. And I could talk to her freely.

"I'm sorry that this is my first time visiting your grave." I started, "It's not that I wanted to avoid you, or avoid this. I was just nervous that it was going to bring up a lot of emotions that are hard as fuck to deal with."

I played with the grass by her grave, "And we both know that emotions are hard to deal with. You never wanted to deal with emotions either. But I have a couple of things to say to you that have been on my mind."

I could feel a lump forming in my throat again, but I pushed past it and continued to speak to her.

"I've been feeling guilt- for admitting that you weren't the best person at times to Nicki before I found out that it was Candace who did this to you. I really have been. I feel as though I shouldn't have spoken badly about you at all. But the thing is, Mila- there were times when you weren't the best person. You could be hard to be best friends with sometimes. But I'm sure I wasn't the easiest to be best friends with sometimes either. But that's all part of what made you, you. You were stubborn, hard headed, harsh as fuck on people sometimes- but you were loyal, free spirited, generous, and your soul spoke for itself. And...I know that you may have had feelings for me as well. I will never be able to confirm it. But just know I love you, very much."

I sighed before I continued, "I also just wanted to say that I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I miss being able to share my innermost thoughts with you. I miss having inside jokes with you that used to annoy the fuck out of people around us who didn't get it. I miss having sleepovers with you and talking until one of us fell asleep. I miss going on drives with you, and singing our souls out listening to music. I just fucking miss you. I miss knowing that my best friend was here on earth with me. I'm so damn sorry I took that for granted. Because I truly think I did."

I felt the tears flowing from my eyes. "And I'm so sorry that Candace did this to you. You didn't deserve this. You deserved to live a long, full life. You deserved to have many years taking care of animals and start your own business. We deserved many more years together. Part of me left when you did. But I will say- I got the ultimate revenge by killing your killer. And I think you're proud of me. I know you wanted that bitch dead."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Mila. I love you. You'll always be my best friend. I promise you that."

I then kissed my hand and put it on her grave.

"Until we meet again."

I then got up, and walked away from her grave.

I said what I needed to say to her.

And now, all I could do- was live for her.

And that's exactly what I planned on doing.

End.

A/N- Thank you so so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story. It was a lot of fun to write, and I was able to let my imagination run with this one. I'll miss the characters a lot.

I am going to do a spin off of this story as well- and the main character will be one of Mila's younger sisters. Stay tuned for that in the next few months ❤️